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How Do You Deal With Puberty?

Posted by on Feb. 5, 2014 at 6:21 PM
  • 10 Replies

How do you deal with puberty...your emotions as the mom..I'm genuinely curious.

I'm having a hard time with it to be honest. I'm very open with my children. I answer all of their questions with age appropriate honesty. My 10 year old and I have spoken about periods, breast growth, her aereola's and nipples...heck, she's even asked me what is inside the "vagina hole". Her questions sometimes make me feel uncomfortable but I answer each and every one of them.

The other day my 10 year old came to me and said "Can you look at my boobs and tell me what's going on with them?" Now, I love that she is this open with me. It shows her trust in me (in my opinion). I told her that I really didn't want to look at her breasts at that moment. She said "Come on mommy. It's not weird or anything. You are my mom". So, reluctantly I agreed.

Here's where the emotional part is. We went into the bathroom and she pulled up her shirt. I explained to her the changes, reminded her the proper names for her breasts, then answered any follow up questions.

After we were done, I realized she has boobs...I don't know why this is so shocking to me. I've been talking to her about her body for ages. I knew some day she would grow breasts. I also know that she will have large breasts some day (I have the smallest breasts in my family at a 38DD). I guess that even though I know logically these things are happening to her, emotionally I'm not ready for her to grow up. She may be my oldest baby but she's still my baby, you know? 

So I know how to help her cope with the changes going on with her body but how do I, as the parent, cope with my little girl growing up?

by on Feb. 5, 2014 at 6:21 PM
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Replies (1-10):
AZHOTMOM
by on Feb. 5, 2014 at 6:25 PM

Alot of alcohol. Just kidding. I cried alot, it was like losing my babies. But in a few years you will realize she is not only your dd, but now you friend too. It brought me and my oldest dd closer.

nana776
by on Feb. 5, 2014 at 6:35 PM
1 mom liked this

I don't know. It didn't really bother me too much I guess. Some see puberty as the beginning of the end, but let me tell you as the mother of a 30yo, there are still a lot of joys in watching them develop and grow even as adults.

I did get a little scared when my dd hit puberty, I've heard the teen years are a bit rougher for girls. Boy Howdy, everyone in the house knows when she is PMSing!!!

mom2many747
by Momma Duck on Feb. 5, 2014 at 6:37 PM

Aw, that's really sweet. I hope it does the same for my dd and I. I know I sometimes hear that puberty acts like a barrier between moms and daughters. We're very close now and I really don't want her to start pushing me away. 

Quoting AZHOTMOM:

Alot of alcohol. Just kidding. I cried alot, it was like losing my babies. But in a few years you will realize she is not only your dd, but now you friend too. It brought me and my oldest dd closer.


mom2many747
by Momma Duck on Feb. 5, 2014 at 6:38 PM

I'm not really worried about the mood swings. It's more the becoming a woman lol I always thought that because I saw her every day I wouldn't really notice too many of the physical changes in her. I guess I was wrong :-)

Quoting nana776:

I don't know. It didn't really bother me too much I guess. Some see puberty as the beginning of the end, but let me tell you as the mother of a 30yo, there are still a lot of joys in watching them develop and grow even as adults.

I did get a little scared when my dd hit puberty, I've heard the teen years are a bit rougher for girls. Boy Howdy, everyone in the house knows when she is PMSing!!!


Mystic.Falls
by on Feb. 5, 2014 at 6:40 PM

 Mine are still young. My oldest will be four while my youngest will be two.

I guess I will cross that bridge when I get there.

Steph84FL
by Bronze Member on Feb. 5, 2014 at 6:44 PM
Haha my daughter plugs her ears and ignores me when I try and talk to her about puberty. She turned twelve back in Dec. No period yet (thank goodness). I don't push the conversation I just make her promise to tell me when she starts.

Quoting mom2many747:

How do you deal with puberty...your emotions as the mom..I'm genuinely curious.

I'm having a hard time with it to be honest. I'm very open with my children. I answer all of their questions with age appropriate honesty. My 10 year old and I have spoken about periods, breast growth, her aereola's and nipples...heck, she's even asked me what is inside the "vagina hole". Her questions sometimes make me feel uncomfortable but I answer each and every one of them.

The other day my 10 year old came to me and said "Can you look at my boobs and tell me what's going on with them?" Now, I love that she is this open with me. It shows her trust in me (in my opinion). I told her that I really didn't want to look at her breasts at that moment. She said "Come on mommy. It's not weird or anything. You are my mom". So, reluctantly I agreed.

Here's where the emotional part is. We went into the bathroom and she pulled up her shirt. I explained to her the changes, reminded her the proper names for her breasts, then answered any follow up questions.

After we were done, I realized she has boobs...I don't know why this is so shocking to me. I've been talking to her about her body for ages. I knew some day she would grow breasts. I also know that she will have large breasts some day (I have the smallest breasts in my family at a 38DD). I guess that even though I know logically these things are happening to her, emotionally I'm not ready for her to grow up. She may be my oldest baby but she's still my baby, you know? 

So I know how to help her cope with the changes going on with her body but how do I, as the parent, cope with my little girl growing up?

Nicoleb9
by Emerald Member on Feb. 5, 2014 at 6:45 PM
I'm probably in the minority here, but my oldest is 16 and I've enjoyed witnessing her milestones. I don't see them as a loss. I see them as fun transitions into different phases of her life. The same goes for my other three children. I honestly don't want babies forever.
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nana776
by on Feb. 5, 2014 at 6:48 PM
1 mom liked this

Those big double D's would be hard to miss!!! lol 

Quoting mom2many747:

I'm not really worried about the mood swings. It's more the becoming a woman lol I always thought that because I saw her every day I wouldn't really notice too many of the physical changes in her. I guess I was wrong :-)

Quoting nana776:

I don't know. It didn't really bother me too much I guess. Some see puberty as the beginning of the end, but let me tell you as the mother of a 30yo, there are still a lot of joys in watching them develop and grow even as adults.

I did get a little scared when my dd hit puberty, I've heard the teen years are a bit rougher for girls. Boy Howdy, everyone in the house knows when she is PMSing!!!



mom2many747
by Momma Duck on Feb. 5, 2014 at 6:59 PM


I pictured a 12 year old girl doing what you described...that's so funny! I think my 8 year old is more like that. She's very conservative when it comes to her body. She doesn't ask much...isn't really curious. I don't push it. I let all of my kids know if they have a question come ask. I don't force info on them though. When the curiosity hits, they'll ask, right?


Quoting Steph84FL: Haha my daughter plugs her ears and ignores me when I try and talk to her about puberty. She turned twelve back in Dec. No period yet (thank goodness). I don't push the conversation I just make her promise to tell me when she starts.

Quoting mom2many747:

How do you deal with puberty...your emotions as the mom..I'm genuinely curious.

I'm having a hard time with it to be honest. I'm very open with my children. I answer all of their questions with age appropriate honesty. My 10 year old and I have spoken about periods, breast growth, her aereola's and nipples...heck, she's even asked me what is inside the "vagina hole". Her questions sometimes make me feel uncomfortable but I answer each and every one of them.

The other day my 10 year old came to me and said "Can you look at my boobs and tell me what's going on with them?" Now, I love that she is this open with me. It shows her trust in me (in my opinion). I told her that I really didn't want to look at her breasts at that moment. She said "Come on mommy. It's not weird or anything. You are my mom". So, reluctantly I agreed.

Here's where the emotional part is. We went into the bathroom and she pulled up her shirt. I explained to her the changes, reminded her the proper names for her breasts, then answered any follow up questions.

After we were done, I realized she has boobs...I don't know why this is so shocking to me. I've been talking to her about her body for ages. I knew some day she would grow breasts. I also know that she will have large breasts some day (I have the smallest breasts in my family at a 38DD). I guess that even though I know logically these things are happening to her, emotionally I'm not ready for her to grow up. She may be my oldest baby but she's still my baby, you know? 

So I know how to help her cope with the changes going on with her body but how do I, as the parent, cope with my little girl growing up?


mom2many747
by Momma Duck on Feb. 5, 2014 at 7:00 PM

lol ok yeah, that's true. I guess I didn't think I'd notice the more subtle changes. Gah, I'm new at all this! I don't know what I thought. I think I just secretely hoped she would stay a baby forever ;-)

Quoting nana776:

Those big double D's would be hard to miss!!! lol 

Quoting mom2many747:

I'm not really worried about the mood swings. It's more the becoming a woman lol I always thought that because I saw her every day I wouldn't really notice too many of the physical changes in her. I guess I was wrong :-)

Quoting nana776:

I don't know. It didn't really bother me too much I guess. Some see puberty as the beginning of the end, but let me tell you as the mother of a 30yo, there are still a lot of joys in watching them develop and grow even as adults.

I did get a little scared when my dd hit puberty, I've heard the teen years are a bit rougher for girls. Boy Howdy, everyone in the house knows when she is PMSing!!!




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