Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

help me calm down!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 22 Replies
Livid. Been watching my dh sleep since 6. I'm trying to get ready for work. I work 2 days out of the week and a sahm the rest. I asked him to help watch our daughter so I can get ready. He's asking me what she's doing to make it so I can't get ready. Does it matter??!

Then he gives his "I work all the time" speech. I'm so pissed. It's as if what I do doesn't count, doesn't fucking matter and him working is an excuse to not help me :(

Watch what would happen if I didn't clean for like 2 days! Or if I didn't work my couple days, I pay my bills with. Ughh!!

I feel so unappreciated and alone in this.
Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 2, 2014 at 9:23 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
WillowRayne
by Silver Member on Feb. 2, 2014 at 9:25 AM
What's she doing
sarasunshine99
by Silver Member on Feb. 2, 2014 at 9:28 AM

Deep breaths!  I've said this before on here but it's worth repeating:  "those who anger you, control you".  Accept the things you cannot change (dh helping with your child) and change the things you can (such as prepare for work as much as possible in advance).  This may seem unfair (and probably is!) however it will be much healthier for you when are not so angry at someone you can't control.  Good Luck!  

crysiann
by Gold Member on Feb. 2, 2014 at 9:28 AM
Unfortunately, you can not control him and his behavior. You can only control your response to him. Sorry he is not helping you, I guess just plan your morning without help from him. Maybe talk with him about it when you both are calm?
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 2, 2014 at 9:29 AM
Sitting quietly. I would like to concentrate on doing my makeup and listen to music without keeping an eye out. This is the only day I can do something like that! Yes I live what I do, I love being a mother but Im a woman and an individual too. I deserve 5 minutes to myself.

Quoting WillowRayne: What's she doing
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 2, 2014 at 9:30 AM
Thank you. I'm so good about doing this on my own and not getting upset but Im pmsing right now lol

Quoting sarasunshine99:

Deep breaths!  I've said this before on here but it's worth repeating:  "those who anger you, control you".  Accept the things you cannot change (dh helping with your child) and change the things you can (such as prepare for work as much as possible in advance).  This may seem unfair (and probably is!) however it will be much healthier for you when are not so angry at someone you can't control.  Good Luck!  

coronado25
by on Feb. 2, 2014 at 9:35 AM
Guess I am old school. Although I always worked part time 2 or 3 nights a week in the evenings I was a sahm the rest of the time and I never expected a lick of help while getting ready for work or any other time.

My exhusband never woke up to rock a baby and I made him breakfast before he went to work for years.

Not saying this is ideal, just saying that if you do not expect anything, you will not be angry.

Yes. I am divorced now, but not for the reasons you are upset about.

Cindy1221
by Member on Feb. 2, 2014 at 9:37 AM

I work three part time days during the week, hours coinside with the boys school schedule, and Sundays at another job. During the week I wake up at 5 to shower and get ready for work, then wake up the boys at 6, hubby gets up too but he stands in front of the tv and drinks his coffee,  while I'm feeding the boys breakfast, making their lunches, and brushing teeth and hair and all that good stuff getting them ready. Sundays, I told him I am off. He is responsible for the boys. I get my time to get ready without the boys coming to me. If they do, I tell them, whatever they ask, "go ask your daddy"...haha when it comes from the kids it's different then me asking hubby to help. Also, I don't make myself that visible when Sunday comes around, lol...Does that make sense??

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 2, 2014 at 9:37 AM
I'm usually like that. I hold my feelings inside and it spewed out today.

Quoting coronado25: Guess I am old school. Although I always worked part time 2 or 3 nights a week in the evenings I was a sahm the rest of the time and I never expected a lick of help while getting ready for work or any other time.



My exhusband never woke up to rock a baby and I made him breakfast before he went to work for years.



Not saying this is ideal, just saying that if you do not expect anything, you will not be angry.



Yes. I am divorced now, but not for the reasons you are upset about.



sarasunshine99
by Silver Member on Feb. 2, 2014 at 9:38 AM

Seriously so true in my marriage!  Once I learned to accept this, life keeps getting better and better everyday!  Thanks for sharing...and you wrote it so perfectly!  : )

Quoting coronado25: Guess I am old school. Although I always worked part time 2 or 3 nights a week in the evenings I was a sahm the rest of the time and I never expected a lick of help while getting ready for work or any other time.

My exhusband never woke up to rock a baby and I made him breakfast before he went to work for years.

Not saying this is ideal, just saying that if you do not expect anything, you will not be angry.

Yes. I am divorced now, but not for the reasons you are upset about.


j3st3r
by Jedi on Feb. 2, 2014 at 9:39 AM
How do you not have a rank?

Quoting coronado25: Guess I am old school. Although I always worked part time 2 or 3 nights a week in the evenings I was a sahm the rest of the time and I never expected a lick of help while getting ready for work or any other time.



My exhusband never woke up to rock a baby and I made him breakfast before he went to work for years.



Not saying this is ideal, just saying that if you do not expect anything, you will not be angry.



Yes. I am divorced now, but not for the reasons you are upset about.



Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)



Featured