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Do you agree or disagree with this marriage advice? *Updated

Posted by Anonymous
  • 19 Replies
1 mom liked this

I am fans of a couple on facebook who organize and lead marriage retreats. This is their advice they had for wives today. (Don't worry they also listed advice for husbands).  Do you agree or disagree with this? Please elaborate!


Earlier today we did a post for the wives, so here’s one for the husbands too. Marriage isn’t about having a trophy mate, but having a trophy marriage. If you get any of these things for your husband for Valentine's Day, you’re sure to get a thumbs up.

Wives, none of these things cost a lot of money, but they are invaluable to your husband … and marriage. So here are a few tips to make your husband one happy boy …

1. Promise to never use the silent treatment again. This silent treatment is about the most unhealthy form of communication that there is. Instead of the silent treatment, just try sharing your heart in a kind way.

2. Give your husband lots of praise, both privately and publicly. Your husband LOVES to be bragged on, and if you can’t find something to brag on him about, you’re not looking hard enough. You should be your husband’s biggest fan … and let him know it. Lea is my biggest cheerleader. I love it when she tells me I look nice, that I’m a good dad or after 25 years I still turn her on. Husbands are motivated by your praise. While we’re on the subject, NEVER belittle or criticize your husband in public or to your girlfriends.

3. Put your marriage on the front burner. Jobs, children, and hobbies all come second to your relationship with your husband. The only relationship more important than your marriage is your relationship with God.

4. Make your love life sizzle. Most likely your husband’s number one need is sexual fulfillment. Fulfilling his needs should never come across as a chore, but as a priority. Choose to be the instigator when it comes to sex in your marriage, and never withhold sex from your husband as a punishment for something he’s done wrong.

5. Dress to please your husband. Believe it or not, like it or not, your husband first took notice of you because of your physical appearance, and I’m guessing he still likes to notice your physical appearance so don’t ever take for granted your physical appearance. Everyone knows that men are visually stimulated so dress with the goal of pleasing him. I’m not saying you have to be a trophy wife, but do the best with what you have. Pick out clothes that he’s particularly fond of and remember that face cream, rollers in your hair and an old pink bathrobe should not be the norm for how he sees you.

6. Take an interest in something he likes to do. Educate yourself on your husband’s hobbies so you can talk about things he likes to talk about. If your husband likes to fish, hunt, golf, work on cars, etc. … learn to take interest in those things. Be your husband’s best friend and spend time doing things he likes to do. Lea has learned to love baseball, talk running and take interest in things that I find interesting. Some of the best memories you can make together are when you’re spending time together doing things he loves to do.

7. Get rid of an item of clothing he hates. Remember how we talked about men being visually stimulated? I’m going to guess there’s something in your closet that does the opposite of visually stimulating your husband. An old bathrobe, full-bodied footed pajamas, an ugly pair of sweatpants you wear to bed every night. Ask him sometime, “What’s one thing I wear that you’d love for me to get rid of?” and then get rid of it without getting your feelings hurt.

8. Make him a coupon book. Whether they’re naughty or nice, every husband would love a little book of hand made coupons for everything from a night out on the town to a massage.

9. Be a godly woman. Put as much effort into being as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside (1 Peter 3:1-4).

10. Make it a habit to start every day with a kiss … and then greet him with a hug and kiss when he arrives home too.

UPDATE.............. Someone was asking what the advice for husbands was, here it is:


So here are a few tips for men that will make your wives really happy…

1. Commit to making date night a weekly activity. Check your calendar, find a babysitter and go out on a date every week. Something as simple as supper together or a movie can greatly strengthen your relationship. Make sure you focus on one another, not on checking on the kids or texting on your phone.

2. Write her a romantic note. Whether you use paper and pen, or type it on the computer, just get it done. Tell her 10 things you like about her or remind her that she still rocks your world.

3. Always talk about her in a positive light. Say praising things to others about her … especially if she’s present. Find something to compliment her on everyday.

4. Learn the art of “non-sexual touching.” For some men non-sexual touching is an oxymoron. It’s two words that don’t go together, but what wives needs sometimes is their hand held, their hair stroked or their shoulder’s rubbed in a non-sexual way. This is called affection, and it is most likely your wife’s number one need. Understand though, affection is not a precursor to sex.

5. Pray for her. Spend some time during your day praying for your wife, and then tell her that you did, or even better, pray with her. Ask her if she’ll spend a few moments praying with you. There is NO time in my marriage that I feel more oneness and intimacy than when I’m praying with my wife.

6. Help her around the house. We’re not talking about changing the oil in the car, but more like running a vacuum, washing the dishes or helping out with the kids on a regular basis. Whoever came up with the idea that the man’s only job in marriage is to “make a living” told a BIG fat lie.

7. Take an interest in something your wife likes. You did this before you were married, why not do it again. Go shopping with her or watch a television show with her that she likes, but take an interest in her likes. You can’t find two people more different than Lea and I, but we have learned to like each other’s interests and hobbies. Try it … you might be surprised. Some of the things she likes might be fun.

8. Be the spiritual leader in your home. Most wives wants you to be the spiritual leader in the home. It’s actually the way God designed it. A real men isn’t satisfied with just providing for their families, but want to do everything God designed them to do. Here are some example: Read your bible with your family. Pray with your children. Model integrity for your family to see.

9. Value your marriage. We value our homes, cars and other material possessions, but our relationships are the most valuable things we have. What we put into our relationships and marriage is what we’ll get out of them. Make your marriage a priority and find value in it.

10. Cook dinner one night. I hear men often say while taking their family out for dinner, “It was my turn to cook.” That’s the easy way out. Try actually cooking some night, AND then make sure you clean up after yourself when you’re done.

(The list for wives later)

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 14, 2014 at 2:11 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by Emerald Member on Feb. 14, 2014 at 2:13 PM

Sure. Why not.

Well I mean we don't do the whole god thing, but if you're into that sort of thing go for it.

And the coupon book is a little too cheesy for us. 

by Silver Member on Feb. 14, 2014 at 2:15 PM

I absolutely agree with this - great advice!  It reminds me of that book, "Light his fire". 

by on Feb. 14, 2014 at 2:15 PM

I do follow it. The better I treat him, the nicer he is. Just makes the whole house happier.

by Platinum Member on Feb. 14, 2014 at 2:17 PM

Get rid of all the God references and sure.

by Platinum Member on Feb. 14, 2014 at 2:17 PM
Yep. And it works too
by Platinum Member on Feb. 14, 2014 at 2:17 PM

I think it all sounds good. What was the advice for husbands?

by Ruby Member on Feb. 14, 2014 at 2:18 PM
We do the love languages.
by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 14, 2014 at 2:22 PM
Meh, we aren't into the whole godly thing. But generally this sounds like good advice. I think it should go either way though, not just for wives to follow. I want my man to look good for me, too!

I dislike that they said his number one need is probably sexual fulfillment. I do believe it's important to have a healthy sex life, but good most important need? Really? Having a healthy and happy family doesn't top the list? But maybe I'm just arguing semantics here.
by Bronze Member on Feb. 14, 2014 at 2:27 PM

for wives;;;I disagree with #3 strongly, and somewhat with #5 and #7

for husbands:  #8. ARE YOU FRIGGIN KIDDING ME? God "designed"  a man to be spiritual leader of the family? Really? Just men? Is that why there are so many more women attending services, in various forms of religion, than men?

by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 14, 2014 at 2:28 PM

I updated it for you :)

Quoting Lauriemom:

I think it all sounds good. What was the advice for husbands?

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