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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Her first detention and I dont think she should be in detention....**UPDATE***

DD has never been a trouble maker. she is non violent, not agressive at all (actually tends to be taken advantage of, and lets the kids get aggressive and violent with her with no retaliation) she usually responds to bullying and/or anger by having an anxiety attack and running away. 

she had a poster project this week, and she was bringing it to class yesterday, it was rolled up and she was trying to get it into class. she accidentally turned around and bumped another kid with the poster. now, its not a big giant one, its not heavy. its basically paper. but this kid threw a huge fit about it, but when the teacher talked to DD about it, and DD tried to say it was an accident and she said sorry, the teacher said 'we dont hurt other students, you are going to detention' 


I feel torn between momma bear going up to the school and demanding to know whats going on with this teacher (this isnt the first time DD tried to talk to her and the teacher blew her off) 

but also torn between cutting the cord and letting DD learn the realities of the world, that life is not always fair, and sometimes shit happens. 

what do you think??? 



ok so i talked to the teacher after school today. 

and my non violent, non agressive, usually bullied, little doormat of a girl, is aparently all of a sudden punching and kicking and pushing all the kids. 

she has been with this teacher for 3 weeks now. and this is the first time i have EVER heard of her being physical! ever, in any grade, by any teacher!

But the teacher says she always makes sure there is witnesses so that it is not a he said she said. 


I went to the office and have set up an IEP meeting for monday morning. 

Because there are 2 possibilities going through my mind. 


either A, DD is indeed becoming agressive and i need to know WHY, and WHAT is going on in that classroom to make her suddenly agressive and violent. 

or B, it is indeed an accident when she bumps into someone or turns around too fast (which is what she told me, which i dont really doubt because she is a clumsy little thing) and the kids all back eachother up and say 'oh yeah she pushed on purpose!!'

That happened to me as a child. one kid would make some shit up, and all the other kids would back them up. 

i was the weird kid nobody liked. my daughter is also the weird kid, though im thankful she has a few friends. 

but i will NOT just let those brats treat her like this. 


by on Feb. 28, 2014 at 10:47 AM
Replies (31-40):
AtillaTheHun
by facta, non verba on Feb. 28, 2014 at 12:27 PM
This.

I'd be at the school in a heartbeat.


Quoting egrzesik91:

It was an accident. 

Defend her!

awesomemommy2
by Gold Member on Feb. 28, 2014 at 12:30 PM

I think it depends.  Yes it was on accident but she did hit the kid.  My guess (as a teacher) is that all the kids were warned (as she was probably not the only one with the rolled up poster) to keep them carefully in front of them, etc. so that they do not hit anyone else, no using them as swords, etc.   

She failed to adhere to this on accident or not.   

I would use this as a teaching moment.

JP-StrongForTwo
by on Feb. 28, 2014 at 9:59 PM
1 mom liked this

ok so i talked to the teacher after school today. 

and my non violent, non agressive, usually bullied, little doormat of a girl, is aparently all of a sudden punching and kicking and pushing all the kids. 

she has been with this teacher for 3 weeks now. and this is the first time i have EVER heard of her being physical! ever, in any grade, by any teacher!

But the teacher says she always makes sure there is witnesses so that it is not a he said she said. 


I went to the office and have set up an IEP meeting for monday morning. 

Because there are 2 possibilities going through my mind. 


either A, DD is indeed becoming agressive and i need to know WHY, and WHAT is going on in that classroom to make her suddenly agressive and violent. 

or B, it is indeed an accident when she bumps into someone or turns around too fast (which is what she told me, which i dont really doubt because she is a clumsy little thing) and the kids all back eachother up and say 'oh yeah she pushed on purpose!!'

That happened to me as a child. one kid would make some shit up, and all the other kids would back them up. 

i was the weird kid nobody liked. my daughter is also the weird kid, though im thankful she has a few friends. 

but i will NOT just let those brats treat her like this. 


Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Feb. 28, 2014 at 10:29 PM
1 mom liked this

Regardless of witnesses it is ALWAYS a he-said she-said unless there is visual evidence proving otherwise. My DD was the exact same in primary school -she was bullied constantly but the children would all lie and say that nobody touched her and she just "went psycho" (her retaliating to them hitting her/spitting/etc). It was insane.

JP-StrongForTwo
by on Mar. 1, 2014 at 2:54 AM
Quoting Anonymous:

Regardless of witnesses it is ALWAYS a he-said she-said unless there is visual evidence proving otherwise. My DD was the exact same in primary school -she was bullied constantly but the children would all lie and say that nobody touched her and she just "went psycho" (her retaliating to them hitting her/spitting/etc). It was insane.




Agree its insane. That's where I am torn. On one hand I don't want to baby her. But I also dont want her in that position If that is what is going on
munky.wench
by Gold Member on Mar. 1, 2014 at 2:59 AM
1 mom liked this

Maybe she is tired of the other kids treating her bad and is retaliating in the only way she can think of.  My daughter got tired of a bully after a year of stupid stuff and windmilled that brat in the head. It was so hard to play the stern angry parent when you are kind of proud of them, lol.

cdjd23
by Gold Member on Mar. 1, 2014 at 3:03 AM
If she has been violent for 3 weeks why is this incident the first time she is receiving detention? That is something I would be asking and why you hadn't been contacted when it started to happened. With schools being so "anti bullying" the time line and lack of communication on their part seems odd.
JP-StrongForTwo
by on Mar. 1, 2014 at 3:09 AM

The teacher claims she has been leaving me messages and trying to call. i havent gotten a single one. and she has the right number, i get the weekly voicemail that the school does just fine. 

this teacher sends no notes home, nothing. i had actually been thinking about talking to the teacher about some communication before this happened. 

i may be a helicopter mom to a special snowflake. but im used to getting at LEAST weekly notes from her teacher letting me know whats going on. if the teacher was having a problem with her, i should have heard about it by now kwim? 

Quoting cdjd23: If she has been violent for 3 weeks why is this incident the first time she is receiving detention? That is something I would be asking and why you hadn't been contacted when it started to happened. With schools being so "anti bullying" the time line and lack of communication on their part seems odd.


BelleVernonGirl
by Gold Member on Mar. 1, 2014 at 3:14 AM
2 moms liked this

See this is where you're a better person than me b/c what I would say is well if you're going to get into trouble for "beating him" then fucking do it right...and then when the school calls and says well your dd beat this boy up I'd say did she now...NOW you can out her in detention...

He wants to act like a pussy then he should be beat like one...

God I'm such a bitch...ever have one of those days where you get on your own nerves?  Ya that's me today...

NiceMom06
by Gold Member on Mar. 1, 2014 at 3:18 AM
Something is not right.
She could just be sick of everyone treating her bad.
Or the kids are lying....
I would ask for a different teacher, why has she only had this teacher for three weeks?
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