He will not stop me from putting this kid up for adoption! ETA. Updated again for the reading impaired.
I get this text from my ex this morning saying he's signing the Punitive Father Registry. This basically means he's asserting rights over my fetus-something he hasn't done in the past 36 weeks. He's never been to an appointment, never tried to help with anything, he's even denied his paternity regarding this fetus. The only thing he's done is go to one appointment with the adoption agency. He claimed to have mailed the papers two weeks ago, and then said they got sent back to him. I know he never mailed them. He's lazy and not taking this seriously.
I can't even fuction I'm so mad. I've contacted four lawyers-two in my area and two in the area I'm delivering at (about two hours away). I have one consultation set up for down here on Friday and one for up there on Tuesday.
I hope this is some sort of idle threat from him. I'm so pissed off, and hurt. I don't get how he can threaten court with me, but the other kid he has he's never gone to court over that one.
And before some asshat asks why I don't just give him custody and sign over my rights-he's not fit to be a father, to any kid. He's not fit to have custody of a goldfish. Like I said, he's never went for visitaiton of the first kid he has, he gets her once a week and not overnights. He lives with his parents who smoke like freight trains and have a history of domestic violence as recent as December. They are not fit people in general. I'd rather this baby have a chance at being normal, and a better life than that.
What a shitty day.
I fully believe that he doesn't want to parent any child. He's fine with being a one day a week father, just to play daddy sometimes. I know he's doing this just to try and make me miserable. Just Saturday he sent me a text saying, "If you decide to keep it, don't let me know about it. I'll be fine if I don't know if you kept it or not. I just ask that you not tell me and you move." He wants me to move because the house I live in is the house we moved in to together and it hurts him that he doesn't live there.
I'll add, even though it's really not relevant, the night we broke up, was super violent. He accused me of cheating. He pushed me against a wall and choked me. I was repeatedly thrown on beds and thrown in to walls. After he finally left, he came back later and literally spit in my face to wake me up. Twice. The police were called twice after he moved out. Once when I called due to the fighting and him physically assualting my then five hear old. Another time, a person driving by called the police because I was sitting in my car, trying to leave, and he was leaning through the door choking me. Someone drove by and called the cops. He's made statements since about he hates himself because he's "just like my dad when I get mad."
When I say domestic violence in his parents house, I don't mean just arguements. I mean the last time he told be about it in Decemeber, his dad gave his mom a black eye and bruised or broke her ribs because he pushed her in to something. Don't get be started on the drama between his parents and his sister.
I understand every family has drama, I have my own, but I don't live with my parents and I don't put my child throught that on a regular basis. I avoid my family like the plague.
It's funny how five days ago he was fine with me keeping and him not being involved, and now, after I told him last night I didn't love him anymore, he texts me this morning saying he's going to sign the registry.
He's doing this out of spite and because he's hurt. Not because he cares about a child's life or wants what's best for it.
Since stalkers seem to want to come here and be assholes, I'll update again.
He's since withdrawn his wanting to sign the registry. He said he never intended to do it to assert any rights, or to stop the adoption. He said the thought that I was trying to keep him out of the loop, since I was switching agencies. I asked if he wanted information about the lawyer I'm going to, and I told him he didn'T really have to sign the papers, but I asked if he still wanted to. He said no, he doesn't care either way. I told him I'd rather him sign them so we are legally covered and he said to just give them to him and he will.
He wanted no rights. He just wanted some sort of control over the situation. I never said I was leaving him out. I just told him that the other agency lied about some things and I didn't feel comfortable using them anymore.
In any other post, people would say not to allow their child around all this mess but all of a sudden he's allowed to bring an infant into domestic violence. Hmm.. If you people really think this is a situation a child needs to be in, you should rethink being parents yourselves.