Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Don't know what to do about my nephew :( *update* *UPDATE 2*

Posted by Anonymous
  • 182 Replies
2 moms liked this

My sister had a 1.5yr old I watch him occassionally.  She always seems to want to go out with her friends or whatever and just drops off my nephew at my house.

Lately he has been being dropped off with minimal daipers, like 1 or 2 daipers for an entire weekend and no cream, no wipes.  He has the worst daiper rash, open sores and red bum.  So bad I can't even use a cloth to clean it because it hurts, I have to fill the tub a bit and let him soak.

I feel so bad for him, he cries and cries when you try to change his daiper. When she drops him off as soon as she leaves I take the daiper off him and he'll have a stinky bum with old poop left on from not being wiped off properly.

I'm trying not to be judgemental (I've been told I'm a perfectionist) but really.  This is just negligence.

It's Monday now.  She dropped him off Saturday afternoon and said she'd pick him up Sunday morning.  Still no word from her.  I went out yesterday adn bought daipers and 40% zinc oxide cream as well as some vaseline.  

This is crazy. What would you do?

I spoke to my husband and he is not happy.  He basically said this has gone on long enough and to take my nephew to the doctor.  So I took him to our family doctor who was willing to see him.  Our doctor gave me some instructions on treating the baby's bottom and urged me to call CPS.  I called my husband back adn told him what the doctor said, he thought we should keep trying to get a hold of my sister first.

I called my brother.  She picked up the phone for him.  It seems she is screening my calls. When my brother spoke to her she cried and said she isn't answering when I call because I just will want her to come pick up her son and she "can't deal".  

My husband is on his way home and then we are going together to our family lawyer.  The lack of care has been getting worse and worse, but now her refusign to answer my calls or come get her son is just beyond what I can be understanding of, sister or not.

I hope I am doing the right thing.


Just an update about what happened.  My nephew still has the awful rash, it's not getting better, the sores are open and weeping.  I'm taking him back to the doctor today, any advice on that would be welcomed!

Other than that though, things are going well.  I've been very busy.  After dh and I saw our lawyer, the lawyer thought it best to file right away for emergency temporary custody.  So that's what we did.  I called my brother and told him what we were doing, he texted my sister and she texted back "I'm not going, just leave me out of this."   We printed the screen shot and put it with our statement so the judge would see it.   We won custody for 6 months.  

I texted my sister and told her, "Jess, we have custody of Kai now, I don't understand this.  Please answer your phone!  I really need some clothes and some of his things for him.  Please."

She texted back "he's your problem now, you wanted him, went to court for him."

DH was livid.  I am more heartbroken than angry right now.  He wants to get permanant custody, but I would like to wait and see what happens.  A lot can change in 6 months.  Maybe she needs some space to get her  mind in order.  DH doesn't care, he says she's a shit mother and a shit sister and she doesn't deserve Kai.  It's causing some tension.   

FInancially there is a bit of tension as well now too.  I have to pay for lawyer's fees and for everything the baby needs, clothes, toys, crib ect.  All I had was the clothes on his back, a stroller, a pack and play and a daiper bag with one outfit in it.   We've got him clothes, a few toys and toiletries.  I am going tonight to buy him a crib and proper mattress as well as some bedding.

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 10, 2014 at 9:23 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 10, 2014 at 9:25 AM


by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 10, 2014 at 9:26 AM
Call cps. Can u keep him? That's nasty.
by Anonymous 3 on Feb. 10, 2014 at 9:27 AM
That's abuse and neglect . I would tell her if you want me to watch your baby you need to make sure he has everything he needs dropped of with him. 1-2 diapers isn't going to work. Also if it kept persisting I would call CPS family or not that's abuse.
by on Feb. 10, 2014 at 9:28 AM
1 mom liked this

I would have a serious talk with her. Leaving a baby in dirty/wet diapers to the point of bleeding is abusive IMO. Tell her you're concerned that she could be reported for this and that she needs to change him more frequently and use diaper ointment as a preventative if he has sensitive skin. There is no excuse for this. How would she like walking around with open sores on her butt?

by The Major on Feb. 10, 2014 at 9:29 AM
1 mom liked this
Tell her it's not acceptable, he's in pain and if anyone like a dr saw it he'd be taken away. And say if she doesn't grow up and be a mother you just won't give him back. That's neglectful and probably just the very tip of the iceberg of what's going on in her house.
by on Feb. 10, 2014 at 9:29 AM

Honestly I would tell her you want to keep him. If your seeing that there is so much more your not seeing, Can you call your mom and talk to her or sit her down calm and tell her that if she doesn't just leave him you will call cps or something.

by on Feb. 10, 2014 at 9:30 AM
2 moms liked this

 I'd call cps/police and file neglect and abandonment charges on her.

by Gold Member on Feb. 10, 2014 at 9:30 AM
1 mom liked this
That's dangerous, with open sores he is able to get an infection. If money is tight she should figure out cloth diapers. Otherwise she's lazy and who knows what else is neglected. I'd talk to her but if she won't listen I'd call cps for his safety. She may need that wake up call to decide if she's really ready for the responsibility of being a parent.
by Anonymous 4 on Feb. 10, 2014 at 9:31 AM

Next time she's there, have her sign a permission slip for you to take him to the doctor's  (you know, "just in case") 

then take him to have his rash looked at, if the doctor says it's really bad, then ask for assistance in reporting her. 

Would you be willing to take him in if needed?

by CAFE SASSY HBIC on Feb. 10, 2014 at 9:31 AM

I would tell her the next time she neglects her child that you will be notifying CPS/ACS.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)