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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

When you give your kids "the talk" ....?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 11 Replies

did you/will you preach abstinence until marriage to you kids?  If so did you wait until marriage?

I did not wait until marriage but will encourage them to wait until marriage.

One of my friends told me that she told her 13 year old DD that she needs to "test drive" the man before marrying him because if she doesn't then she could get stuck with a guy that is bad in bed.  The fact that she did that really surprised me, especially since they seem like a very conservative family.  Maybe she's speaking from personal experience...   

I personally would never tell my kids that and am telling them I think they should wait even though we didn't.

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 21, 2014 at 5:18 PM
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Replies (1-10):
3JuJu3
by Platinum Member on Jan. 21, 2014 at 5:25 PM
1 mom liked this

I would strongly encourage my kids to wait until they were old enough to handle a sexual relationship.  I'm not sure how old this is, but for me it was right after high school in college.  I'll be as honest as I can with all of the good and the bad.  But to be honest, I'd rather my kids had sex at 18 than get married at 18.  That seems like a bigger mistake. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 21, 2014 at 5:28 PM
I will encourage her to wait until marriage, but I will also be realistic and tell her that if she chooses to not wait for some reason, then she should come to me so I could provide her with proper measures. I didn't wait until I was married...then again my dad and stepmom never really had the talk with me to encourage me to wait.
catwalkw
by Bronze Member on Jan. 21, 2014 at 5:32 PM

For me, and my kids...the discussion was an ongoing one.

I began VERY early, when my 2 oldest sons, saw a diaper change of my daughter...and asked, "Why is her 'fanny' in the front?"  lol

The house then began to resound with talk of penis's (or is it penii?) and vagina's.  That laid the foundation for MANY talks...about MANY issues related to bodies and sexuality.

They would ask questions.  I would answer as honestly and age appropriately as I could.

Best!

B1Bomber
by Platinum Member on Jan. 21, 2014 at 5:34 PM

I don't plan to have a single "talk" so much as an ongoing discussion of age-appropriate sexuality.

I will encourage my sons to wait for marriage, as it is part of our religious value system, and I (and my husband) waited.

If they don't, well, they will be adults and able to make their own choices, good or bad.

3JuJu3
by Platinum Member on Jan. 21, 2014 at 5:34 PM

 That's how my then 4 year old son learned how males and females were different.  He asked me why does she have a "front butt."  I tried to be as straightforward in an age appropriate way using correct terminology.  Somehow they still say "boobs" though. 

Quoting catwalkw:

For me, and my kids...the discussion was an ongoing one.

I began VERY early, when my 2 oldest sons, saw a diaper change of my daughter...and asked, "Why is her 'fanny' in the front?"  lol

The house then began to resound with talk of penis's (or is it penii?) and vagina's.  That laid the foundation for MANY talks...about MANY issues related to bodies and sexuality.

They would ask questions.  I would answer as honestly and age appropriately as I could.

Best!

 

xredstarsx
by Gold Member on Jan. 21, 2014 at 5:35 PM
The talk is ongoing at my house and my dd is only 4. When we get to that part I would tell her the pros and cons to both. My main concern is being old enough to deal with the consequences. I waited until I was 18, had graduated high school and had a job. I would love for my kids to follow suit but if they don't they will know that they can come to me for help.
Metal13Mama
by Platinum Member on Jan. 21, 2014 at 5:37 PM
This.

Quoting 3JuJu3:

I would strongly encourage my kids to wait until they were old enough to handle a sexual relationship.  I'm not sure how old this is, but for me it was right after high school in college.  I'll be as honest as I can with all of the good and the bad.  But to be honest, I'd rather my kids had sex at 18 than get married at 18.  That seems like a bigger mistake. 

BasementKitteh
by on Jan. 21, 2014 at 5:37 PM

I intend to do what I did with my oldest niece because it did work... in a manner of speaking. She at least took some advice.

I told her that she should wait until she is married to be with them sexually because the whole virginity thing is like a gift... however, if she chooses not to wait, use protection. And I really emphasized that one. Her mother had her at age 17. I got pregnant with both of mine out of wedlock but I was also 24 when my oldest was born... on the verge of being 25. I don't say my actions are better and in retrospect I really should have waited until I was married... but hell I got some great kids out of it :)

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 21, 2014 at 5:37 PM
I don't see anything wrong with sexual exploration. I do not push for marriage first. I do stress the importance of protecting against STDs though.
MommaRose3
by Member on Jan. 21, 2014 at 5:38 PM
I first had the talk w my children when they first entered puberty. I encourage them to wait until marriage or at least college. I impress upon them the importance of respecting themselves and only sharing that special experience with someone loving and respectful. I had the talk again whenever they had a long lasting semi serious relationship or said or acted in a way that made me think hmmmm are u thinking sex. The talk should be given much more than one
time. No I would never tell my DD to test drive her man. Because great sex will happen with the right person at the right time. And can be worked on within the marriage.
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