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Alcohol, Drugs & odd behaviors - any thoughts?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 5 Replies

My husband is a 50+ yr old obese male.  He's always been a big drinker but what is considered a functioning alcoholic who holds down a job, supplies for his family and enjoys life until drinking time which used to start after the kids went off to bed.  

About 4 years ago, he started drinking when he got home from work instead of waiting till bedtime.  He stopped going to functions that would interfere with his drinking time.  He rarely would go to baseball games or take the kids to activities.  He's say he was tired after a long day working and I'd just do it without complaint.  I think I made it too easy on him.

About 2 years ago, he started with some odd behaviors once in a while.  He'd mumble, forget things, say totally inappropriate things in front of the kids, scream and yell and not remember, pass out while talking to me, pee himself, spit up and most annoyingly, make this weird "EEEEEEWWWWWW" noise that would last forever.  It drives us crazy.  He'll do it sitting in his chair or in his room so I don't think it's just for attention.  He doesn't do it out of the house but he doesn't drink out of the house.

He's made a couple comments about crushing or snorting percocets.  I know he used to have access to them but he switched doctors and I have no idea whether he still has an ongoing prescription.  I've asked if he still takes them but he says no.  He's always kept them hidden in his truck and keeps his keys on his person all the time.

Has anyone any experience with this odd behavior?  Is it typical for using drugs or just an odd behavior?  

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 27, 2014 at 8:13 AM
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Replies (1-5):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 27, 2014 at 8:20 AM

Sounds like pill popping (Addict) behavior. Honestly if you were me which you're not. It would be ultimatum time in my household. "I'll help you through it, but (This will happen) if something doesn't change."

heidi749
by Canadian on Feb. 27, 2014 at 8:24 AM

Sounds like the alcohol is becoming a big health problem..... If he is mixing it with heavy perception drugs like percocet, that can create even more health problems.... I would really try talking him into getting into a facility that will allow him to detox the right way so he does not need to rely on alcohol or drugs to get through his day..... Good luck with him..

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 27, 2014 at 8:59 PM

My fear with an ultimatum is that I would have to follow through and that would likely be divorce.  In that, he would get partial custody of my children and would have them for overnights with this behavior.  He has everyone hoodwinked that he is an awesome day.  Everyone loves him because he's funny and outgoing until he gets stupid at night.  Oddly enough, he's still straight right now.  We'll see what the next hour or so brings.

Quoting Anonymous:

Sounds like pill popping (Addict) behavior. Honestly if you were me which you're not. It would be ultimatum time in my household. "I'll help you through it, but (This will happen) if something doesn't change."


Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 28, 2014 at 7:35 AM

If he's on drugs and drinking every night. That is typically a very proven point. You tell them that he even MAY be using drugs, or consistantly drinking. They have to prove he's not. And it's better than staying with a man willingly knowing what he's doing. If you try and help him through it. Than you're doing the right thing, and if he is refusing to work with you. Than he's not worth it. I'm sorry. That is my opinion but I really have to know why you would stay with a man, who comes right home drinks, misses his childrens activities... No that's not ok :(!

Quoting Anonymous:

My fear with an ultimatum is that I would have to follow through and that would likely be divorce.  In that, he would get partial custody of my children and would have them for overnights with this behavior.  He has everyone hoodwinked that he is an awesome day.  Everyone loves him because he's funny and outgoing until he gets stupid at night.  Oddly enough, he's still straight right now.  We'll see what the next hour or so brings.

Quoting Anonymous:

Sounds like pill popping (Addict) behavior. Honestly if you were me which you're not. It would be ultimatum time in my household. "I'll help you through it, but (This will happen) if something doesn't change."



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 28, 2014 at 7:56 AM

It's not against the law to drink and he has a Rx for his meds.  His sister has unlimited funds and would do anything needed to make sure he had custody.  I've seen what she's done in the past with his parents and neice.  He WOULD have custody of these kids at least on a part time basis.  What happens when he passes out with the stove on and they're in bed?  

He doesn't want to quit.  He thinks it's his right to have a "few" when he gets home and if I saw aything about how wasted he gets, he blames it on being tired and then straightens up for a few days.  Last night he was actually normal all night.  

You cannot make someone get help if they don't want it or recognize a problem.  

Quoting Anonymous:

If he's on drugs and drinking every night. That is typically a very proven point. You tell them that he even MAY be using drugs, or consistantly drinking. They have to prove he's not. And it's better than staying with a man willingly knowing what he's doing. If you try and help him through it. Than you're doing the right thing, and if he is refusing to work with you. Than he's not worth it. I'm sorry. That is my opinion but I really have to know why you would stay with a man, who comes right home drinks, misses his childrens activities... No that's not ok :(!

Quoting Anonymous:

My fear with an ultimatum is that I would have to follow through and that would likely be divorce.  In that, he would get partial custody of my children and would have them for overnights with this behavior.  He has everyone hoodwinked that he is an awesome day.  Everyone loves him because he's funny and outgoing until he gets stupid at night.  Oddly enough, he's still straight right now.  We'll see what the next hour or so brings.

Quoting Anonymous:

Sounds like pill popping (Addict) behavior. Honestly if you were me which you're not. It would be ultimatum time in my household. "I'll help you through it, but (This will happen) if something doesn't change."




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