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Help with a hard decision. (Bonus if you don't want to be helpful you can tell me how stupid I am!)

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
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1 mom liked this

All I've ever wanted to do when I became an adult is be a Doctor, not a world class surgeon or a nurse or anything like that just a regular old GP. I had at one point fresh out of high school a partial scholarship to a very nice college in my city but thanks to some stupid laws as soon as my family moved out of state I was considered an out of state applicant and my tuition nearly tripled. Obviously I had to forgo the dream for a bit because I'd just been abandoned and was too young to get my own apartment without a cosign not to mention I had no car and no job, so I started couch surfing and got a job as a waitress and started saving (then I lost my job and was stiffed my last few pay checks because the place closed with absolutely no warning) so I could go to school but then I stupidly got pregnant. My DH (who was my boyfriend as the time) was living with me because I couldn't pay the bills alone, he joined the military and I decided it would be easier to stay home with the baby for a bit while he did Basic and went to school and all of that stuff. So skip forward to know, I'm 24 (about to be 25), I have two kids, we're debt free, my family is happy, and now my kids are starting school and it's time for me to think of what I can do with myself. If I go for the program I want all I will be doing is studying, when will I see my family, how selfish of me is it? Or, I could sacrifice my dream and go for something in demand that would make enough to supplement my DH's income and keep us all financially secure. Or I could forgo college all together and just get a service job to supplement our income. 

I guess what I'm having trouble with is the knowledge that for my families sake I need to give up a dream I've held very close to my heart for my entire life. It's just a very real struggle because I have to watch all of my siblings who my parents didn't kick out and don't mind helping for some reason, I have to watch them all pursue things they love and they are all graduating top of their class. I could have done that, I could still do that with a bit of brushing up but I know it would be unfair to my kids and husband.

Whatever. No one is going to read this anyway. I'm going to go have a little cry and then do chores, and then I'll go send out some job applications since I know in my heart that's the best way to get some financial stability for us.

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 16, 2014 at 4:03 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 16, 2014 at 4:05 PM

 try and do both

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 16, 2014 at 4:06 PM
3 moms liked this
You are still young. Medical school is not out of reach.
suzanneyea
by on Jan. 16, 2014 at 4:06 PM

I will be honest. I don't think you can be a good mother and a full time student, especially in. Medical school. Medical school is a full time job, your family will suffer. 


Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 16, 2014 at 4:07 PM
Always go the education route!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 16, 2014 at 4:08 PM

I know it is, I didn't even plan on dating while I was in college because I wanted to devote my entire self to my studies. Now that I have a family though I agree that I think they would suffer to much if I followed what I want. I know that not everyone gets to follow their dreams, most people work jobs they hate but it's still painful to let it go.

Quoting suzanneyea:

I will be honest. I don't think you can be a good mother and a full time student, especially in. Medical school. Medical school is a full time job, your family will suffer. 



Not_A_Native
by Emerald Member on Jan. 16, 2014 at 4:08 PM
2 moms liked this

You COULD go to college and medical school.  You'd be studying a lot yes, but you could still make time for your kids.  No, not every day - but your kids are getting older.  They really DON'T need you as much.

I say go for your dream - you don't want to be 50, and resenting your husband for something YOU decided.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 16, 2014 at 4:09 PM

Well I guess now the problem is, what do I do? I've been told I'd make an excellent kindergarten teacher.

Quoting Anonymous: Always go the education route!


wagners7
by on Jan. 16, 2014 at 4:09 PM
6 moms liked this

Why not a compromise and go to Nursing School or PA School?  Could still make a good living, help people, help your family and have a fulfulling career that is portable as a military spouse.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 16, 2014 at 4:10 PM

I wouldn't resent him for my own decision, he has been pushing me to do the medical program. If I don't try the onus will be on me and me alone.

Quoting Not_A_Native:

You COULD go to college and medical school.  You'd be studying a lot yes, but you could still make time for your kids.  No, not every day - but your kids are getting older.  They really DON'T need you as much.

I say go for your dream - you don't want to be 50, and resenting your husband for something YOU decided.


joci2203
by on Jan. 16, 2014 at 4:10 PM
I would go for it. I turned down an undergraduate program in Physiology at the UofA medical school to support the family while my husband finished his degree. I regret it, and I am hoping one day to fulfill that dream for myself.
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