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At my wit's end

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 14 Replies

I generally don't discuss this kind of thing on CM because I feel like parenting is to each his own but my DS14 is out of control and I've tried everything I can think of.  Hopefully you ladies can help.

The situation is my son wasn't ever a huge discipline problem but lately it's all I can do not to send him to military school.  If he gets in trouble it's because I'm mean not because he earned it.  Nothing is ever his fault. He has literally hit my DS8 for breathing too loud.  He's gotten very aggressive and oh my gosh mouthy. 

Perfect example, this morning after he got dressed for school he laid back down.  At three minutes until the bus ran I made him get up.  When it was time for the bus, I sent him out.  During this entire time, he's throwing a fit because he doesn't want to be in the living room and on his way out the door he says I'm glad I'm going to school and I don't have to be here with you because you get on my nerves.

Now for the ladies thinking I would NEVER allow my child to get away with that, believe me I feel you.  I wanted to snatch him back in the house and pop him.  I didn't for two reasons.  One, it would only fuel his aggression and two, it wouldn't have done any good at all.

Something of this nature happens almost every day.  I've tried spanking, it doesn't work.  I've tried taking all his electronics.  I've tried ignoring him.  Nothing is working.

I'm so sick of fighting with him.  I know that good kid is still in there because everybody else gets to see it.  I just want some peace.  This has escalated to the point that I'm on meds.  My stress levels have screwed up my heart.

I'm genuinely asking for help here so if you feel the need to bash, just know I'm going to ignore you.

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 5, 2014 at 1:31 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Chibee
by on Feb. 5, 2014 at 1:33 PM

have you talked to his counselors at school?   maybe something is going on and he's not telling you?

articmom
by on Feb. 5, 2014 at 1:38 PM
I went through this with my parents . Open up the doors for a different form of communication with him . Write to him , email him . I felt so odd at that age that I lashed out constantly. I wasn't on drugs or being bullied I just hadn't found myself.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 5, 2014 at 1:41 PM

You mean the counselor that told DD17 if she moved in with her boyfriend there was nothing I can do about it?  Absolutely not.  

He has anger issues because he thinks I don't love him since we fight constantly.  I love him and I tell him that frequently but in his head punishment is because I'm out to get him.  He honestly doesn't believe his behavior warrants punishment.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 5, 2014 at 1:43 PM


Quoting articmom: I went through this with my parents . Open up the doors for a different form of communication with him . Write to him , email him . I felt so odd at that age that I lashed out constantly. I wasn't on drugs or being bullied I just hadn't found myself.

That's a fantastic idea and I never would have thought of it.  Thank you!!

KendallsMommee
by Spoiled SAHM on Feb. 5, 2014 at 1:45 PM
Where's his father?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 5, 2014 at 1:55 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting KendallsMommee: Where's his father?

Working eighty hours a week.  When DS and I got into it last night, DH started screaming at both of us that he was so sick of listening to us fight.  Told DS to go on, he didn't want to hear it anymore.  

I told him all that accomplished was reinforcing DS's belief that I'm the wicked witch because even Daddy is sick of me.  That's why DS was so ballsy this morning. I finally got DH to realize he can't do that anymore, it just make things worse.

gotchoo
by on Feb. 5, 2014 at 2:16 PM
He's a teenager. It's kind of his job to be an a-hole.
articmom
by on Feb. 5, 2014 at 3:00 PM
Our family is uniquely sewn together each of us kids have our own issues , and mine was communication. I have been there and was a total douche to my mom , also counselors were a joke to me . My mom tried this and it worked she left me notes and at first I thought she was so silly but after a few the message got through .

Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting articmom: I went through this with my parents . Open up the doors for a different form of communication with him . Write to him , email him . I felt so odd at that age that I lashed out constantly. I wasn't on drugs or being bullied I just hadn't found myself.

That's a fantastic idea and I never would have thought of it.  Thank you!!

articmom
by on Feb. 5, 2014 at 3:02 PM
I actually called my mom a wicked witch to her face ... Not my best moment lol. I'm 25 now and thank heavens that's a distant memory .
PinkButterfly66
by Sapphire Member on Feb. 5, 2014 at 3:04 PM

Welcome to puberty!!

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