Has anyone ever gone through this (depression post)
I don't post on here often but I need to vent and see if anyone else had gone through this before.
I'm really depressed, I've been battling it (and losing) since I was 13. It's been awful and at times I have been suicidal although I don't think I"m near that point right now. I just want to shut out the world. I want to shut myself down but I can't because I have three kids I have to take care of by myself (no, I'm not a single mom). I have two in school, one baby and he has been a challenge I sometimes don't think I can handle. He's got medical problems and with me on my own it's just been awful to deal with. I don't go a day without crying for at least a couple hours. I've had NO help from anyone since he was born, even if I've asked (and I don't ask people for things ever so if I do it means I'm desperate). I do the best I can in taking care of my kids but I don't take care of myself, my marriage, or my home as well as I should. I just don't feel like doing anything. I have no hobbies or interests, no time for anything. My "me time" is browsing facebook but I'm about to delete it. I feel like everyone is talking about me behind my back and secretly hate me. I only have 2 friends I hang out with or talk to and both of them have started drama with me over nothing. One went off on me when I asked if she could help me with my son because I was at the point where I felt very overwhelmed and the other started yelling at me because my husband and I are better off than she is and I had said something about being down. I just want to shut everyone off, shut everyone down.
I'm deleteting facebook, shutting my phone off, and just not leaving the house unless it's to take my kids to school or to get groceries.
I"m not looking for anyone to say "you need help". Getting help isn't an option. I just wanted to know if anyone has ever been through this so I know I'm not alone.