Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I hid my abortion from my DH

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 56 Replies
1 mom liked this

 

Poll

Question: Would you hide your abortion from your husband if that is what he wanted?

Options:

Yes I would respect his wishes and hide it

No I would tell him anyway

Other because there is always an other


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 57

View Results

After medical problems and having to have my tubal reversed. He had a vasectomy and we talked what would happen just in case I were to get pregnant again...we both agreed on abortion but he said he was scared he would change his mind because he felt too bad so we discussed me just not telling him if it were to happen. We have talked about this several time

Well this was 8 years ago and I found out I was pregnant.I thought I was going through menopause and went to the doctor but I was wrong. I knew what my option was. I really considered telling my husband but thought about all those times we talked about it and wanted to respect what he wanted. So i didnt tell him

Would you have respected his wishes and or not?

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 12, 2014 at 6:53 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
BaronSamedi
by Bronze Member on Jan. 12, 2014 at 7:00 PM

No

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 14, 2014 at 5:30 AM

Yep. The reason is this.  What the hell GOOD would  it do to tell him now?  Not one damn bit.   There is  honesty  and  then there is discretion.  If telling  him  is only  going  to cause  him to feel bad  and  have sleepless  nights  or  anything  negative  then  just   keep it to yourself.  Telling  him  won't bring the fetus back or change anything.   He asked  you  not to tell him. So don't.  Can you  at least do that much?  People talk about brutal honesty.  Well  that would be brutal.  And totally unnecessary. If you need to talk to someone about it  go talk to your religious adviser, Dear Abby,  anybody  but him.

teaspring
by on Jan. 14, 2014 at 5:32 AM

yes

Sunshine257
by Ruby Member on Jan. 14, 2014 at 5:35 AM

No

whovianmum
by Bronze Member on Jan. 14, 2014 at 5:36 AM

Probably not.I would tell him he's not the only one who feels bad and that I could use his support.Just me though,I understand why you made the choice you did.

ChewyBrownies
by Platinum Member on Jan. 14, 2014 at 5:38 AM
Why should i suffer in silence? I need someone to talk to and be strong for me.

I would tell him if i were you.



WifeyandMom71
by Silver Member on Jan. 14, 2014 at 5:40 AM
I'm sorry you went through this.
Didn't he suspect?
i know you can't have sex for a few weeks after right? How did you pull that off?
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 14, 2014 at 5:43 AM

No he didnt suspect

I only bled for 2 days. I had a follow up 7 days after and the doctor okay-ed me for sex. We dont have sex everyday or anything

Quoting WifeyandMom71: I'm sorry you went through this.
Didn't he suspect?
i know you can't have sex for a few weeks after right? How did you pull that off?


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 14, 2014 at 5:43 AM

I dont think I will ever tell him. i also am not suffering in silence though. 

Quoting ChewyBrownies: Why should i suffer in silence? I need someone to talk to and be strong for me.

I would tell him if i were you.




Mocha.Maya.Me
by on Jan. 14, 2014 at 5:44 AM
2 moms liked this

 I'm sorry. I would have talked with him about it at the time.   While he might have been scared he'd change his mind, he's a grown man and we both made the fetus/baby/child.   That means both have to be adult and address the fact it did in fact happen, and as such both should consider what they would like to do at that time.   Not push all the responsibility off on the woman.

It's called being married adults in a mutual give and take,  with shared responsibilities even in hard times,  through both love and heartache,  relationship.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)