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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Her first detention and I dont think she should be in detention....**UPDATE***

DD has never been a trouble maker. she is non violent, not agressive at all (actually tends to be taken advantage of, and lets the kids get aggressive and violent with her with no retaliation) she usually responds to bullying and/or anger by having an anxiety attack and running away. 

she had a poster project this week, and she was bringing it to class yesterday, it was rolled up and she was trying to get it into class. she accidentally turned around and bumped another kid with the poster. now, its not a big giant one, its not heavy. its basically paper. but this kid threw a huge fit about it, but when the teacher talked to DD about it, and DD tried to say it was an accident and she said sorry, the teacher said 'we dont hurt other students, you are going to detention' 


I feel torn between momma bear going up to the school and demanding to know whats going on with this teacher (this isnt the first time DD tried to talk to her and the teacher blew her off) 

but also torn between cutting the cord and letting DD learn the realities of the world, that life is not always fair, and sometimes shit happens. 

what do you think??? 



ok so i talked to the teacher after school today. 

and my non violent, non agressive, usually bullied, little doormat of a girl, is aparently all of a sudden punching and kicking and pushing all the kids. 

she has been with this teacher for 3 weeks now. and this is the first time i have EVER heard of her being physical! ever, in any grade, by any teacher!

But the teacher says she always makes sure there is witnesses so that it is not a he said she said. 


I went to the office and have set up an IEP meeting for monday morning. 

Because there are 2 possibilities going through my mind. 


either A, DD is indeed becoming agressive and i need to know WHY, and WHAT is going on in that classroom to make her suddenly agressive and violent. 

or B, it is indeed an accident when she bumps into someone or turns around too fast (which is what she told me, which i dont really doubt because she is a clumsy little thing) and the kids all back eachother up and say 'oh yeah she pushed on purpose!!'

That happened to me as a child. one kid would make some shit up, and all the other kids would back them up. 

i was the weird kid nobody liked. my daughter is also the weird kid, though im thankful she has a few friends. 

but i will NOT just let those brats treat her like this. 


by on Feb. 28, 2014 at 10:47 AM
Replies (21-30):
FelineTopic
by on Feb. 28, 2014 at 12:12 PM
I would be at the school talking to the teacher. It was an accident and the kid who threw the fit is a whiney shithead......
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JuneCleaver256
by Silver Member on Feb. 28, 2014 at 12:13 PM
Yup, but she wouldn't be punished for it at all. Op's daughter is being punished for an accident.

Quoting TheSilence: A detention isn't comparable to assault charges. If a teacher hit a child in the face accidentally she would definitely have to fill out a report and probably speak to the parents of the child.
When you hurt someone there are consequences.
Children can stand up for themselves, but you can't deny something that happened even if it was accidentally.

Quoting JuneCleaver256: So if the teacher accidentally stepped on a kids toes should we charge her with assault? Maybe suspend her without pay? Yeah life not fair but when did we stop teaching our children to stand up for themselves? What a joke.

Quoting TheSilence: As long as it was just detention I would just let it be. Life sometimes sucks and isn't fair.
Even if we don't mean to hurt someone we have to learn that sorry doesn't undo what's been done.
Now if she was getting into more serious trouble I think I would step in and discuss it.
sam12796
by Platinum Member on Feb. 28, 2014 at 12:14 PM
She shouldn't be punished for that!! I would be speaking to someone. An intentional hit or an accident resulting in injury sure.
JRSMOM0621
by on Feb. 28, 2014 at 12:15 PM

I would still talk to the teacher. The teacher was being an ass. If I was sent for that I would hope my mom came and at least talked to the teacher. Yes I would be upset I still had to go but I would still feel protected. I was sent to detention for being late to schol after drs appointments. My mom had a talk with the school but I still had to go to that dumb place. But at least we knew and understood WHY that rule was there.

Proud mommy of 1 special angel and 2 boys :-) I am love animals, dogs & horses are my favorites. I am the kind of person that you would consider weird and that is okay by me :D I am interested in the why of things not just the how. I also ask the most random questions like why is it considered littering when it is biodegradable?
TheSilence
by Tá mé an mó on Feb. 28, 2014 at 12:15 PM
She's being punished for not being aware if her surroundings and hurting someone else.

Quoting JuneCleaver256: Yup, but she wouldn't be punished for it at all. Op's daughter is being punished for an accident.

Quoting TheSilence: A detention isn't comparable to assault charges. If a teacher hit a child in the face accidentally she would definitely have to fill out a report and probably speak to the parents of the child.
When you hurt someone there are consequences.
Children can stand up for themselves, but you can't deny something that happened even if it was accidentally.

Quoting JuneCleaver256: So if the teacher accidentally stepped on a kids toes should we charge her with assault? Maybe suspend her without pay? Yeah life not fair but when did we stop teaching our children to stand up for themselves? What a joke.

Quoting TheSilence: As long as it was just detention I would just let it be. Life sometimes sucks and isn't fair.
Even if we don't mean to hurt someone we have to learn that sorry doesn't undo what's been done.
Now if she was getting into more serious trouble I think I would step in and discuss it.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Feb. 28, 2014 at 12:16 PM

I would go all mama bear because she didn't hurt the kid and it wasn't on purpose.  I wouldn't want my kid labelled as a trouble maker if she did nothing wrong.

If my kid was a little shit and I knew it, that's something different.

Memere60
by on Feb. 28, 2014 at 12:17 PM


Quoting momtolittleg: Accident or not, it's freaking paper. I've whapped my students playfully on the head with a rolled up piece of paper before. Unless she hauled back and tried to take him down with the poster, the teacher is being ridiculous and the offended child who pitched a fit needs to be taken down a few notches. I normally defend teachers, but this is stupid.

This.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Feb. 28, 2014 at 12:17 PM
Most if the mama bear posts on here are them bitching about their kid getting a punishment/bad grade/etc. that the kid totally deserved. In your case, however, she didn't deserve it. I would probably make the phone call...like you said...at least to find out what happened and also express concerns about how the teacher has treated your daughter. I would not let that go if the whole thing really was an accident.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Feb. 28, 2014 at 12:18 PM
She is your daughter, if she tells you it was an accident, and this teacher has had problems with her and has been unfair in the past, you need to figure out what the underlying cause for this teachers reasoning is. Maybe go in and talk to the teacher and her at the same time, find out if there is more to the story. But if you sit back and do nothing you risk loosing the trust and respect of your dd.
The same thing happened to me in middle school. I was being bullied by a teacher, repeatedly. My mom kept saying she believed me but wouldn't do anything. I learned a hard lesson, that life isn't fair and that I needed to stand up for myself because no one else would. That is also around the time I stopped trusting my mother, or going to her with my problems.
twinkersmom
by Member on Feb. 28, 2014 at 12:25 PM

If the teacher didn't see it happen, she should punish both kids.

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