Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Will this heart ache every go away? triggers!!

Posted by on Jan. 11, 2014 at 2:10 AM
  • 17 Replies
I woke up on February 4, 2013 like every other day. As I sat on my bed holding my 10wk ds and talking to dh about our great super bowl we hosted the night before, I realize I didn't hear my mom talking, she lived with us to help with the kids and her financial situation. I asked dh if she was awake yet and he said no, which was odd bc it was already late in the morning (dh took care of the kids and let me sleep in) and she is usually up by then. I just assumed she was exhausted from the party and staying up late so I didn't pay it no mind. About 5min later dh decided to go to the store so I got up to ask my mom If she needed anything, as soon as I went In the room in knew something was wrong! She was laying half on the bed, her leg began to appear purple. As I went to yell mom why are you laying like that, I started to tap her back. .. it was so hard, my heart stopped! I still remember screaming, my world stopped and I couldn't breath! Idk what happened, how could this happen to such a young person with such a long future ahead of her. My dh picked me up, and called 911 all while trying to calm my children. I don't think they knew what happened, just scared bci was upset. When the coroner and paramedics got there, they had to move her to the floor, her face was not the same, the side was purple. They said she must had passed about an hour after she went to sleep.
I still see her like that in my dreams, ill look over at dh in the middle of the night and see her face. How do I get this to stop! ?! I can never sleep, I'm up all night checking my family to make sure no one else has died. The pain I go through every night is unbearable now. I have tried therapy but it seemed to only make me worse, taking about it brought it all back up over and over again, reliving this breaks my heart every time. I was told I have ptsd but no tools to help me live with it.

The autopsy shows nothing, she was only 46 and pretty healthy. They ruled out as sids for adults. Has anyone heard of this? Did you get any real answers? Have you ever dealt with something similar, losing and finding a loved one like this? Will the pain ever go away? Will I ever be normal again? Her 1 year HEAVENniversary is the 4th, and that's the same day my dad goes for surgery to remove a kidney from cancer. Idk how I will get through the day! My heart is broken and my soul is shattered.

I'm sorry for any typos or mistakes. Thank you for taking the time to read and give some support or answer any questions. Please share any encouragement that I will one day be normal again. I know i posted this a year ago when it happened, but I'm still in the same spot and idkv what to do anymore. Have a good night ladies and again thank you if you made it to the end


*please cherish every moment you have with the ones you love, you never know if today is their (or your) last. *
by on Jan. 11, 2014 at 2:10 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
mymomisthebomb
by Bronze Member on Jan. 11, 2014 at 2:14 AM

Ouch! I am so sorry and wish I had words to comfort you! Hugs and prayers!!!

Momof3smoochies
by Silver Member on Jan. 11, 2014 at 2:14 AM
1 mom liked this
I am so sorry. I think that with time it will get better. The pain will always be there but it will lessen. Be strong and always remember the good times.
ivegotrhythm
by Gold Member on Jan. 11, 2014 at 2:18 AM
I'm so so sorry! I can't even find words.
jaylinsmom1
by Shannon on Jan. 11, 2014 at 2:21 AM
Bump
StephanAndCoral
by Bronze Member on Jan. 11, 2014 at 2:22 AM
Many hugs and prayers
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jan. 11, 2014 at 2:23 AM
Sorry for ur lost. You'll never forget but ull get stronger as time passes. My mom woke up to my dad having a stroke right next to her. She didn't know what to do except call 911. It was too late when they came. I can imagine her fear even till today, 7yrs later..she is still very depress..

but every day I think to myself why didn't I spend more time with my dad...its even more tragic BC my dad had won a lottery of $100,000 that year(they had always been poor farmers their whole lives)
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 11, 2014 at 2:23 AM
My dad passed 8 years ago in march. He died at home in his sleep me and my sisters were there he was sick and we knew it was going to happen but it didn't make it easier and 8 years later to me seems like yesterday. I'm sorry for your loss and I hope you find peace!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 11, 2014 at 2:27 AM

 Unfortunely it will never be normal again. The pain, hurt, and sorrow will still be there. But it will dull overtime....

Sorry momma, *****Prayers and Hugs*****

jaylinsmom1
by Shannon on Jan. 11, 2014 at 2:29 AM
Thank you all for your kind words. I'm just having a bad night, wish I could talk to my momma!
schatzi869
by Gold Member on Jan. 11, 2014 at 2:30 AM
My mom was 45 when she died on January 29, 2013. It was the day before my baby sister's birthday. Our middle sister went over there and found her in her bed and she wouldn't wake up. She had bread on the table, half a slice had peanut butter on it. The apple jelly was still open. I think she felt like something was "off" so she laid down. The medical examiner said she'd most likely had a seizure and stopped breathing. I ask myself why she didn't call me. I'm certified in First Aid and CPR...and I live five minutes away from her.

A month or so afterward I figured out that my mom's supposed "best friend" was having sleepovers with my dad. It's a year later and she's still around. I want nothing more than to slap both of them because I think they were dating behind my mom's back and pretending to hate each other to cover it up. I also think she was the reason that dad had moved out a month before, leaving my mom and her 930/mo disability to care for herself, pay the 600/mo mortgage, her utilities, and her medicine. Had he not left, he would have been there when my mom had a seizure and he would have been able to call for help.

My son (5) loved my mom and she was his best friend. She'd babysat for him since he was born. He still cries and asks why she had to die and go to Heaven.



Quoting jaylinsmom1: I woke up on February 4, 2013 like every other day. As I sat on my bed holding my 10wk ds and talking to dh about our great super bowl we hosted the night before, I realize I didn't hear my mom talking, she lived with us to help with the kids and her financial situation. I asked dh if she was awake yet and he said no, which was odd bc it was already late in the morning (dh took care of the kids and let me sleep in) and she is usually up by then. I just assumed she was exhausted from the party and staying up late so I didn't pay it no mind. About 5min later dh decided to go to the store so I got up to ask my mom If she needed anything, as soon as I went In the room in knew something was wrong! She was laying half on the bed, her leg began to appear purple. As I went to yell mom why are you laying like that, I started to tap her back. .. it was so hard, my heart stopped! I still remember screaming, my world stopped and I couldn't breath! Idk what happened, how could this happen to such a young person with such a long future ahead of her. My dh picked me up, and called 911 all while trying to calm my children. I don't think they knew what happened, just scared bci was upset. When the coroner and paramedics got there, they had to move her to the floor, her face was not the same, the side was purple. They said she must had passed about an hour after she went to sleep.
I still see her like that in my dreams, ill look over at dh in the middle of the night and see her face. How do I get this to stop! ?! I can never sleep, I'm up all night checking my family to make sure no one else has died. The pain I go through every night is unbearable now. I have tried therapy but it seemed to only make me worse, taking about it brought it all back up over and over again, reliving this breaks my heart every time. I was told I have ptsd but no tools to help me live with it.

The autopsy shows nothing, she was only 46 and pretty healthy. They ruled out as sids for adults. Has anyone heard of this? Did you get any real answers? Have you ever dealt with something similar, losing and finding a loved one like this? Will the pain ever go away? Will I ever be normal again? Her 1 year HEAVENniversary is the 4th, and that's the same day my dad goes for surgery to remove a kidney from cancer. Idk how I will get through the day! My heart is broken and my soul is shattered.

I'm sorry for any typos or mistakes. Thank you for taking the time to read and give some support or answer any questions. Please share any encouragement that I will one day be normal again. I know i posted this a year ago when it happened, but I'm still in the same spot and idkv what to do anymore. Have a good night ladies and again thank you if you made it to the end


*please cherish every moment you have with the ones you love, you never know if today is their (or your) last. *
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)