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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

My confession: I'm probably not fit to be a mother....

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 33 Replies

I get so fed up with S/O not helping and I sometimes take it out on DS(2yrs)

Backstory:

After becoming a SAHM a few months ago, I constantly feel like I'm not doing my fair share...S/O works full time, nights 35-45hrs a week. So I feel guilty asking him for help or saying I need a break. But my patience is wearing so thin lately....DS and I never get out of the house anymore except grocery shopping every other week, since we don't have a car and its in the single digits here. Since S/O works nights (which is from about 3/4 till 1am at the latest) he stays up to "unwind" till 6am and sleeps till he has to get up for work again. While he's asleep, its my job to make sure DS doesn't climb all over him and wake him up (which is near impossible with a toddler) Even on his days off, he sleeps half the day and it seems like I have to beg him to give DS any attention and after maybe 2hrs he needs a break and I have to keep DS from bothering him again...DS is going through this very clingy and figety (at the same time) stage and I just need a break, just a few hours to myself for a change....today I had to put DS in his crib with some toys so I could get a few minutes in the shower before I screamed at him... :( I felt so guilty afterwards that I didn't finish my shower and got out and just hugged him for 5min....I just can't seem to keep my patience in check lately and Idk what to do about it....


UPDATE:

I guess I kinda turned S/O into a bit of a monster, in my moment of frustration. I should probably say that he really is a decent guy, just the last few months he hasn't been as interactive with our son...Also, I've seen some GREAT responses on here. Thank you so much everyone for the support! It really helped me feel better about it all and I'm gonna try and bring it up with SO on his next day off.

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 23, 2014 at 10:59 AM
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Replies (1-10):
B1Bomber
by Ruby Member on Jan. 23, 2014 at 11:02 AM
4 moms liked this

That's normal, momma. We all go through the stages where we just need to be left alone without little hands touching us and little voices calling us. Putting him safely in his crib so you can shower is pretty much the most appropriate way to handle things - good job.

amandacr1026
by Silver Member on Jan. 23, 2014 at 11:05 AM
1 mom liked this

You need time to yourself. don't feel guilty about it just admit it. its ok. I go thru the same with my daughter. she's a year old and can be very clingy at times. I do sit and hold her and we read books and cuddle but there are just times when I have to get other things done and I ignore her when she's reaching to be held. I'll put her in her play corner with all her toys and get done what I need to do. You need to find someone.. a friend, babysitter, family, that can take him maybe once a week or so so that you can have that one day to do whatever.. be it catching up around the house, going and doing shopping.. or just sleeping! trust me.. that one day may be your saving grace.

mrs_patterson
by on Jan. 23, 2014 at 11:08 AM
1 mom liked this

We've all been there. Look into a mother's day out program to give yourself a break :) EVERYBODY needs breaks, don't feel bad at all...and as far as your DH, yes he works nights, but that doesn't give him license to not be a dad and help out with his kid. He should be more than willing to help you out and make sure that you get some time to yourself as well. Or, you could ask a friend/family member to babysit for a few hours while you take a break. Chin up, mama! It gets better :) 

SaraA_1989
by on Jan. 23, 2014 at 11:10 AM
So you reproduced with a douche bag?
vegaswife2011
by LMAO on Jan. 23, 2014 at 11:11 AM

Hugs mama, you're normal. 

Alyia72
by Gold Member on Jan. 23, 2014 at 11:12 AM

Its normal to need a break.. We have two year old triplets and my hubby works 10-14 hour days sometimes 7 days a week.  He used to work midnight's then changed to 2nd shift and now finally on days and its gotten a lot better.  But when he did work nights he slept all day even on his days off because that's his schedule.   Its really hard to change your sleep schedule for a few days just because you have a day off.  Hang in there it could be a lot worse lol you could have three two year old's fighting and screaming and a neighbor that bangs on the wall at your kids constantly when her own kids are just as noisy.  You did the right thing by putting your child in a safe place and taking a break we all have to do it at times. Things have changed a lot for us just by him moving to day shift hes home to eat dinner with us and help with bedtime.  But I have to take care of three wild 2 year old's all day while hes at work as well as helping our 9 year old with her online schooling that takes up a huge amount of my time.  We make it work and struggle through the rough times at times I feel like I am going to literally loose my mind like last night when two of them got up at 2 am when I had just fell asleep to play trampoline on mommy's bed ALL NIGHT lol.. Hang in there though the twos can be rough but I hear the 3s and 4s are worse lol we never had terrible twos or threes or fours with our eldest.

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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 23, 2014 at 11:13 AM

Thank you. I think it just bothered me how close I got to taking it out on him. And I have once or twice in the past. I'd never get violent, but the thought of yelling at him for something that's not his fault, makes me feel terrile. and I know he knew I was frustrated when I put him in his crib. He cried for the 1st couple minutes before he just gave up.

Quoting B1Bomber:

That's normal, momma. We all go through the stages where we just need to be left alone without little hands touching us and little voices calling us. Putting him safely in his crib so you can shower is pretty much the most appropriate way to handle things - good job.


Kermitthemom23
by Silver Member on Jan. 23, 2014 at 11:13 AM
1 mom liked this
Normal. And being a sahm is also a big adjustment in the begining.
jaycam
by on Jan. 23, 2014 at 11:17 AM

The way your feeling is normal. A lot of people but down a sahm saying we have it so easy when we don't. We do everything when it comes to the house, the kids, the bills and all the shopping with no help. If we're sick we have to suck it up and still do everything home wise. Even when I was a working mom I still did everything. Everyone sahm or working moms we all need help at times and we all need a break from time to time. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 23, 2014 at 11:21 AM
I've been doing this for 4 years, it doesn't get easier, but it's normal to feel like this, everyone else wants to act like their life is perfect, they have perfect kids, they love every second of being at home with their kids... It's all bs, do we love our kids? Of course! Do we appreciate being able to watch them grow? Absolutely, but we are human... We need adult com ersations and quiet time just as much as the dads do, we just go without and turn a bit bitter, it will be over by the time the kids are in school full time and that is when we will be able to finally get a moment to ourselves!
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