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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I told my husband to take the job or move out

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 47 Replies
1 mom liked this
about 3 months ago my husband lost his job. he looked for another job and could only find one. The problem with the job was that he would be working weekends only which is when he has his kids. He spoke with his ex about it and she was unwilling to change the visitation agreement to allow him to have the kids during the weekdays. So obviously the job wasn't ideal. We did some budgeting and realize that if I picked up one extra shift every two weeks we could make ends meet.hhe gets unemployment which is pretty much just enough to cover his child support and his car payment. He tried to get a child support lowered he was unsuccessful because the judge did not believe he could not get a job which really was true he was offered a job working 12-16 hours a day Friday through Sunday which would be full time. we agreed that since he would stay at home and I would work he would do all the housework he would also be responsible for doing the carpooling and other things that I usually do on my days off. I started to notice that the housework wasn't getting done I understood that he's never been a stay at home dad before so cut him a little slack. But then I noticed that he really wasn't making dinner most nights we would either have to take out or frozen food. Now of course I help on my days off but it will end up being that I was working 12 hour shifts meaning I was gone for about 15 hours 3 to 4 days a week so on days I work I expected to not have to do anything. about a month ago I realized that I was doing 90 percent of the laundry coming home and doing a lot of housework and then as I said he wasn't really cooking. So I had to have a sit down conversation with him about the fact that he was not pulling his weight and its not fair. Things got better the laundry was done dinner was always nice and house with at least relatively clean I really appreciated that. Then I had a conversation with my 16 year old daughter who told me that she didn't think it was fair how much house work she was expected to do. I was a bit confused because to my knowledge she wasn't really expecting to do any housework with the exception of keeping her room clean, keeping the bathroom that she uses with her brothers clean and doing the dishes three nights a week. She explained to me that for the past month or so her step father has been telling her that she supposed to do a lot more.housework. She's been doing three to four loads of laundry a day on the days I'm working she was it has been making dinner most of those nights and she has been running carpool for my children my younger children at least once a week. she said she didn't want to complain because she knows how hard I've been working in that I'm tired. So anyway I talk to my husband and I asked him why he's been having daughter doing this he said that he felt that she should have to chip in. I told him that the chores that I've already given her chipping enough she goes to school full timewell he sits at home and all he has to do is the housework the laundry and cooking but apparently he's pushing most of this off on my daughter.. It's not fair to my children to be expected to give up time with their mother and I do his job while he sits around and watches TV. I knew that the job that he was originally offered was still available as it was offered by a friend of his I talked to him about taking it. He said he still didn't want to take it because that would mean giving up time with his kids. This got me very angry since I'm picking up extra time at work taking with some time with my children but apparently he doesn't think he should have to miss time with his. I told him that he either needs to take the job and start pulling his weight financially and around the house we're going to separate. I have my own three children to take care of and I don't think its right that I have to take care of a fourth plus his kids.
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 15, 2014 at 11:50 AM
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Replies (1-10):
ivegotrhythm
by Gold Member on Jan. 15, 2014 at 11:55 AM
7 moms liked this
I agree with you.

You've actually put up with way more than I would have.
shineyllamatues
by on Jan. 15, 2014 at 11:59 AM

Go momma! When you have kids that aren't your DH's then you have to be willing to put them before your DH when he is being selfish.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 15, 2014 at 12:00 PM
Quoting ivegotrhythm: I agree with you.

You've actually put up with way more than I would have.
thanks I get him wanting time with his kids but can't come at the expense of me and my kids. Now I'm working really really hard right now and it just seems like nothing has change for him except for instead of going to work he gets to lay around the house.
Elle.tea.22
by Ruby Member on Jan. 15, 2014 at 12:02 PM
Agreed
ivegotrhythm
by Gold Member on Jan. 15, 2014 at 12:04 PM
That's what it sounds like.

And if he wants to see his kids on weeknights he can ask the court if their mom says no. Honestly it sounds like an excuse to not take the job


Quoting Anonymous:
Quoting ivegotrhythm: I agree with you.



You've actually put up with way more than I would have.


thanks I get him wanting time with his kids but can't come at the expense of me and my kids. Now I'm working really really hard right now and it just seems like nothing has change for him except for instead of going to work he gets to lay around the house.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 15, 2014 at 12:04 PM
Good for you!!! I think its donkey shit that its ok for you to give up time with your kids so he can sit on his ass and do nothing so he doesnt miss 2 days with his kids. He could easily ask the court to move his visitation days since x is not willing to compromise.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 15, 2014 at 12:04 PM
What sucks too is it seems he was taking credit for your dd. you didnt exactly say but thats how it sounded.
aprilsalcro
by Platinum Member on Jan. 15, 2014 at 12:05 PM
Do you have him children together?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
ivegotrhythm
by Gold Member on Jan. 15, 2014 at 12:06 PM
Yeah, this too!

Quoting Anonymous: What sucks too is it seems he was taking credit for your dd. you didnt exactly say but thats how it sounded.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jan. 15, 2014 at 12:07 PM
Wow no offence he sounds like an ass
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