I came home to my SO YELLING at my 13 yo dd for almost 2 hours over being irresponsible (not taking care of her belongings, i.e., bookbag, water bottles, etc.). He and I had discussed how to handle this only 2 hours previously and we agreed there would be NO yelling because we both grew up in yelling households. I HATE yelling and he knows it. We decided to ground her or take belongings away and that this would take time. He agreed to all of this.
She was crying so hard and he was just sitting there in his recliner looking smug, and his 16 yo dd was sitting there not even helping her out, agreeing with him. (There is another problem all together, his dd has been yelled at her entire life and she thinks this is NORMAL, she just moved in with us to get away from her mother and step-father who yelled at her ALL the time). My dd told me that he called her names such as Queen Shit of Turdville, liar, selfish, spoiled. I WAS FUCKING FURIOUS!!! I told him that if he EVER did that to her again I would leave him. There is so much more to this story but I cannot add it all so if you have questions, please ask. I hope I did what I had to do to protect my daughter. She is my priority. We've been working on this with her for a long time and I feel that he hit his breaking point but that does NOT excuse his horrible behavior. I made him apologize to her and tell her exactly what it was he had done wrong. He cried and told us that he would never do it again and he didn't know why he did it.
I stand by my word though. I love him but I will NOT put up with this and I told my daughter that she comes first. She and I talked for a long time and went for a ride to the store to talk some more. He's gone with his dd talking with her because I told her it is troublesome to me that she feels this type of behavior from an adult is okay.
Children should NOT be yelled at, especially over inconsequential things like leaving your belongings out. She gets straight A's in school, is not a troublemaker, every one of her teachers loves her, she is respectful and mostly responsible, kind, compassionate, and caring. She's 13, he needs to lighten up!