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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

This pregnancy is ruining our marriage... :( Edit to clarify. Happy update! :)

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 225 Replies
3 moms liked this

Due to medical issues we can no longer be intimate. I know he still has needs, and try to assist in anyway I can. But usually he just turns to porn.

It wasn't really an issue aside from me missing being close to him that way. But I opened a browser on his computer to check his email for something and started typing in the page and hundreds of porn sites came up. 

I'm hurt because at 6 months pregnant I know I'm not the best to look at physically. But even after having the baby, there's no way I can compete with what he's watching. And after 8-10 months of porn, I'm terrified that I won't satisfy him.

I gave him permission to watch porn because I thought I was secure enough to not have it be an issue, but now seeing how much he is watching it. I'm not feeling so secure about it.


This is not a debate about whether you allow your SO/DH to watch porn, but how I can deal with this until I can physically please him? Please help.


Edit: 

I don't think I worded the OP very well. I told him I was okay with him watching it. I knew before this he watched porn. Even I watched porn. But watching it together was something we've never done. And I openly admit I am very insecure with my body. Prior to this pregnancy I had no doubts he loved me the way I was. But with a history of sexual abuse the whole "putting on a show" or touching myself and allowing him to watch was and still is something I haven't over come. 

I don't think the issue is the porn itself. Especially since it was in the picture long before the pregnancy and we had a pretty healthy and active sex life. Now that I'm calmer I see the issue is the lack of affection we had outside the bedroom. We do cuddle when we sleep still but that's about the extent of our affection right now. I just feel ignored and I tried to communicate that to him tonight when he came home. It didn't go over so well so I'm going to write down what I'm feeling and try again tonight after our kids are asleep so maybe he can reassure me and help me feel better about this. 

As far as blowing him I do try, but he's so hard to get off that way that I feel like my face is going to fall apart lol. I'm definitely not a porn star who can blow a guy for 30+ minutes. It just don't work. But I will try some of the other suggestions that have been posted. 


Update: So I managed to get everything wrote down and DH read it. He talk to me about it and is making a big effort to show affection towards me now. We messed around this morning and while he didn't get a "release" he was still satisfied and so was I. And he said he would start clearing his history when it gets big like it was cause that's just a scary amount of porn to be watching lol. But in his defense it was months of porn and not days (it doesn't show exact dates just most visited sites). Anyways, thank you for the support and encouragement.

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 24, 2014 at 12:58 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 24, 2014 at 1:09 PM

BUMP!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 24, 2014 at 1:12 PM
28 moms liked this
The porn has nothing to do with you.he's not comparing you are.He will still want to be intimate with you.its just because you can't right now and your hormones are getting the best if you.Guys like porn more for the sexual acts not nessasaraly for the women.
dubolis
by on Jan. 24, 2014 at 1:12 PM
3 moms liked this
Ouch. You can't be upset with your husband especially since you gave him permission to watch porn. You obviously have a lot on your mind so I wouldn't worry about being intimate with him until that time comes. Instead, focus on your marriage and make it stronger. The rest will come in time.
PaintballBtch
by Bronze Member on Jan. 24, 2014 at 1:14 PM
14 moms liked this
Gave him permission?

No wonder your marriage is suffering.

You should maybe give him his balls back.
jamamama00
by Platinum Member on Jan. 24, 2014 at 1:15 PM
20 moms liked this
Porn is not your problem. Your problem is your dh not showing you affection when you need him most. Dont worry about the porn...you have bigger issues to worry about. And for crying out loud, why do women keep saying they cant compete with porn stars? They're crack whores for fuck's sake. I watch a lot of porn and never see one I would consider fuckable in real life. They all look like hepatitis.
NatesMyBoy
by Gold Member on Jan. 24, 2014 at 1:15 PM
7 moms liked this
I don't think you are thinking about this rationally or giving him credit. Hes watching it to get off... I'm sure he'd rather have the real thing. Take a deep beath and don't over analyze.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 24, 2014 at 1:15 PM
1 mom liked this

I'm not mad at him. I'm just hurt. I know a lot of it has to do with hormones. I miss that aspect in our marriage. I feel like we're not balanced anymore. And my insecurities are running amok because of it.

Quoting dubolis: Ouch. You can't be upset with your husband especially since you gave him permission to watch porn. You obviously have a lot on your mind so I wouldn't worry about being intimate with him until that time comes. Instead, focus on your marriage and make it stronger. The rest will come in time.


AZHOTMOM
by Platinum Member on Jan. 24, 2014 at 1:15 PM
6 moms liked this

Honestly I think you are just overthinking it. Being pregnant will do that to you. Besides, most men want a real woman not something they see on the screen. Its just temporary. And lets be real, most of those women aren't really that attractive, it just seems that way because you are insecure right now. Dh and I were watching a porn the other night, the womans' fake boobs keep sliding into her armpit. I coundn't stop laughing, she was trying to look all sexy while getting pounded and holding up her boobies from her armpits. Not sexy!!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 24, 2014 at 1:16 PM
23 moms liked this

A marriage can Not be strong with porn in the way .  It will always cause a rift. 


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 24, 2014 at 1:18 PM

I think that's the biggest issue. We weren't overly affectionate before getting pregnant outside of the bedroom. But we made up for it in there. And now its all gone. :/

Quoting jamamama00: Porn is not your problem. Your problem is your dh not showing you affection when you need him most. Dont worry about the porn...you have bigger issues to worry about. And for crying out loud, why do women keep saying they cant compete with porn stars? They're crack whores for fuck's sake. I watch a lot of porn and never see one I would consider fuckable in real life. They all look like hepatitis.


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