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Bio mom boundaries?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 5 Replies

Just curious, if you're a stepmom - what kind of boundaries do you have with bio mom?

The reason I'm asking is my SD is 5 years old and lives with us full time. DH has full custody of her due to bio mom decided after their split up that she wanted to be kid free and party. Court order did give her every other weekend and every other holiday plus 2 weeks every summer. We live about an hour apart. Since the court order, we can count on one hand how many times she's taken her visits with her daughter and because of the distance, we always drove SD over there.

Now bio mom has a car and we're elated we won't have to make the drive both ways but now we're deciding what boundaries we want to have. I say I don't want her coming in my house but I fear that will cause issue. I keep my doors locked at all times so she or anyone else would not be able to just walk in.


Any suggestions?

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 5, 2014 at 1:46 PM
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Replies (1-5):
katyusha42
by Metal Kitty on Feb. 5, 2014 at 1:51 PM
You should be able to set boundaries concerning your home and things of that nature. Any boundaries set concerning your SD should be left up to her father and mother to work out. I don't really have any suggestions other than that because I don't know what your comfort zone is. If she is going to be in her daughters life she should be able to freely communicate with her daughters father reguarding their child.
fstysxofthebtt
by on Feb. 5, 2014 at 1:54 PM

 What do you mean boundaries? If you don't want her in your house then she doesn't come in your house.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 5, 2014 at 1:55 PM

 oh i have no issues with the communicating. I just don't want her in my house, at my family functions and so on but don't know how to communicate or put into words nicely that she isn't welcomed over here

 

Quoting katyusha42: You should be able to set boundaries concerning your home and things of that nature. Any boundaries set concerning your SD should be left up to her father and mother to work out. I don't really have any suggestions other than that because I don't know what your comfort zone is. If she is going to be in her daughters life she should be able to freely communicate with her daughters father reguarding their child.

 

Bubbie0809
by on Feb. 5, 2014 at 1:58 PM
This.

Quoting fstysxofthebtt:

 What do you mean boundaries? If you don't want her in your house then she doesn't come in your house.

katyusha42
by Metal Kitty on Feb. 5, 2014 at 2:04 PM
I just let my fiance know what I am comfortable with concerning our home and things of that nature and let him communicate that to his daughters mom. I have learned that she is more receptive to him then to me. He does the same when it comes to my children and ex husband. It works for us.

Quoting Anonymous:

 oh i have no issues with the communicating. I just don't want her in my house, at my family functions and so on but don't know how to communicate or put into words nicely that she isn't welcomed over here


 


Quoting katyusha42: You should be able to set boundaries concerning your home and things of that nature. Any boundaries set concerning your SD should be left up to her father and mother to work out. I don't really have any suggestions other than that because I don't know what your comfort zone is. If she is going to be in her daughters life she should be able to freely communicate with her daughters father reguarding their child.

 

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