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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

My husband told me he wishes I'd lose weight

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I was skinny when we met- 5'4'' and 115 lbs. I didn't gain that much weight in pregnancy, probably like 30 pounds. It was when I started being a SAHM and the kids were older that I started gaining weight. Right now, my boys are 6 and 4 and I homeschool. I eat what they eat, so obviously not great. Right now I weigh 180. 

My husband started working out on his lunch hour and has dropped 20 pounds and is getting fit and muscular. It had been one of my New Years Resolutions to lose weight and we were talking about resolutions. He asked if I was still sticking to the weight loss one and I said I hadn't been. He said he wishes I would take it more seriously. 

I just said "oh" and left the room and cried. I feel like shit and I wish he hadn't said that to me. 

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 28, 2014 at 7:06 PM
Replies (41-50):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 28, 2014 at 7:34 PM
1 mom liked this

It sounds like he wishes you would take your health seriously. Men aren't always sensitive in how they say things. He's getting healthier and wants you to be healthy too. 

nelliesmommy
by prettyandpierced on Jan. 28, 2014 at 7:34 PM
2 moms liked this
I don't think it was mean.
piesmama09
by on Jan. 28, 2014 at 7:35 PM

 I bet you anything if he gained weight she would have never told him he needed to lose it. Your spouse is your best friend, who talks to their friends like that?!

Quoting newbieann:
Quoting piesmama09:

I know, how about you lose a HUGE chunk of dead weight by serving him with divorce papers! Because he's an ASSHOLE! And to all of these people saying he's somehow right? Bitches PLEASE, you would REALLY let a man talk to you like that? Because my DH wouldn't dare say shit like that to me.



He has a right to still want to be attracted to his wife. And he was not an ass about it.
If you gained 70 pounds and your husband want attracted to you, would you honestly be ok with
That?

 

Mazi184
by Platinum Member on Jan. 28, 2014 at 7:35 PM
1 mom liked this
I think he was nice about it, he told you his concerns in a respectful way. I'm sure it still hurt, but I don think he did it to be an ass. You started this resolution together, it's good to have someone hold you accountable. And who better to so that than your dh.

Also, the eating what your kids excuse is bs, sorry. What are your kids eating that is making you gain so much weight, what do you think that is doing to their bodies? Eating healthy doesn't have to be "rabbit food" and it's good for kids get good eating habits from their parents.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 28, 2014 at 7:36 PM
1 mom liked this
Why would it be obvious you don't eat great because you eat what your kids do? You know you're in charge of what to buy at the grocery & what they are served. Keep making excuses & you won't lose the weight.
honeyrder
by Platinum Member on Jan. 28, 2014 at 7:37 PM
Try teaching gym class at home.
sdsstargazer
by Gold Member on Jan. 28, 2014 at 7:38 PM
Thank you. Hopefully, OP's husband is seeing it this way too, that his wife is just too valuable to lose.

Quoting newbieann:

Sorry fOr your friends lose. That person who called your friend pathetic is heartless.



Quoting sdsstargazer: Wow...I'm not sure how that's pathetic to be grieving for your spouse two weeks after his death. I guess two weeks later she's supposed to be over it already? It's not like it was a terminal illness and she had time to say goodbye, she came home to find her dead husband.



I'm glad you are a strong person and would be able to accept your SO's death so quickly. My friend unfortunately cannot. It is going to take her a long time to accept that he is gone.



Quoting Caera:

She actually sounds pretty pathetic. Time to pull herself together and move on. Like her husband would want her to.

Quoting sdsstargazer: Let me give you a different perspective to view it from.



Recently a very good friend just lost her spouse. We thought he was healthy enough, he ate regular everyday foods, didn't really exercise except for the everyday walking around for work type things. He wasn't excessively obese, but he had put on weight.



Two weeks ago, my friend came home from work and found her husband in bed dead. He died from a heart attack. Apparently he had high blood pressure and high cholesterol.



This man was my friend's world. Her life is shattered, her kids are without a father now. She has decided to quit working, she is leaving our city and moving back to her parents' hometown. She literally cannot function.



She is now constantly telling us, love your spouse, get your health checked, eat right, exercise. Your husband may not have said this to be hurtful, but because he didn't know any other way to say he couldn't live without you.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 28, 2014 at 7:38 PM

It may not have felt the best but at least he was honest with you. Is it possible for you and him to work out together or does he go to a gym? He could be concerned abt your health and it isn't completely based on esthetics.

3xangel
by *Angelicious* on Jan. 28, 2014 at 7:39 PM
2 moms liked this
Who lies to their friends and encourages them to continue being unhealthy? You would have a point if OP dh had called her a fatass beached whale, but he didn't. He just asked if she was still sticking to her resolution. That's it. Being best friends means they should be able to talk honestly to each other about their feelings, etc.

Quoting piesmama09:

 I bet you anything if he gained weight she would have never told him he needed to lose it. Your spouse is your best friend, who talks to their friends like that?!


Quoting newbieann:
Quoting piesmama09:

I know, how about you lose a HUGE chunk of dead weight by serving him with divorce papers! Because he's an ASSHOLE! And to all of these people saying he's somehow right? Bitches PLEASE, you would REALLY let a man talk to you like that? Because my DH wouldn't dare say shit like that to me.



He has a right to still want to be attracted to his wife. And he was not an ass about it.
If you gained 70 pounds and your husband want attracted to you, would you honestly be ok with
That?

 

Bigmetalchicken
by Ruby Member on Jan. 28, 2014 at 7:40 PM

What he said was not hurtful. He voiced a desire for you to commit to making an investment in your health. I think it is sweet. Maybe ask him if he can coach you in the evenings.

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