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My husband told me he wishes I'd lose weight

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I was skinny when we met- 5'4'' and 115 lbs. I didn't gain that much weight in pregnancy, probably like 30 pounds. It was when I started being a SAHM and the kids were older that I started gaining weight. Right now, my boys are 6 and 4 and I homeschool. I eat what they eat, so obviously not great. Right now I weigh 180. 

My husband started working out on his lunch hour and has dropped 20 pounds and is getting fit and muscular. It had been one of my New Years Resolutions to lose weight and we were talking about resolutions. He asked if I was still sticking to the weight loss one and I said I hadn't been. He said he wishes I would take it more seriously. 

I just said "oh" and left the room and cried. I feel like shit and I wish he hadn't said that to me. 

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 28, 2014 at 7:06 PM
Replies (21-30):
by Emerald Member on Jan. 28, 2014 at 7:20 PM
5 moms liked this
If your own husband can't say it, who can? No one? Ignore that he's unhappy with your weight?
by Ruby Member on Jan. 28, 2014 at 7:22 PM

Well the problem is, is that when you know you are overweight, most people don't feel good about that.  When you don't feel good about yourself, everything suffers.  I know it hurt, and I'm very sorry you are hurting.  Men do not think like we do, it doesn't sound like he said it hurt you, but I'm sure he wants you to try and get healthy with him.  Trust me, I'm trying to drop 30lbs and it sucks lol.  But I want to get healthy, plain and simple.  Being healthy physically helps in being healthy emotionally as well.  Do you have a gym membership?  A lot of gyms offer child care.  I did that when my kids were little.  Son was in school but daughter was just a toddler.  It was good for the both of us.  Best of luck and try and focus on his intent, not so much his words.  Men think WAY differently than we do


by on Jan. 28, 2014 at 7:22 PM

did u ask him to pick of some of the slack around the house so you can make time for the gym... only if you really want to make the change for yourself

by Anonymous 6 on Jan. 28, 2014 at 7:22 PM
1 mom liked this

If you're at home all day I don't understand why you don't exercise.

by on Jan. 28, 2014 at 7:23 PM

She actually sounds pretty pathetic. Time to pull herself together and move on. Like her husband would want her to.

Quoting sdsstargazer: Let me give you a different perspective to view it from.

Recently a very good friend just lost her spouse. We thought he was healthy enough, he ate regular everyday foods, didn't really exercise except for the everyday walking around for work type things. He wasn't excessively obese, but he had put on weight.

Two weeks ago, my friend came home from work and found her husband in bed dead. He died from a heart attack. Apparently he had high blood pressure and high cholesterol.

This man was my friend's world. Her life is shattered, her kids are without a father now. She has decided to quit working, she is leaving our city and moving back to her parents' hometown. She literally cannot function.

She is now constantly telling us, love your spouse, get your health checked, eat right, exercise. Your husband may not have said this to be hurtful, but because he didn't know any other way to say he couldn't live without you.

by Gold Member on Jan. 28, 2014 at 7:24 PM
2 moms liked this
It's a lifestyle change for the family. Why not get them started on healthy habits early?

Quoting Anonymous:

I don't feed them "crap", just stuff that kids eat. I won't make them eat like rabbits just because I have a weight issue. 

Quoting Miller0305: Why do you feed your kids crap? Make healthy foods for all of you.

by ☆Mrs.Winchester☆ on Jan. 28, 2014 at 7:25 PM
5 moms liked this
See this is why men are never honest about how they feel or never want to tell their wives how they feel. As soon as one does then people start screaming divorce. Now wonder the divorce rate is so high, divorcing over petty shit.

Quoting piesmama09:

I know, how about you lose a HUGE chunk of dead weight by serving him with divorce papers! Because he's an ASSHOLE! And to all of these people saying he's somehow right? Bitches PLEASE, you would REALLY let a man talk to you like that? Because my DH wouldn't dare say shit like that to me.

by *Angelicious* on Jan. 28, 2014 at 7:26 PM
He didn't say it in a mean way, so I don't see why you felt the need to cry. You KNOW you need to lose weight and he KNOWS it too. Also, why are you feeding your kids "not so great" food? You are sahm and should be able to serve them and yourself decently healthy breakfast & lunch.

Find a way to start back up and stick with your workout routine, and slowly start to make better food choices. Stop crying and get motivated!
by Anonymous 7 on Jan. 28, 2014 at 7:26 PM

Good for him.  Most men have a hard time speaking up about this issue.

Talk to him about how it hurt your feelings, but tell him that he's right and you'd like to lose weight.  It isn't an easy task, but with his emotional and physical support, you'll be more likely to succeed.

by Platinum Member on Jan. 28, 2014 at 7:27 PM
3 moms liked this

Why would u cry? Guilt conscience?

he didn't tell u that u were fat.. He didn't tell u that u were gross.. He asked if u had been sticking to YOUR plan! You said no.. He wishes you would take it more seriously. As you should! Being healthy is important.

you eating what the kids eat, SCREAMS garbage, and a cop out. Quit feeding ur kids crap. No one is asking u OR your kids to eat "rabbit" food.. But maybe skip the cheeseburgers and grill up some chicken. Homemade nuggets with REAL chicken. Homemade fish sticks with REAL fish. Baked fries.. Etc.. Start slow, making healthy changes. Or keep feeding your kids shit food, and make yourself a separate meal.. It's not that hard.

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