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He raped me and now he GOT VISITATION!!!

Posted by Anonymous
  • 198 Replies

I'm freaking out right now! I got served with papers about an hour ago. My daughter's biological father is taking me to court for visitation!

He is my mother's ex boyfriend. When I was 17 he raped me. He took my virginity! I didn't say anything until I found out I was pregnant. I HAD to tell my mother what happened. He was drunk, came into my room, and forced himself on me. My mother called the police and long story short, he was convicted and sentenced to 5 years in prison and 5 years probation. He got out of prison after just over 4 years and apparently recently finished probation.

Now he wants to meet my daughter. Is he out of his mind?!?!?! Why would I possibly let this perverted POS man around my baby girl? And how do I tell her what's going on? She doesn't know she's the product of rape. I never intended on telling her. I told her that I made bad choices when I was a teen and ended up pregnant, that I don't know who her dad is. I would rather her think I made bad choices then for her to know the truth.

Do I really have something to worry about? In the papers I got served he claimed he's a reformed man and that my daughter is his only child and he wants a relationship with her. I swear to God if anyone tries to let him see her I will flee. I will run and hide my girl so that pervert never has contact with her. I called my lawyer and he told me that we can meet later this afternoon but if he is reformed and can prove it there is a good chance he can at least get supervised visitation to start with. 

Because he was in jail and the circumstances of the conception I have sole custody. His parental right were terminated. Doesn't that mean anything? He can't come back after 10 years and try to be part of her life can he? He has no rights...I just don't know what to do. I'm terrified. 


I met with my lawyer. I'm so much more confused now than I was. He said what I got was 2 seperate petitions. One was a petition for custody and the other was an petition to have the decision to have his parental right terminated reversed. He's claiming that he was not given due process during the initial court hearing and that him being in prison is not a legal reason to terminate his rights. The papers say that in order for his rights to be terminated it had to be proven that there was evidence of abandonment or abuse to my daughter. There was proof of neither because he'd never met her. 

My lawyer said that the appeal is a stretch because the law says he only has 30 days to appeal the decision and it's been 10 years. He also warned me that because he was in prison, then subsequently on probation, there is a possibility that they will hold the termination hearing again. If he wins, he will probably get supervised visitation. They have already agreed to hear his appeal. The court date is February 14th. 

My lawyer told me he honestly doesn't know which way it's going to go.

I've put in calls to 4 other lawyers. If they say the same things, I'm cleaning out my accounts and stashing my daughter somewhere. I won't tell anyone in the world where she is or who she is with. I'll go to the court dates and the only way I'll take her out of hiding is if he loses. If he wins, her and I will both disappear. I refuse to let that scum near her! It will never happen. 

Update # 2

We have had 2 court dates since I last posted. One on Valentine's Day and the other this morning. On Valentines Day they agreed to reinstate his parental rights until an official TPR hearing which was today. My attorney requested that no visitation be allowed until today's hearing and the bastard's attorney agreed to it as long as he could have a picture of my daughter and be allowed one phone call. I absolutely refused to agree to the phone call but said I would email a picture to his attorney (I emailed a blurry crappy one. I didn't agree I would make sure it was great quality). His attorney said that that would temporarily be acceptable.

So, today we went to court. His parental rights were not terminated. It was ordered that he be allowed supervised visitation every other Friday (starting today at 4pm) for one hour at the DSS office to start with. He's also been ordered to pay child support. I've also requested that it be in the visitation order that he can't speak of her conception. I'm waiting for my daughter to get home. I've decided to tell her that the man that got me pregnant with her popped up and wants to meet her. I will tell her that I'll be right with her (because I'm NOT leaving her side) and if at any point she feels uncomfortable we will leave. I'm so nervous and panicked. I've still got the urge to just take her and run but I know I won't be doing her any good if I do that. I feel so this situation is hopeless. Please pray that this bastard doesn't emotionally scar my baby girl.

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 6, 2014 at 11:32 AM
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Replies (1-10):
by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 6, 2014 at 11:33 AM
No court is going to make you let him see her .
by Anonymous 3 on Feb. 6, 2014 at 11:35 AM
2 moms liked this

If his rights were terminated, you should not have to allow visits. Talk to your lawyer some more. If he keeps pushing, then file for back child support. If that doesn't work, move!

by Gold Member on Feb. 6, 2014 at 11:35 AM
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What state do you live in? As fucked up as that is there are some states that do allow rapists visitation to their children. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this :(

by Navy Mom on Feb. 6, 2014 at 11:35 AM

No, you've got nothing to worry about.  Not only do you not have to deal with him seeing her, but you've now got grounds for a restraining order.  His parental rights were terminated.  There is no undoing that.  

Take a deep breath and go to the police.

by Stacey on Feb. 6, 2014 at 11:36 AM

 That is outrageous. Please get an attorney to fight for your dd.

by Ruby Member on Feb. 6, 2014 at 11:37 AM
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I would move. Far far away.
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by Anonymous 4 on Feb. 6, 2014 at 11:37 AM
1 mom liked this
If his parental rights were terminated I don't think he has anything to go on. He has no rights to her at all!
by kid crack dealer on Feb. 6, 2014 at 11:38 AM
Many times they will allow visitation but I'm not clear how or why they would do that if his rights were legally terminated. All you can do is deal with your lawyer.
by Anonymous 5 on Feb. 6, 2014 at 11:39 AM
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It's happened before...but if his rights were terminated, you might have a chance. (I'm not entirely sure, though)
Good luck, I hope that piece of shit never gets anywhere near you out your baby girl!
by ~Tammie~ on Feb. 6, 2014 at 11:40 AM

 o wow. get a lawyer today. seriously. take out a loan clean out your savings what ever you need to do. get the best your county has to offer.

Photo: -Randi.

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