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Marriage is hard and takes work - discuss

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 109 Replies

 

Poll

Question: Does Marriage Take Hard Work?

Options:

Yes

No

Sometimes

Other


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Total Votes: 82

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I always hear people saying "Marriage is hard" or "Marriage isn't supposed to be easy"

But I've been with DH now for 11 years and it hasn't been hard at all. Maybe it takes longer than that to get hard? (that sounded dirty!).

So, I guess I'm curious. Do you think marriage is hard? Is your marriage easy? Does it take work? Or has it?


Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 28, 2014 at 3:07 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 28, 2014 at 3:10 AM
1 mom liked this
That would depend on so many varying factors. Nobody has the same exact relationship.

Individual personalities, stress, money, illness, outside influences, beliefs, family, past issues, etc, any and all combinations of those can affect anyone, and affects people differently.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 28, 2014 at 3:11 AM
1 mom liked this
Marriage is very hard. It doesn't matter how much you love each other life happens and when it does it causes stress. I think a big mistake people make is they think because they are married they " own" their spouse. They don't there is one life to live an you don't own their choices and they don't own yours. I think the hardest thing about marriage is it doesn't matter how many years you have been together you never truely know someone.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jan. 28, 2014 at 3:11 AM

Once we moved away from both our families, it was easier. We have had hard times and great times. There were times, I wanted to leave. I hated his family. I wanted/needed to feel like I was number 1 to DH. He needed me to trust him and depend on him. I couldn't because I didn't feel like I mattered most to him.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 28, 2014 at 3:12 AM

Absolutely! I'm not asking for definitive answer about every marriage in the world though, that's why I asked:

"Do you think marriage is hard? Is your marriage easy? Does it take work? Or has it?"

Quoting Anonymous: That would depend on so many varying factors. Nobody has the same exact relationship.

Individual personalities, stress, money, illness, outside influences, beliefs, family, past issues, etc, any and all combinations of those can affect anyone, and affects people differently.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 28, 2014 at 3:13 AM

That's a great point about not owning each other's choices! I've never thought about that before.


Quoting Anonymous: Marriage is very hard. It doesn't matter how much you love each other life happens and when it does it causes stress. I think a big mistake people make is they think because they are married they " own" their spouse. They don't there is one life to live an you don't own their choices and they don't own yours. I think the hardest thing about marriage is it doesn't matter how many years you have been together you never truely know someone.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 28, 2014 at 3:14 AM

I can definitely relate to painful families! I'm glad you managed to find a way to forge your own path together!

Quoting Anonymous:

Once we moved away from both our families, it was easier. We have had hard times and great times. There were times, I wanted to leave. I hated his family. I wanted/needed to feel like I was number 1 to DH. He needed me to trust him and depend on him. I couldn't because I didn't feel like I mattered most to him.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jan. 28, 2014 at 3:19 AM
Marriage is hard
NonaScheib38
by Gold Member on Jan. 28, 2014 at 3:20 AM
I think living together is hard. Even if you're totally x!sync, you both come from different backgrounds and different family styles. I love my so, and he is the one for me. We have a ton in common and I love spending time together. But when he takes his shirts off the hanger he just leaves the hanger all flipped up! And I take twenty years to do the dishes! And he doesn't take out the garbage until it spills everywhere! And I just leave piles of dirty clothes in the bathroom!

I know people who were best friends for years before they tried to be roommates, then never spoke again to each other. If you are with someone who doesn't accept that you do things differently or is not patient while you try to adjust, you are in for a long marriage. m
Gypsy.Scribe
by Ravenclawesome on Jan. 28, 2014 at 3:24 AM
Marriage I think is hard for some people because they are two very different people that love each other. They're personalities will clash, but they love each other so much they make it work.

Marriage has been pretty easy for us, yeah there has been a couple bumps, but nothing big at all. There has been a couple times where we both have been kinda stressed and will be short with each other, then that night we'll be like "I'm sorry I've been snippy with you lately (and vice versa) let's change that"
Jasminemomof3
by Mrs. Ali on Jan. 28, 2014 at 3:25 AM
I don't think marriage is easy nor it is hard. It all comes down to communication, faith, trust, compability and other things. Marriage can be anyway you and your SO want it to be to make it work and enjoy the long run of life with it.
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