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kind of couldnt believe it

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 9 Replies
My daughter is in capeota (Brazilian martial arts) and her instructor who should be teaching respect as well tells the kids to SHUT UP when they are chattering. It's a class of varying ages from about 4 to 9. I could not believe it. Her step mom and her family are Portuguese and enrolled and pay for this class and usually take her. However, they do not watch the class. They stay out front chatting and eating. I have to approach my ex about this today and then I will talk to the instructor tomorrow. Ugh!!!! Kind of pissed off right now.
Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 14, 2014 at 6:38 AM
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Replies (1-9):
jjames1990
by on Feb. 14, 2014 at 6:40 AM
I wouldn't be upset about it, but then I was telling my kids to shut up before they could talk.
Sister_Someone
by Rachel on Feb. 14, 2014 at 6:41 AM
1 mom liked this

Exactly this.

Quoting jjames1990: I wouldn't be upset about it, but then I was telling my kids to shut up before they could talk.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 14, 2014 at 6:46 AM

Yeah, that would bother me as well.  I find that phrase vile and despicable.  I have been a teacher for over 20 years and gave never once told my students or my own children to shut up.  I believe that you treat people with respect.  And adult role models/leaders/authority figures need to model that.  I'd definitely say something.  I don't speak to my child that way and I don't expect someone else to. 

Rust.n.Gears
by on Feb. 14, 2014 at 6:46 AM
I wouldn't be comfortable with that. It would end immediately or we would transfer to a new school.
Sister_Someone
by Rachel on Feb. 14, 2014 at 6:50 AM
1 mom liked this

Here's what genuinely puzzles me about this reasoning - isn't the notion of "stop talking for I don't wish to listen to you anymore" disrespectful in and of itself? You're basically telling someone that they shouldn't exert their right to free speech, because you don't want to hear it.

So what the hell does it matter whether I say "shut up" or "please stop talking"?

Quoting Anonymous:

Yeah, that would bother me as well.  I find that phrase vile and despicable.  I have been a teacher for over 20 years and gave never once told my students or my own children to shut up.  I believe that you treat people with respect.  And adult role models need to model that.


Bethsunshine
by on Feb. 14, 2014 at 6:51 AM
1 mom liked this


Quoting jjames1990: I wouldn't be upset about it, but then I was telling my kids to shut up before they could talk.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 14, 2014 at 7:09 AM
1 mom liked this

In the context of a teacher/instructor working with a bunch of kids the message is more along the lines of, "Now isn't the appropriate time for you to be talking.  There are directions that you and others need to hear.  We can chit-chat later."

And the fact still remains, you should speak to people respectfully.  You wouldn't walk down the street or through an office shouting, "Move it!" or "Outta my way!".  You say, "Excuse me."   You don't request something by saying, "Gimmy that".  You say, "May I please have ____ " or "Can you please pass me ____ ".

It never ceases to amaze me that parents model disrespectful behavior day in and day out but are somehow shocked when their kids are disrespectful.   If all they ever see is a live action Jerry Springer episode, then they think that's how people treat each other.  They think that's how you talk to people.  And that's just not the way the real world works.

Quoting Sister_Someone:

Here's what genuinely puzzles me about this reasoning - isn't the notion of "stop talking for I don't wish to listen to you anymore" disrespectful in and of itself? You're basically telling someone that they shouldn't exert their right to free speech, because you don't want to hear it.

So what the hell does it matter whether I say "shut up" or "please stop talking"?

Quoting Anonymous:

Yeah, that would bother me as well.  I find that phrase vile and despicable.  I have been a teacher for over 20 years and gave never once told my students or my own children to shut up.  I believe that you treat people with respect.  And adult role models need to model that.



mrspeterrabbit
by Platinum Member on Feb. 14, 2014 at 7:13 AM
Im ok with that, but I wouldnt be outside......I would be in their watching my child(ren).
julie515
by Gold Member on Feb. 14, 2014 at 9:52 AM

I would point out to him that martial arts is all about respect. Respecting your elders, yourself, your opponent, and so on. If he cannot have the respect of his pupils from the moment they walk in, he is losing everyone's respect by disrespecting them in such a way.

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