Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Our wedding shouldn't be just about us....or should it? UPDATE.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 268 Replies
2 moms liked this
We are in the beginning stages of planning our wedding. And, we've already hit a wall. We aren't fighting, just disagreeing.

He has a twelve-year-old daughter. I have two boys - 8 and 6 years-old. We have been together four years. We are established. We are happy.

I think that our wedding isn't just about us. I feel strongly that it shouldn't be ONLY about us. That day will be a day when we are 'officially' a family. I would like it to be very family oriented....I basically want all of the kids to look back fondly on that day. I don't want the pomp and circumstance.

He's seems to want a more traditional wedding, one that doesn't focus on the kids' part in all of this. He said, 'Everyday is about the kids. Why not make this day just for you?'

Well, I can't seem to do it or even fathom the thought of not having the kids involved. I'd hate it if my parents got married and I was shoved to the kids table. I want this to be THEIR day too. This is a huge moment in THEIR lives as well.

Hmmm. Am I wrong?

I am amazed by the amount of response this post has. Thank you for your opinions. For the women who are not nice, I feel sorry for you.

Anyway, it turns out that he was more confused about the timetable than anything. He said he doesn't understand the point of it. Haha! I think we're well on our way to a fun wedding for everyone involved. We are both very excited!

Thank you again!
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 31, 2014 at 8:54 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
notjstanothrmom
by Ruby Member on Jan. 31, 2014 at 8:55 AM
3 moms liked this

I think a good balance is great. It should be about you two, but maybe dedicate some time to announcing the family unit?

awesomemommy2
by Gold Member on Jan. 31, 2014 at 8:56 AM
How involved do you want them?
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 31, 2014 at 8:57 AM
No. I can see both point of views. what do you want the kids to be doing vs. what does he want?

Eta: I was the flower girl at my moms wedding. Other than that I didnt really do anyyhing. I was ok with that, and still am(although they got.married on my bday, so that got totally skipped, lol)
iamcafemom83
by Ruby Member on Jan. 31, 2014 at 8:57 AM
4 moms liked this
I understand both sides!
I definitely think a conpromise is needed. I don't see why the kids couldn't have roles dutong the ceremony, and yet the focus still be on you 2.
TiffanyRose06
by Queso<3 on Jan. 31, 2014 at 8:58 AM
This. Try to find a happy medium

It is YOUR day, but that also means you deserve the wedding you want... but so does he

Good luck and congrats :)


Quoting notjstanothrmom:

I think a good balance is great. It should be about you two, but maybe dedicate some time to announcing the family unit?

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 31, 2014 at 8:59 AM
4 moms liked this
Honestly, I don't want announcements. I don't want a hall. I want a very simple wedding in the park. I want the kids to be able to invite their friends, etc.... I want it to just be a very simple and fun day. Kind of like a BBQ; just with catered food and a wedding ceremony. I want to see the kids having a blast. That's genuinely what I want.

Quoting notjstanothrmom:

I think a good balance is great. It should be about you two, but maybe dedicate some time to announcing the family unit?

sheramom4
by Ruby Member on Jan. 31, 2014 at 9:00 AM

My kids were a big part of our wedding. DD was the flower girl and DS walked me down the aisle. They were three and six at the time. In my family, all weddings are family events so i am all for a wedding that includes the kids, but I also think it is important to find a happy medium to make sure you both get at least some of what you want.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 31, 2014 at 9:00 AM
1 mom liked this
Put the kids in the wedding party. Then they are well involved and will be at the wedding table with y'all instead of off who knows where. This is about them too.
Verrine
by Silver Member on Jan. 31, 2014 at 9:00 AM

My SD sang at our wedding and is proud of it. My sister played the keyboard. You can have your kids in supporting parts.

Cmgmqmmom
by Ruby Member on Jan. 31, 2014 at 9:01 AM

 That's a hard one. On one hand, I can see your point. You both have children from previous relationships and they will be part of the blended family. On the other hand, my husband and I always joke about how "every day is about the kids."
What level of involvement did you both have in mind? There has to be a compromise here. In all honesty, if you can't compromise, I would have concerns about that being an issue down the road in later conflicts. I'd keep that in mind. =)

Good luck.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)



Featured