I have primary custody as well as sole medical, educational and religious decision making power for my ten year old DD. My ex has a DD with his girlfriend who is now 4 and needs a kidney transplant. Without my knowledge or consent, he took DD to be tested to see if she is a match. That alone violated the court order as he is only allowed to seek emergency medical services for her. As it happens she is a match. Last week, when my ex dropped her off after his visit, he told me he had her tested and she is and he thinks she should get to make that choice herself. Of course this was only after telling her she is a match and making her feel she has to. I talked to her about it and after realizing that he and his girlfriend have put it in her head that she doesn't have a choice there is no way I will even consider letting her do it. She said she was scared but felt like she had no choice. I told her that her half sister can get on a list and get one from someone who has already passed away and doesn't need their kidnies. I also explained that because she is so young there is a real risk that one kidney is not going to last her the rest of her life. Then i put it on myself and told her she has no reason to feel guilty because its not her choice anyway, its mine and I am saying no. She understands at least as well as she can and I told my ex that if he ever brings up donating again or in any way tries to make her feel guilty I will take him to court for violating the court order by having her tested. He said that he can't believe I am being "like this" and as her sister DD should donate. I have a feeling court will be in the near future. Seriously though, what kind of person puts pressure on one child to donate to another?