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Do you feel like you asked your spouse the right questions before you got married?

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Question: Do you feel like you asked your spouse the right questions before you got married?


Yes- There have been no surprises!

No- I can’t believe the things I didn’t know about my spouse!

Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 179

View Results

by on Jan. 23, 2014 at 11:21 AM
Replies (31-40):
by Sapphire Member on Jan. 23, 2014 at 1:00 PM

I answered yes. Honestly though I don't think I ever really asked him anything we were engaged within 4wks of knowing each other, moved in together 3 mo's after knowing him, had our baby 13wks after knowing each other (although not bio his was 5 mo' s preg. when we met), married only knowing each other 10 1/2mo's.  and Pregnant again 2 mo's after our wedding. 

by Anonymous 8 on Jan. 23, 2014 at 1:01 PM
1 mom liked this
I can't really answer the question. I knew him, like secret wise, sexual partners, criminal past that sort of thing. However, I didn't ask the right questions about life and kids and that sort of thing. I was 18 & fell hard fast. What 18 year old knows everything & the right things to ask? Now in my mid 30's there are things I know now that I wish I had asked. But I got 3 wonderful children out of this and I still love the man. I just wish I thought some things through... Ah to be 18 & know it all...
by Gold Member on Jan. 23, 2014 at 1:03 PM
We were together for 6 yrs before getting married. We already knew and experienced the best to worst.
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by on Jan. 23, 2014 at 1:04 PM
1 mom liked this

Ha...this is my ex exactly. 

Quoting wikdstepmom:

Omg no, but he wouldn't have been honest with me anyway. He couldn't tell the truth if his life depended on it.

by Member on Jan. 23, 2014 at 1:06 PM

Yes, we were friends for years and we did pre-marital counseling with our Rabbi.

by Anonymous 9 on Jan. 23, 2014 at 1:08 PM
1 mom liked this

Ah haha! This is funny to me because no, I didn't ask the right questions. Shoot, I didn't ask ANY questions when I think about it. At 18, I jumped into marriage completely blind and was completely caught off guard within the first two months like, WHAT HAVE I DONE? We got married exactly one year and a week after we'd met! We had some serious problems for the first 4 years. Almost got divorced. Then, we sat down and had the talk we should have had before getting engaged and we MADE it work. That was 5 years ago :-) we're very happy with each other now. Happier than we were in the beginning! It sounds crazy but, hey, that's how life worked out for us! You never know!

by Platinum Member on Jan. 23, 2014 at 1:15 PM

Yes! I'm always surprised at the number of women who, months or years into marriage, are pissed about very basic things they've discovered about their spouse that they cannot compromise on; often having to do with marital roles, finances, politics, religion, child-rearing, etc - these are all things my husband and I discussed prior to marriage (heck - prior to even courting/dating seriously).

I am a Home Schooling, Vaccinating, Non spanking, Nightmare Cuddling, Dessert Giving, Bedtime Kissing, Book Reading, Stay at Home Mom. I believe in the benefit of organized after school activities and nosy, involved parents. I believe in spoiling my children. I believe that I have seen the village and I do not want it anywhere near my children. Now for the controversial stuff:  we're Catholic, we're conservative, and we own guns (now there's no need to ask, lol).             Aimee

by Anonymous 10 on Jan. 23, 2014 at 1:21 PM
Haha my husband and I got engaged at 19 married at 21, now three years later, because we have both grown, I sometimes think OH MY WORD what has happen! BUT I wonder about him too. What does he think? We did vow to be together for life blah blah blah but some things I have come to notice we are seriously POLAR OPPOSITES. Which makes it hard and does make arguments. Buy my sister gave me some good advice (she married almost solely bc of child) she told me "Rose I married him bc we agree on the things that matter" And I look at my marriage and say that. We have gone thru lots, some things that seem unbearable, but once you talk it out (which I found some times it takes you to agree to disagree and some how laugh it off) everything gets better. But yes I do wish at 19 I would have asked more in depth but at 19 I did not think of some of the things, or at that time the didn't even cross my mind. You just have to realize everyone grows over time doesn't matter what age. Life is about growing, learning, and loving. And you can't hold one back. So if a spouse seems unbearable, can't talk to, oh they've changed, or I CAN'T STAND THAT HE DOES THAT. look at yourself and look at him and ask yourself if I did that, what would you expect him to do? It's hard to look at yourself in a mirror and see yourself for what other people see but it helps me become who I want to be and helps me understand but it's still not easy.
by on Jan. 23, 2014 at 1:33 PM

Yes. We got married in the Catholic Church, and they had us do a pre-marriage course before we got married. They asked the questions for us. Lots of things I hadn't really thought of. It was hugely beneficial for us.

by on Jan. 23, 2014 at 1:34 PM

C. We did but then it turned out he didn't have a backbone strong enough to hold up his end of things. 

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