Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

unsupportive birth partner

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 13 Replies
I am currently 17 weeks pregnant with my second baby. My first delivery I was 18, uneducated, and terrified. I had a easy 9 hour labor and delivery with an epidural. I only got the epidural because my doctor said "I needed to relax". This time around, im extremely excited to do a natural birth. I wanted a water birth but the hospital doesn't have tubs :( Anyway, my fiance keeps telling me I'm "not normal", "over the top", and generally just poking fun at me whenever I discuss my birth plan or labor. He also keeps telling me Im going to have a 10lb baby just to try and freak me out. I'm extremely confident in myself and my body, and I'm 100% comfortable and content with my birth plan. However, I'm growing irritated with my fiance being goofy, unsupportive, and borderline mean. I want to feel I can count on him to be there for me and to cheer me on. I've tried telling him all this and his rebuttal is that since I'm going natural I'm probably going to just "rip his head off" and "be grumpy" the whole time, so he wants me drugged up. idk, im doing this with or without his support, it just makes me kind of sad that he's being so unsupportive when he's normally extremely supportive and positive :(
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 16, 2014 at 7:06 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
LadyVoldemort
by on Jan. 16, 2014 at 7:07 PM
Tell him to be supportive or he's not welcome in the room. But I'm mean like that.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 16, 2014 at 7:07 PM
1 mom liked this

Hire a Doula. Tell him if he continues to be unsupportive, he will be booted from the delivary room and you and the Doula ill be fine without him.

lucydiamond
by LD on Jan. 16, 2014 at 7:08 PM
1 mom liked this
Get a birth doula.
daisybaby91
by on Jan. 16, 2014 at 7:09 PM


Quoting Anonymous:

Hire a Doula. Tell him if he continues to be unsupportive, he will be booted from the delivary room and you and the Doula ill be fine without him.

DarksMama
by Ruby Member on Jan. 16, 2014 at 7:13 PM

Kick him in the zatch and then tell him that he's being over the top and grumpy and you'd rather he get himself drugged up to make you happy. LMAO

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 16, 2014 at 7:13 PM
my aunt is an amazing doula and is planning to attend the birth. so im really happy ill have that support. I just wish I could count on my fiance to be strong and comforting during labor. he's normally SO positive and supportive, and encourages me to do what makes me happy. I don't understand why this decision is causing him to act the way he is.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 16, 2014 at 7:16 PM

Doula

JackieGirl007
by on Jan. 16, 2014 at 7:18 PM

My ex was the worst. He told me that the pain was all in my head. I was so quiet, not even freaking out or screaming or anything, just trying to breathe, but when he said that I wanted to kill him. I didn't speak to him for the rest of my labor.

Have you tried talking to him about what your needs are?

jessica4212011
by Silver Member on Jan. 16, 2014 at 7:18 PM

Child birth should be about the mother and the baby. Its your experience and its great to have the dad there and be supportive even if he doesn't agree with how U want to give birth. Don't let him turn it around on him just to make him happy. My first I had an epidural it worked great and was a "quiet" good birth. My second I wanted a natural one too. I could tell he was getting annoyed at me with all the crying and yelling but natural child birth freakin hurts. It hurt my feeling to see him act like that. But in the end he kind of got his way I had to go in for an emergency c-section, which they knocked me out for. Good luck with urs and congratulations on the new baby.

MrsCain12
by on Jan. 16, 2014 at 7:23 PM
Girl, you're stronger than me. I'm 19.5 weeks with my first and after all the birth videos I've seen I want an epidural. Haha. As far as your DF, I'm with the others. Tell him to make a choice. Support you or don't come in. Also, if the hospital doesn't have a birthing tub, I think you may be able to buy one and bring it with you. Good luck. :)
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)