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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

How to break the news

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 2 Replies

My biological father was an alcoholic all of my childhood. Due to his stupidity his health is now suffering majorly. He was legally disabled by the age of 37. Two days after I had my ODD (his first grandchild) he was rushed to the hospital and put in ICU and we were told hed never survive. This has happened about 3x in the past 6 years and hes still with us but like i said- his health is horrible. 

Hes tried making it up to me now that hes sober but its hard to just forgive 16 years and neglect and chosing a bottle of whisky over his own daughter. I admit i hold a lot of resentment towards him but im having a hard time with it now.

We're moving. We've known we're moving for about 2 months now. And we've known well be moving out of state for those two months. (Had to wait for lease to be up). We're buying a house about 10 hours away from my father and IDK how to break the news. I kept telling myself id tell him when SO told his family. Because I know once SO tells his family- theres no chance hes chaning his mind. He told the last of his family last night.

On one hand I don't feel like I should have to feel guilty about it. I shouldnt owe him anything. But on the other hand hes really sick. His drinking was just the beginning of what started all of his health problems. I really dont see him much as it is (my choice) but when we move it will be even less than that. 

I have 3 kids that he wont get to watch grow. And i Know hell play that guilt trip against me. Im also worried he'll play the "I hope I get to see him before I die" shit.  Right now, while hes sick and his health is bad, its not like it has been a few times before where doctors are saying hell be dead in two months. But I feel like hell hold it over my head. Hes already depressed and I know he blames a lot of it on me not wanting to be around (though he will never admit it to me, its what hes told his mom, his brothers, his wife, and his son- my older brother). 


How do I get past the guilt and just tell him were moving? I havent talked to him in over a week, maybe closer to two weeks. He rarely answers my calls or texts. And I feel awkward just sending a "Hey, were moving to _____. We'll be gone by _____". How do I bring it up? 

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 24, 2014 at 3:40 PM
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Replies (1-2):
JackieGirl007
by on Jan. 24, 2014 at 3:46 PM

 I would stop by his house to tell him. Don't feel bad. You have to do what you have to do. Did he ever feel bad for his actions?

whohasmyname
by on Jan. 24, 2014 at 3:50 PM

Got to do what yo got to do.  Just tell him face to face.  Promise to skype and call.  It's not like you cant go visit or he come & visit. 

Like JackieGirls said, did he ever feel bad for his actions? 

Good luck w/ your move!!! 

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