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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

If this was your kid would you have punished him?

Posted by on Feb. 13, 2014 at 4:05 PM
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The other day monkey got upset with me because I wouldn't let him play his iPhone and when I was talking to him he covered his ears.

At 4 he's over the temper tantrum stage but he also doesn't have all the words to express his frustration so he resorted to covering his ears. I recognized that and since it was the first time he's done that instead of resorting straight to punishing him I decided to talk to him about it.

I told him it was disrespectful and rude to cover his ears and I didn't want to see him do that again.

He asked me if I was mad at him and I told him I wasn't but that I was disappointed in him and then when on to explain that when he's upset he needs to use his words just like he can't bite or stick his tongue out when he's mad he can't cover his ears either.

Again he asked if I was mad at him and I told him no that I was disappointed though and that was the end of our discussion.

Well a couple days later he was playing at his friends house and his mom picked him up earlier than he wanted so he got upset and told her he was disappointed in her and he wanted to stay longer.

He didn't quite use it correctly but he's learning and he didn't act out....he used his words.

His mom told me about it the next day and we both laughed about it and I explained where he got the word from. She of course wasn't upset.

Well I later retold the complete story to my dad because I thought it was amusing and he wasn't in the least bit amused and said that talking like that to an adult is disrespectful and had I or my brother talked like that as kids we would've been popped.

Am I missing something? I really don't see what he said was disrespectful. He is still learning how to express his feelings rather than act out.....like a typical 4 year old and it was a new word he was trying out. It wasn't a curse word, so I'm not seeing how it warrants a punishment.
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by on Feb. 13, 2014 at 4:05 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Lorelai_Nicole
by Lorelai on Feb. 13, 2014 at 4:08 PM
I wouldn't punish him. While to some it might sound like a snarky comment, your son probably didn't even realize that. Like you said, he was trying out a new word. No big deal, IMO. And since your friend wasn't upset, I would let it go.
Roxygurl
by Emerald Member on Feb. 13, 2014 at 4:09 PM
Nooo I'm his nanny, he told his mother he was disappointed in her. She wasn't upset that he said that to her.

Quoting Lorelai_Nicole: I wouldn't punish him. While to some it might sound like a snarky comment, your son probably didn't even realize that. Like you said, he was trying out a new word. No big deal, IMO. And since your friend wasn't upset, I would let it go.
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lenashark
by Ruby Member on Feb. 13, 2014 at 4:12 PM
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I would have disciplined him in a way to teach him that that is a disrespectful way to speak to adults. No he doesn't quite know what he's saying, but he won't learn if he's not taught. I wouldn't want my child to think it's okay to say things like that to teachers or other adults. I wouldn't have been harsh, but he would have been corrected.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 13, 2014 at 4:14 PM
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He's 4 and has an iphone?
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 13, 2014 at 4:23 PM
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There's nothing wrong with what the kid said.  

Your father seems to be of that particular mindset that kids are suposed to cower in fear and only speak when spoken to.  

Total bullshit.  

Roxygurl
by Emerald Member on Feb. 13, 2014 at 4:23 PM
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To me saying he's disappointed isn't wrong. He's expressing himself rather than resorting to covering his ears or sticking his tongue out. Granted if he had called his mom a bitch the entire scenario would've played out very differently.

Quoting lenashark:

I would have disciplined him in a way to teach him that that is a disrespectful way to speak to adults. No he doesn't quite know what he's saying, but he won't learn if he's not taught. I wouldn't want my child to think it's okay to say things like that to teachers or other adults. I wouldn't have been harsh, but he would have been corrected.

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Lorelai_Nicole
by Lorelai on Feb. 13, 2014 at 4:26 PM

LOL, oops! That's what I get to skimming your post while feeding a baby. I thought he said it to his friend's mom, haha. 

Quoting Roxygurl: Nooo I'm his nanny, he told his mother he was disappointed in her. She wasn't upset that he said that to her.

Quoting Lorelai_Nicole: I wouldn't punish him. While to some it might sound like a snarky comment, your son probably didn't even realize that. Like you said, he was trying out a new word. No big deal, IMO. And since your friend wasn't upset, I would let it go.

 

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AustinRonMommy
by Nickhole on Feb. 13, 2014 at 4:27 PM
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I wouldn't have punished him either. I have a 4yo and he uses his words...usually screaming at me. I am currently working on getting him to talk to me when he's upset as opposed to screaming at me. Any advice on that, lol.

Since his mom wasn't upset and didn't see a reason to punish him, then there was no reason to do so.
Goddesswillow
by on Feb. 13, 2014 at 4:28 PM

how cute and funny, i dont see anything wrong. Besides kids learn from observation

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 13, 2014 at 4:43 PM
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I do! tell him "i can't hear you when you yell at me, i know your upset but if you want talk to me, you need to use calm voice so i can understand and try to help" Also, (not saying you do this, just saying), don't yell at them from another room (it's not the same to us, but to them it is). Works with adults as well lol.

Quoting AustinRonMommy: I wouldn't have punished him either. I have a 4yo and he uses his words...usually screaming at me. I am currently working on getting him to talk to me when he's upset as opposed to screaming at me. Any advice on that, lol.

Since his mom wasn't upset and didn't see a reason to punish him, then there was no reason to do so.

 

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