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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Why is everyone making me feel so guilty!?

Posted by on Jan. 23, 2014 at 9:05 AM
  • 587 Replies
6 moms liked this
I made a post about my baby and finding out that he has trisomy 18, I did get quite a bit of support in there that I'm so thankful for :) I got websites, blogs and a video. They helped a lot and I learned about the different forms and that some can be less severe. You guys really gave me hope and I appreciate that!!

Thankfully my fiancé and family are very supportive! My family only lives 1/2 mile away so they stop by, my sister babysits the kids I watch (their mother obviously knows her and agreed) while I have my appts and my dad calls every night to see if little 'gray gray' is moving that day and my mother calls and texts to make sure I'm okay. I love it

My problem is the drs. The specialists that told me to terminate couldn't just accept that it goes against my beliefs. I honestly can understand why people do do it, especially early on. It is so stressful whether you get a cramp or the baby doesn't move like they normally do I wanna jump in the car and head to the drs. Thankfully so far I've talked myself through it and he gives me a little kick (or punch) to say 'I'm still here mom!' But you worry all the time that your baby has passed.

But I accept that, it's part of their job and I'm sure they deal with it all the time. Now yesterday I took my son to his psychiatrist and explained to her that he's been doing great and has been controlling his aggression very well and explained what was going on. She sent him outside and said well, if this baby does survive he will have a lot of problems. This won't just be hard on you but kristian too. You should really terminate. Have you even researched this? I said yes, I read about it every night. I told her no, we're not terminating and she said well, I don't know what else to say but good luck! My god who is this lady to tell me this!!! I think she totally over stepped and my son will not be seeing her anymore!
by on Jan. 23, 2014 at 9:05 AM
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Replies (1-10):
kristiansmommy1
by Amanda on Jan. 23, 2014 at 9:09 AM
Bump!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jan. 23, 2014 at 9:10 AM
27 moms liked this

I think you'll soon have a better understanding of why the medical professionals are making their suggestions...

Not_A_Native
by Ruby Member on Jan. 23, 2014 at 9:11 AM
26 moms liked this

I'm sorry, but I think she was giving you her professional opinion, as your child's mental health provider.  Something like that WILL be hard on your child.

MamatoKy
by Platinum Member on Jan. 23, 2014 at 9:12 AM

 The survival rate is not that high, but its possible for the child to live up to about 10 years old. Good Luck to you! I hope everything turns out ok! =)

pinkfairy0206
by on Jan. 23, 2014 at 9:12 AM
1 mom liked this
I can't say what I would do if i was in your position. I guess your doctor is supposed to give you that option because of the hard road ahead?? Again I've never been through this so im just guessing. As far as your other child's dr that is DEFINITELY over stepping her boundary and shouldbe ashamed. Maybe complain?? I aagree dont take your child back to her. Its great to hear you have your family by your side:) thats rare unfortunately!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 23, 2014 at 9:14 AM
4 moms liked this
I think she was just thinking in the best interests of your son. I am pro life too but i wouldn't want to trap my child in a defective body, or make my other child suffer.
OvenInUse
by Gold Member on Jan. 23, 2014 at 9:14 AM
11 moms liked this
They've made their suggestions. She's done the research and made the decision. Now it's time for them to let it go.

Quoting Anonymous:

I think you'll soon have a better understanding of why the medical professionals are making their suggestions...

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kristiansmommy1
by Amanda on Jan. 23, 2014 at 9:14 AM
3 moms liked this
I do get why the obgyns talk about it but from a psychiatrist, because it will be hard? I'm too far along in my own opinion. Didn't they used to treat Down's syndrome like this? And now look at some of the people with it...I saw a guy on the news with it a few weeks ago that owns his own restaurant!

Quoting Anonymous:

I think you'll soon have a better understanding of why the medical professionals are making their suggestions...

Charley427
by Bronze Member on Jan. 23, 2014 at 9:15 AM
5 moms liked this
First I am so sorry you and your family are going through this but I am glad you have so much support. But as for others like the drs and your sons therapist they sometimes only see percentages and medical facts and can't see the emotional feelings and such. And often times this makes their statements cold and matter of fact. I hope that your little one keeps going strong. Prayers coming your way.
Cbreland07
by Ruby Member on Jan. 23, 2014 at 9:16 AM
39 moms liked this
Because in today's society if a baby isn't perfect they aren't worth keeping since it's so easy to kill them and try for perfection.
Ppl can't understand loving their baby no matter what and giving then every chance at life.
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