Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I told my DD that if she gets pregnant she can NOT live with me

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 38 Replies

My ex and I have had a real struggle with rules we agree on. Well mostly I think my 16 year old DD should have rules and my ex thinks she shouldnt. He pretty much lets her do whatever she wants whenever including going out all night and having her boyfriend sleep over

Now I have been trying to talk to the both of them to get them to see reason. I really dont think a 16 year old has any business having sleepovers with her bf. There was ONE time I let him sleep over here but it was -12 degrees with 8 inches of snow and about 2 inches of ice on the ground and no one thought it was safe for anyone to be driving (they had come to my house to study because his mom wasnt able to pick him up because of the snow and we were hoping it would stop snowing but the road conditions were just terrible). DD slept in my room and her boyfriend slept in my DS's room. However I think an "emergency" situation is very different than every friday and saturday night

My DD uses that one time as a way to say that i am okay with sleepovers and I am not. 

Well they not only sleep in the same house when she is with her dad they sleep in the same room in the same bed. Her dad has no problem with it. They ARE having sex (she told me). I told her I would go and get her on birth control but she doesnt want it. She said she will stick to condoms.

I have tried talking to her about it many many times and she just doesnt care. 

The last time we talked I made it very clear that if she gets pregnant she will not be able to live with me anymore. I am not going to give her money, I am not going to help her with the baby, nothing. She got really mad at first but I think she thought things through because last weekend her bf didnt sleep over. 

I know deep down she doesnt want a baby right now but she still thinks she is invincible and "nothing will happen to her" I think she realized that if she does she will be stuck with her dad the whole time. She loves her dad of course but she likes him a lot more because he has no real rules. I think that would not be fun if she was trying to raise a baby in his house. Hell I tried to raise a baby with his help and lets just say we are divorced for many reasons but his lack of help was one. 

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 30, 2014 at 8:26 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Pnukey
by Jenn on Jan. 30, 2014 at 8:30 AM

That sounds reasonable to me.

PinkButterfly66
by Ruby Member on Jan. 30, 2014 at 8:32 AM

Tell her about barrier birth control for women.. diaphragm or the cervical cap.  

cntrdmom
by Ruby Member on Jan. 30, 2014 at 8:32 AM
1 mom liked this
I wouldn't deal well with that. Sorry. That sucks.
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 30, 2014 at 8:33 AM

I have talked about all kinds of birth control. She doesnt want to use anything but condoms

Quoting PinkButterfly66:

Tell her about barrier birth control for women.. diaphragm or the cervical cap.  


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 30, 2014 at 8:33 AM

Well I dont want to deal with it but there isnt anything I can do to control what my ex does in his home

Quoting cntrdmom: I wouldn't deal well with that. Sorry. That sucks.


MommyMays
by Member on Jan. 30, 2014 at 8:34 AM
1 mom liked this
That's a sticky situation. I understand you not wanting her to live off you, but as a former Teen Mom, I would like to share something with you.

My Husband and I had a baby back in 2008. We lived with my Mom while we graduated high school. My Mom always said she would kick us out if we got pregnant again. Well, even being careful, we got pregnant again. I was scared by my Mom's lack of support before I even got pregnant, that we decided to have an abortion. We will never hold our second child because I feared my Mom's rejection. How would you feel if that happened to your grandchild?

My daughter will always know I'm here for her in those cases. People make "mistakes," but a child should never pay their life for a "lesson learned."
Jessy613
by Diamond Member on Jan. 30, 2014 at 8:35 AM

Your house, your rules.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 30, 2014 at 8:36 AM
Just show her an std slide show everytime before she leaves for her dad's. Include the blue waffle.

Follow up with a labor video. Make sure there is a suction and lots of tearing!
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 30, 2014 at 8:37 AM

Well, at least she is wanting to use condoms. However, I would feel the same way as you. She is putting herself in a situation that she will probably end up pregnant, the boy will take off and dad will be pissed that he has to deal with it...I bet he would be sending her back to you.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 30, 2014 at 8:38 AM
2 moms liked this
I was a teen mom too. I was terrified to tell my mom. I couldn't even speak I was crying so hard. I was ready to be kicked out.

It was hard. But I don't think you should blame your mom because you didn't have the courage to face the consequences of your actions. You choose to have sex, you choose the consequences.

Quoting MommyMays: That's a sticky situation. I understand you not wanting her to live off you, but as a former Teen Mom, I would like to share something with you.



My Husband and I had a baby back in 2008. We lived with my Mom while we graduated high school. My Mom always said she would kick us out if we got pregnant again. Well, even being careful, we got pregnant again. I was scared by my Mom's lack of support before I even got pregnant, that we decided to have an abortion. We will never hold our second child because I feared my Mom's rejection. How would you feel if that happened to your grandchild?



My daughter will always know I'm here for her in those cases. People make "mistakes," but a child should never pay their life for a "lesson learned."
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)



Featured