Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Any one have a similar story

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 7 Replies

I grew up pretty much without parents. My mom and dad split up when I was 1 1/2 years old. My mom had custody of me until I was about 5 or 6 then my dad had custody and my mom had visition rights. My dad didn't care what I did and my mom just wanted a boyfriend. I saw my mom being a slut all my life. She'd hook up with guys to fuck them and flirt with other guys and girls at the same time. Also as soon as she broke up with one guy she would get together with another guy.

Long story short:

I was raped by two different guys (my uncle by marriage and my mom's most recent ex (they were together for almost 7 years)). Neither one of the guys got charged with rape because with the uncle I got sent to my moms in Wshington state (was living in Oregon with my dad) and when I came back I was told too much time had passed. Then with my mom's ex I was traumatized so I didn't want to do a rape kit. Neither one of my parents believed my about the rapes. My mom says I wanted her ex to do it to me. My dad thought I wanted attention with my uncle even though I wrote my aunt 4 notes explaining in detail what he did. My mom thought I made everything up because the last time her ex raped me it was on the couch while I was on my period but since there was no blood nothing happened. I was put in 4 different foster homes from the ages of 13-18. I wish I could go back and put both of those guys in jail for what they did but there is nothing I can. 

I would like someone to talk to that has been through what I have been through or at least something close to what I've been through. I feel like I need help but I don't want to go to a counselor and have them give me some medication or something. I don't know what to do.

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 11, 2014 at 2:54 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-7):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 11, 2014 at 3:02 AM
1 mom liked this
I was raped at 7 and didn't tell til I was 13. The amount of internal damage he did was enough to get me subpeonaed (sp) to his trail (which I'd had no clue about) for molesting another young girl. I was in OH and he was in GA.

When he found out I was coming to testify against him he plead guilty to molestation of the 8 yr old girl and was sent to prison after taking a plea bargain that got him off the hook for my rape. He died in prison not a full year into his sentence.

I spent the next 8 years in therapy. I still have nightmares about it 23 years later.

A therapist isn't going to put you on meds if you don't want it.

How old were you?
ivegotrhythm
by Gold Member on Jan. 11, 2014 at 3:04 AM
1 mom liked this
No advice but, I'm so sorry.
nana776
by on Jan. 11, 2014 at 3:23 AM
1 mom liked this

 I have been through similar experiences, lots of sexual abuse from different males in my family, bounced around from one family member to another until the state stepped in then it was 7 foster homes in 3 years. I know your pain. I also know the fear of going to a therapist. I was afraid that if I told my story, they would think I was crazy and take my son away. I eventually got into therapy after going to support groups. I listened to many women talk about going to therapy and how much it was helping them. I did have to see a couple of them before I found one that I felt comfortable with. And no medications were ever forced on me. I was asked if I felt I needed them, but they accepted it when I said no. Therapy has done wonders for me. I still have a few attachment issues, but otherwise, I feel happy and all of that crap in the past feels more like a movie. I remember it, but there's little emotion attached to it.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 11, 2014 at 3:42 AM
1 mom liked this

It's rough I know I've lived it and although not every story is the same it's the aftermath that leaves us marked. I have never gone to therapy myself .. I haven't found the guts in me to go to be quite honest ... but i've learned to deal with it by focusing on my goals and giving sex a new meaning rather than what it is. I don't do things that make me uncomfortable and I don't put myself in positions where I would feel vulnerable to my past. I've learned to deal with it on my own but I think that once I get a pair of things called balls.. I'll be going to therapy........:) ur not alone <3

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 11, 2014 at 3:45 AM

I sometimes have flash backs of it. I wish I could have put them both away. My moms ex did go to jail for about a month a few months ago for child pornography. I'll be 21 at the end of March

Quoting Anonymous: I was raped at 7 and didn't tell til I was 13. The amount of internal damage he did was enough to get me subpeonaed (sp) to his trail (which I'd had no clue about) for molesting another young girl. I was in OH and he was in GA.

When he found out I was coming to testify against him he plead guilty to molestation of the 8 yr old girl and was sent to prison after taking a plea bargain that got him off the hook for my rape. He died in prison not a full year into his sentence.

I spent the next 8 years in therapy. I still have nightmares about it 23 years later.

A therapist isn't going to put you on meds if you don't want it.

How old were you?


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 11, 2014 at 3:46 AM

I tried therapy once but I felt like it didn't help me much although I feel like I didn't want help then. I don't want to lose my son but I feel like they may take him away if I say that I am depressed and need help. I feel like they will see me as an unfit parent.

Quoting nana776:

 I have been through similar experiences, lots of sexual abuse from different males in my family, bounced around from one family member to another until the state stepped in then it was 7 foster homes in 3 years. I know your pain. I also know the fear of going to a therapist. I was afraid that if I told my story, they would think I was crazy and take my son away. I eventually got into therapy after going to support groups. I listened to many women talk about going to therapy and how much it was helping them. I did have to see a couple of them before I found one that I felt comfortable with. And no medications were ever forced on me. I was asked if I felt I needed them, but they accepted it when I said no. Therapy has done wonders for me. I still have a few attachment issues, but otherwise, I feel happy and all of that crap in the past feels more like a movie. I remember it, but there's little emotion attached to it.


nana776
by on Jan. 11, 2014 at 1:41 PM

 Have you tried going to a rape survivor's support group? They are great, everyone there understands what you are going though and will give you great support. You can even discuss your concerns about therapy there. Just telling your story has a therapeutic effect.

 

Then when you are ready,you can give therapy another try. The only way they would even consider taking your son away is if you are a threat to him or yourself. Just the fact you are going to therapy would show a step in the right direction.

Look at it this way, the longer you stay in this depression, the longer these assholes and what they did, have power over you. The day you start a support group or therapy is the day you start taking back that power. Don't let them have another day.

Quoting Anonymous:

I tried therapy once but I felt like it didn't help me much although I feel like I didn't want help then. I don't want to lose my son but I feel like they may take him away if I say that I am depressed and need help. I feel like they will see me as an unfit parent.

Quoting nana776:

 I have been through similar experiences, lots of sexual abuse from different males in my family, bounced around from one family member to another until the state stepped in then it was 7 foster homes in 3 years. I know your pain. I also know the fear of going to a therapist. I was afraid that if I told my story, they would think I was crazy and take my son away. I eventually got into therapy after going to support groups. I listened to many women talk about going to therapy and how much it was helping them. I did have to see a couple of them before I found one that I felt comfortable with. And no medications were ever forced on me. I was asked if I felt I needed them, but they accepted it when I said no. Therapy has done wonders for me. I still have a few attachment issues, but otherwise, I feel happy and all of that crap in the past feels more like a movie. I remember it, but there's little emotion attached to it.

 

 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN