Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Asking older sibling to babysit

Posted by on Feb. 21, 2014 at 2:05 PM
  • 29 Replies

 As a kid I was expected to pretty much raise my youngest sister and I have a lot of resentment and issues due to that but now I am finding myself asking my oldest to watch her youngest sibling.   She is not by any means raising her.  My oldest is 17 and my youngest is 7.   She watches her mostly so I can run to the store or something usually because my youngest doesn't want to go with me and neither does the oldest.   My oldest says its fine and she really doesn't mind.  I always pay her if DH and I go on date night or like tonight I am meeting a girlfriend for dinner that I haven't seen in a while and she will be watching her sister, again she doesn't mind and I will pay her and order pizza for all of them but I still feel terribly guilty.  How often is it appropriate to ask your older child to watch the youngest?  I have found myself forcing all my kids to go with me places they dont want to go because I am so worried about leaving them too often.   Growing up I didn't get to have a social life because I was watching my sister.  My daughter tells me its no different than having a job because I do pay her and my youngest pretty much entertains herself but I still feel guilty.   I dont know what is appropriate and whats not.  Any feedback would be helpful.   

by on Feb. 21, 2014 at 2:05 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Feb. 21, 2014 at 2:11 PM
My oldest ds is almost 16. He watches his youngest siblings maybe twice a month but I pay him to do it. He also doesn't mind. Once in awhile my dd 11 will watch the younger ones.
When I was growing up I was expected to raise my younger siblings. I don't have issues from it but I do think that that was just how it was at that time.
ksputman
by Member on Feb. 21, 2014 at 2:12 PM

My daughter is 15 and my son is a year old she watches him when i jump in the shower or little things like that that takes maybe 15min.  if i do ask her to watch him to go somewhere i make sure she has nothing planned and i pay her, if she already has things going on there is no way i would ask her unless its an emergency and if she ever complained about it i wouldnt ask her again.  She likes spending time with her brother and getting paid for it, it gives her a source of income so according to her she wont complain lol

PeppermintyTea
by Emerald Member on Feb. 21, 2014 at 2:13 PM
I think if it doesn't bother your daughter, and it's not an everyday thing it's fine. I would just remind her to let you know if she would rather not babysit, and it wouldn't be a problem.
mojogirl
by RoseannRoseannadanna on Feb. 21, 2014 at 2:14 PM
Might be helpful to know how often she's babysitting. It helps that you pay her but I get why you're concerned.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 21, 2014 at 2:16 PM
My step children are all much older than my dd and watch her occasionally. If it is for a night out, we pay them. If it is for fifteen minutes so I can run to the store or shower, I don't. As long as it isn't excessive, it's just what families do. They pitch in and help each other.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Feb. 21, 2014 at 2:16 PM

That sounds fine. I was expected to babysit my younger siblings, but not raise them. I wasn't paid for it, it was considered a part of being part of the family, like doing the dishes or feeding the cats. It's completely normal to have an older child babysit.

Jenniy
by Platinum Member on Feb. 21, 2014 at 2:17 PM

My DD is 14, she will watch her brothers for a bit for me to grocery shop, go to Walmart or whatever and she gets paid for it.  She doesn't mind because she gets to play on Sims 3 the entire time I'm gone and get paid for it! lol (She does change her baby brother and refill his water bottle) There's been a few times she's told me that I look stressed so she'd watch the boys for me to get out of the house for a bit. lol As long as your DD truely doesn't mind watching her younger siblings I don't see a problem with it.

mom_dl6
by on Feb. 21, 2014 at 2:18 PM
1 mom liked this

That's seriously NO Big deal...Drop the guilt it's a waste of emotion. You're a good Mom!   And if it's NOT a biggie to your 17 yr. old DD  to hang out with("watch") her 7 yr. old Sister then AWESOME.   

simple smile

Stephw1110
by Silver Member on Feb. 21, 2014 at 2:20 PM

I think if she's okay with it, you're compensating her for it , and you aren't taking advantage of it, it's fine.  A little responsibility never anyone.  

Lordgodempress
by Gold Member on Feb. 21, 2014 at 2:21 PM


Quoting mojogirl: Might be helpful to know how often she's babysitting. It helps that you pay her but I get why you're concerned.

She is alone with her sister about once a week ( for when I buy groceries or something but its not usually longer than an hour a week) and she watches her for us to go out every 3-4 months if that much and that when I pay her.  She never has to cancel plans ( if she has plans, I just drag my youngest with me) or anything its just a matter of we are all home doing nothing and have to run a quick errand

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN