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I am not going to beg my children to come with me when I leave my husband

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 12 Replies

And no I dont feel bad about it. If they want to move with me they will if not they will stay with their dad. Apparently this means I am the worst mother in the world. My husband and I are just not working out. We have a ton of issues, we fight all the time, and neither one of us are happy. 

I have been putting plans in place to move out and file. I was telling my sister and she asked what I was going to about the kids. I told her it was going to be up to them. I am not going to force them to "pick sides" they can move to my new house or they can stay with their dad it will be up to them. They are 16, 17, and 17 so even if I tried to beg them to come with me it is legally up to them anyway.  Of course I would love it if theym came with me part of the time at least but even not I will still find time to see them. They are all almost adults anyway capable of making their own decisions. 

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 20, 2014 at 6:23 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 20, 2014 at 6:25 AM

if he is a good father then it shouldn't be an issue who they stay with.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 20, 2014 at 6:26 AM

It isnt an issue. He is a great father. If he wasnt it would be different 

Quoting Anonymous:

if he is a good father then it shouldn't be an issue who they srah with.


JenB1983
by Platinum Member on Jan. 20, 2014 at 6:36 AM
That's great that you are letting them decide. :-) When my mom left my dad(completely unexpectedly) she informed my brothers that they were movin with her. They were 15 and 17 at the time and flat out told her no. She was the one that decided to leave, they were staying put with our dad. Period. She was upset, but eventually realized that she couldn't force the issue.
rosemagic01
by Ruby Member on Jan. 20, 2014 at 6:45 AM
1 mom liked this

No reason to put them through hell and battle over them at this stage of the game they are old enough and dad is a good to them then its their choice. Its going to be hard all around your making the right choice not forcing them to choose. Just let them know your door is open no matter what and leave it at that. 

minermanswife
by Member on Jan. 20, 2014 at 6:47 AM
They are old enough to choose.
TB78
by Tasha on Jan. 20, 2014 at 6:47 AM
Wait a minute! According to your sister You are the Worst Mom because You didn't Force your Children to decide btwn you and their Father?? Yep She is an Idiot!!
You are the best mom because you told them that if they wanted to they could live with you or stay with him and you will continue seeing them.
Momsold
by on Jan. 21, 2014 at 7:51 AM

My friend's mother made her kids choose.  One has a relationship with her because she babysites her brat kids.

The other two will speak to her when she calls but that's about it.  They don't go out of their way to maintain a relationship.

I think it's excellent that you're giving them that ability to choose.

misskriss10
by Platinum Member on Jan. 21, 2014 at 7:53 AM
I agree with you. They are old enough to make their own decisions and if their father is good to them then I see no issue.
LaDulceVida
by Bronze Member on Jan. 21, 2014 at 7:55 AM
It is good you allow them to decide. My mom is moving to Arizona next month (from Wisconsin) and forcing my 16 year old sister to go with even though she would rather stay here with her father.
couponleigh
by Bronze Member on Feb. 8, 2014 at 7:55 AM

them choosing their dad does NOT mean you are the worst mother in the world. they are teenagers and unpredictable. they might first choose their dad then realize how much they miss you or how things are with you and change their minds. 

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