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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

For the first time I want to smack my child

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 10 Replies
My daughter is 13. I am going through a divorce, and she is angry about it. Were trying to work through it.

I got a call today from another parent. She told me that my dd has been bullying her child for a few weeks. She's been pushing and hitting the other girl in the hallway, calling her names, making fun of her clothing, stealing her things, telling people the girl is a hoe. Today she broke the girls project on the school bus causing her to get a bad grade. My dd has turned all the other girls friends against her and the other girl is sad about it.

I had no idea this was going on and I'm not one to stand by and let her become a bully. I want to smack her! I'm so angry! She isn't home yet but I don't even know what to do.

We usually take away her laptop or privileges as grounding but It doesn't seem to be severe enough. Advice?
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 16, 2014 at 3:47 PM
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Replies (1-10):
tiniowien
by on Jan. 16, 2014 at 3:48 PM

You could do the old take everything but her bed and clothes out of her room for awhile 

definecorrupt
by on Jan. 16, 2014 at 3:52 PM
1 mom liked this

Make her wear a tshirt to school that says "Im sorry for being a bully"

bleumonster
by Ruby Member on Jan. 16, 2014 at 3:53 PM
Ground her from everything, including friends for a month or longer. No afterschool activities either. Make her write a letter to the teacher of the girls project, telling her what she did and asking for the girl to get a better grade. Have her volunteer somewhere every weekend for at least a month. Go with her to the principal to confess and take her punishment.
eyes_on_jesus
by Member on Jan. 16, 2014 at 4:04 PM
I would take away all her "cute" clothes and buy her some goofy looking clothes from the goodwill and make her wear tem to school! She'll have no reason to pick on anyone...and maybe someone will pick on her to make her feel how it feels.

Also I would drive my daughter to this young girl's house and make her apologize to her and her mother for being a bully. And then make her invite them over for dinner and board games and make her get to know the girl!
mcginnisc
by *Claire-Bear* on Jan. 16, 2014 at 4:05 PM

Oh....wow...she is obviously dealing with some rage and taking it out on this poor girl. 

A few things I personally would do: 

She would apologize profusely to this girl.

I would ask the girl's mother for the name of the teacher and contact the teacher about the project. I would explain to the teacher what happened and ask if the girl could redo the project...on top of that, I would ask the teacher to assign my daughter an extra project to do for no grade

She would have no electronics except for school work. Period. 

She would be made to volunteer in some way shape or form regarding bullying. 

She would replace anything she stole and would give something of hers in return. 

At that point, DH would chime in with his own creative punishments I'm sure. 

I'm so sorry that you are having to deal with this. 

Claire


" I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13 

LadyVoldemort
by on Jan. 16, 2014 at 4:06 PM
1 mom liked this
This. And if you can, parent shadow for a few hours

Quoting eyes_on_jesus: I would take away all her "cute" clothes and buy her some goofy looking clothes from the goodwill and make her wear tem to school! She'll have no reason to pick on anyone...and maybe someone will pick on her to make her feel how it feels.



Also I would drive my daughter to this young girl's house and make her apologize to her and her mother for being a bully. And then make her invite them over for dinner and board games and make her get to know the girl!
Danesmommy1
by Grammar Enthusiast on Jan. 16, 2014 at 4:08 PM
At least take her to apologize and make her explain the messed up project to the girl's teacher.
mamabear55
by on Jan. 16, 2014 at 4:09 PM
1 mom liked this

Cattle prod. Follow her around school, but don't let her see you!

everytime she says something mean, poke her with the cattle prod and go back into hiding, 

she'll quit soon.

LadyVoldemort
by on Jan. 16, 2014 at 4:09 PM
I know divorce is hard, I went through it as a child as well but this is not the way to cope. I'd get get into therapy or something.
JanineDeer
by Janine on Jan. 16, 2014 at 4:10 PM

Well, in THIS case, I think you need to HUG this girl HARD when she comes home... and pour our your own feelings...... "oh my girl.... I have not stopped to think HOW MUCH THIS IS HURTING YOU.... I am getting these reports about your behaviour and I'm heartbroken.. I do not know what to do to help you! I don't know how we are going to get thru this.....  I don't know what I can do"

Try that first,  it might break down some barriers because kids SUFFER a LOT in divorces.  A LOT.   Who does she blame for the breakup? you?  her father?  You have to get her to talk.

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