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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

honesty with kids

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 17 Replies

If your teenage child asked you point blank "Were you a virgin when you got married?"

Would you answer honestly? 

My dd has been going to a christian youth group on Wednesdays for a few weeks now and they were discussing "purity" last night and were told that anything other than virginity until marriage is a sin.

She asked me this morning if I was a virgin when I got married and I was a bit surprised and finally just told her that we were running late and I would talk to her this evening.

I was not a virgin. I wasn't even a virgin when I was her age (15). I am not ashamed of that, but am uncomfortable admitting that to her, but I don't want to lie either. 

I have never preached abstinence until marriage (in fact I would prefer she live with her partner for a few years before getting married), but...

I guess I am not ready for my little girl to grow up...

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 23, 2014 at 3:40 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Not_A_Native
by Ruby Member on Jan. 23, 2014 at 3:41 PM

My kids were well aware.  I don't see it as an issue.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 23, 2014 at 3:42 PM
In your case maybe saying, no but I regret not saving myself for a wonderful man as your father...?


I was never married, still not married, will probably never marry.
Hoppers33
by Platinum Member on Jan. 23, 2014 at 3:43 PM
Well, since two of our kids were born before dh and I got married, I think they'll know...
ABCMomma0211
by on Jan. 23, 2014 at 3:45 PM

nope......and i'll be honest with her.......why would you stall on that...shes a teenager, and should know about that kinda thing.

KennyPooPoo22
by Ruby Member on Jan. 23, 2014 at 3:46 PM
Yes I would be honest. DH and I have nothing to hide, I had sex at 16 and have been with 4 men. DH had sex at 18 and I'm not really sure of a number, but it is quite high.

I think it might be a bit awkward telling her the truth about "Uncle Joey" my exdf
O.o. Thanks for making me think about that OP!
JessMomOf9
by on Jan. 23, 2014 at 3:46 PM
My kids know. But then 5 of them were born out of wedlock. I'm not ashamed of my actions so I'm not going to hold back on the truth when they question me
kmt_771
by Bronze Member on Jan. 23, 2014 at 3:48 PM

I am completely honest with my kids. They know that I was not a virgin when I got married.

CASTA2478
by on Jan. 23, 2014 at 3:48 PM
1 mom liked this

I firmly believe in being honest with my kids as long as it's in an age appropriate manner.  Lying to them will only come back to bite you in the a$$ down the road.  Tell her the truth about how old you were, then tell her the truth about why you wish you had waited longer (if that's the case) and all of the worries that come with having sex. Things like STD's, getting pregnant, the emotions that come with it, the complications it puts on a relationship, etc.  Good luck.

yummypeaches
by Gold Member on Jan. 23, 2014 at 3:49 PM

Our oldest is 6 and her dad and I still aren't married....so I think she can put 2 and 2 together at some point lol

KelliansMom
by Platinum Member on Jan. 23, 2014 at 3:50 PM

I will always be honest with my children. 

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