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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

People with Aspergers are A$$holes

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 33 Replies

Not really.

However, the show Parenthood depicts the adolescent character Max as a complete jerk who is very hard to feel empathy for (hmm, I'm thinking it was easier when he was younger but the older he gets, the less likeable he becomes). For instance, he tells his friend who is in a wheelchair how stupid he is for liking basketball because he is in a wheelchair and playing wheelchair basketball would be stupid because it isn't real basketball. His dad urges him to apologize but he doesn't seem to care at all. He delivers the apology without looking at his former best friend. He is almost never anything but rude to others and acting from selfish motivations. You do feel lots of empathy for his parents who worry for him and his social life, but you don't necessarily get the sense that Max feels for anyone else ever.

The other character, Hank, who is an adult who suspects that he has undiagnosed Aspergers is even more unlikeable. He pretty much constantly belittles and dismisses the character he is most involved with, Sarah. For instance, he runs into her at a job interview that they are both going out for and without a greeting launches into incredulous inquiries into what she could be doing there because she isn't as good as he is at photography. For context, he doesn't dislike her, they are exes and he clearly holds a candle for her. So, he isn't being a dick out of dislike. Then, he shows up at her home and continues to interrogate and belittle her about the fact that she got the interview. Then, he remarks about how unqualified she is to her nephew.

No, I am not saying that these characters represent all people with aspergers. I am ASKING if this is an accurate portrayal of some people with aspergers. I know not making eye contact and picking up on social cues is common. But, actively rude and selfish? Is that common?

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 19, 2014 at 3:11 AM
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Replies (1-10):
thefiregoddess
by Ruby Member on Feb. 19, 2014 at 3:30 AM
Kinda.
We often don't realize that it was rude until later. I once pointed out to a foster sister her make up was a totally different shade than her skin and looked awful. She got horribly offended and I didn't understand why.

I'd want someone to tell me if I looked like an oompaloompa.

Ten years later I get it.
EntrepeneurMom
by The Major on Feb. 19, 2014 at 3:34 AM
Sort of. Most adults are able to reign it in eventually. Seeing as it's my SN is worse than yours day on cm I'll just add that violence is not part of the package. Violent people with asperger's are doing it irrespective of the disorder. ;)
ChewyBrownies
by Platinum Member on Feb. 19, 2014 at 3:36 AM
You told her she looked awful and you're shocked she was offended? Lol

Quoting thefiregoddess: Kinda.

We often don't realize that it was rude until later. I once pointed out to a foster sister her make up was a totally different shade than her skin and looked awful. She got horribly offended and I didn't understand why.



I'd want someone to tell me if I looked like an oompaloompa.



Ten years later I get it.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 19, 2014 at 3:40 AM
thats sort of the whole 'not understanding social cues'part.

Quoting ChewyBrownies: You told her she looked awful and you're shocked she was offended? Lol



Quoting thefiregoddess: Kinda.


We often don't realize that it was rude until later. I once pointed out to a foster sister her make up was a totally different shade than her skin and looked awful. She got horribly offended and I didn't understand why.





I'd want someone to tell me if I looked like an oompaloompa.





Ten years later I get it.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 19, 2014 at 3:40 AM
The two people I've known with Aspergers (a middle schooler and an adult) were both total assholes. Maybe they were just assholes, period, but since you asked...
thefiregoddess
by Ruby Member on Feb. 19, 2014 at 3:41 AM
Well I said something like "you have a make up line I think you need another shade."

I didn't think it was that bad of a comment.


Quoting ChewyBrownies: You told her she looked awful and you're shocked she was offended? Lol



Quoting thefiregoddess: Kinda.


We often don't realize that it was rude until later. I once pointed out to a foster sister her make up was a totally different shade than her skin and looked awful. She got horribly offended and I didn't understand why.





I'd want someone to tell me if I looked like an oompaloompa.





Ten years later I get it.
ChewyBrownies
by Platinum Member on Feb. 19, 2014 at 3:46 AM
Oh ! I thought you said something like: "your makeup doesn't match. You look awful! "lol

Quoting thefiregoddess: Well I said something like "you have a make up line I think you need another shade."



I didn't think it was that bad of a comment.




Quoting ChewyBrownies: You told her she looked awful and you're shocked she was offended? Lol





Quoting thefiregoddess: Kinda.



We often don't realize that it was rude until later. I once pointed out to a foster sister her make up was a totally different shade than her skin and looked awful. She got horribly offended and I didn't understand why.







I'd want someone to tell me if I looked like an oompaloompa.







Ten years later I get it.
notjustamomee
by Bronze Member on Feb. 19, 2014 at 3:49 AM
My son is 13 and is alot like Max. He is rude and insensitive very frequently and it is something we work on daily. It is hard because he doesn't see anyone's point of view and often times doesn't understand why others are offended when he feels he's just being honest. I admit it drives me nuts, but like I said he's a work in progress.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 19, 2014 at 3:49 AM

Oh yes, we often have no clue that we are rude until much later. We're honest to a fault, we cant understand why people don't want to be told things. If it's true, why would it bother anyone? After thought and reflection we get it, but it doesn't come in the moment.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 19, 2014 at 3:50 AM

Interesting. The only person I've ever known on the spectrum was a completely nonverbal autistic boy so I didn't have any point of reference for if these were accurate portrayals or not.

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