Yup.. Still a horrible person. *really small update*
I wouldn't hang out with my friend if her husband was around. We stopped our bi-weekly dinners (I used being busy with work & the holidays as an excuse.) I wouldn't say more than a simple hello if I saw him out somewhere. I tried to forget about him.
Then she called today and asked if we wanted to come over for dinner, the kids missed each other etc. I agreed because I knew she was right & I thought I was over it. I was wrong. I saw him & we talked like always and it all came rushing back.
Yes there is a lot more to this than I can type on my phone. No, nothing inappropriate has happened and I don't think he knows.
I just feel like an ass..
**We ended up talking yesterday for a few minutes when I stopped to pick up something my dh had left at their place. The bond is just... There. There's no denying it. I don't think my feelings are mutual, which is ok. Although I laid awake all night last night pondering it, I just couldn't sleep. But I swear, if I could just be hugged by that man once a day for the rest of my life, I would be a happier woman. It was so.. Comfortable? We've been texting a bit today, nothing crazy, just venting. Misery loves company I suppose. Thank you to all the women who took the time to actually talk this out with me, it was refreshing and somewhat eye opening.