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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Should bm feel comfortable?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 59 Replies
Apparently bm wants to sit down with me and have a conversation. One "to help with her comfort level and hopefully mine as well."

Ok, sure. If you feel like crying when I tell you exactly what I think of you and put you in your place. We certainly can have this little sit down.

She thinks that she should be made to feel comfortable when she comes to my home. I watch ss when she works everyday. So we see her often.
She isn't comfortable because I am not chatty and smiley with her. I am not rude, but it's kept simple and short. I don't make conversation, but will answer parenting questions she has. She isn't allowed to just come in my house and go in my kitchen to put things she brought for ss away. (Like if she brought food for him to eat for a snack or whatever or to put her work schedule on my fridge where we keep it). She is to just give it to us....and we will take care of it.
Also, we have a family cell phone she contacts is on. Dh doesn't have one of his own...his choice. It was to cut down on her bs.
Back story. She's a wanna be home wrecker. If she wasn't, sure! Let's chat it up and be friendly!
She has sent my dh pics with half her bra hanging out of her tank top, one even had part of her areola in it. She bought him this 6 inch lighter that said "I want someone real bad. Are you real bad?" He handed it right back to her. He's handled each situation and I've said things to her as well. But she still keeps doing this whoretastic shit.

So no. She is not going to be made to feel comfortable in my home. She can't respect my marriage.....she can fuck off and deal with my short, to the point attitude.

Am I a royal bitch for having this mindset? What would you say to her during this convo? Ohhh, how I'm looking forward to this conversation. I've quit saying much to her about her behavior because when I do she cries and keeps ss away. Uses him as a pawn against us. It blows. I just let dh deal with it mostly.

Btw. They were never married. Never in a relationship. It was just a one night stand type deal. My dh was an idiot. Lol. She can't let go and "will always love and respect him". Apparently self respect is out of the question for her....
Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 16, 2014 at 5:55 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 16, 2014 at 5:58 PM
Stand your ground.
lucky2Beeme
by Ruby Member on Feb. 16, 2014 at 5:59 PM
3 moms liked this

Take the high road and be polite.  Let her know you saw her pics she sent. Let her know they are inappropriate. That if she wants to have a civil relationship then she needs to stop.This woman is going to be tied to you for a long time.

Surround yourself with people that add to your life not subtract from it.

that_girl_kk
by Bronze Member on Feb. 16, 2014 at 5:59 PM

The whole arrangement sounds strange, but...when my ex drops off the kids after visitation, I've had to tell him that no, I do not want to stay and chit chat, I do not want him coming inside the house. He's not allowed to use my bathroom.


It sounds terribly uncivilized but there is a whole backstory there...things he's tried to do once he got inside, etc.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 16, 2014 at 6:00 PM
Well, what she has done is wrong, but if I wasn't comfortable with you then you wouldn't be watching my child.
EntrepeneurMom
by The Major on Feb. 16, 2014 at 6:01 PM
If she can't behave she needs the boundaries you'd set for a child!
piperhalliwell1
by Silver Member on Feb. 16, 2014 at 6:01 PM
I agree

Quoting lucky2Beeme:

Take the high road and be polite.  Let her know you saw her pics she sent. Let her know they are inappropriate. That if she wants to have a civil relationship then she needs to stop.This woman is going to be tied to you for a long time.

Ms_mom_81
by Gold Member on Feb. 16, 2014 at 6:01 PM

ekkk. Well, I don't think you should talk to her if it makes you uncomfortable. She sounds very immature.

thenameshailie
by Ruby Member on Feb. 16, 2014 at 6:01 PM

You dont have to be friends with her, no. I do think it would be a good idea to have a relationship of some sort with her though. I also doubt that the flirtations are 100% one sided if she is sending titty shots, a person can only handle so much outright rejection before they give it up.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 16, 2014 at 6:02 PM
Oh I will. But I know my normal short and to the point attitude will definitely turn a little more.....open, honest, blunt.....whatever. And then she'll cry and use ss as a pawn again.

"I'm not going to bring him to a place where I'm not made to feel comfortable". Then takes him to her pill popping addicted parents house instead of to me when she has to work for the next week. Yeah. Cause that's better for him!

Quoting Anonymous: Stand your ground.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 16, 2014 at 6:04 PM

I have to say, this is why I never dated men with kids. 

As for this sit down, I'd tell her just what you told us. It's not your job to make that wanna be homewrecker comfortable. 

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