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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

My pro-life brother found out his wife had an abortion before they dated...wdyt?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 128 Replies

They've been married for a year, dated for 2 before that. Two days ago she told him she had an abortion when she was 16 because "the condom broke" and she didn't want to have a baby. She told him it totally casually, and said she doesn't regret it at all.

My brother is very pro-life. He doesn't talk about it much, but he's very passionate about it. He said he sees her differently now, and that it wouldn't be as bad if she was sorry or regretted it, but he's disgusted with how she feels about it and talks about it. 

He was coming up here to go ice fishing with my DH last night, so he broke down and told me all this. He said he doesn't know how to face her or what to do. When he said he thought they should talk to a pastor about this, she laughed (she's not religious, he's not strict but considers himself Christian) and said "what for?". 

Do you think she should have told him before they got married? I'm at a loss about what to say to him. Would you recommend he ask her again about counselling? 


Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 1, 2014 at 2:34 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Sparklepants747
by Queen Annie on Mar. 1, 2014 at 2:37 PM
24 moms liked this

 He needs to get over it, it has nothing to do with him and she had no responsibility to tell him. 

belindah
by Silver Member on Mar. 1, 2014 at 2:37 PM

They need to talk.  Communication is going to be very important to hurdle this road block.

Maks1mommy
by Ruby Member on Mar. 1, 2014 at 2:38 PM
8 moms liked this

I think he needs to suck it the fuck up.

3JuJu3
by Platinum Member on Mar. 1, 2014 at 2:38 PM
8 moms liked this

She should have told him before, especially if she knew his views on it before hand.  Talking to the pastor won't help if she's not religious.  I would recommend some kind of couples therapy/counseling.  The big problem for her is that she's not taking her husband's feelings into consideration, the big problem for him is that he needs to find a way to get over what she did and move on.  It doesn't sound like either will be able to do that without some professional help. 

PinkButterfly66
by Emerald Member on Mar. 1, 2014 at 2:39 PM
4 moms liked this

I would tell him to get his head out of his f*cking ass.  It is her body and it was her choice.  I would recommend that HE gets counselling as he is the ONLY one who has a problem with it.  

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 1, 2014 at 2:40 PM

He said he's told her he was against it, but never emphasized how much or how strongly he felt, and he said he knows that's 100% his fault. But I totally agree on the rest. 

Quoting 3JuJu3:

She should have told him before, especially if she knew his views on it before hand.  Talking to the pastor won't help if she's not religious.  I would recommend some kind of couples therapy/counseling.  The big problem for her is that she's not taking her husband's feelings into consideration, the big problem for him is that he needs to find a way to get over what she did and move on.  It doesn't sound like either will be able to do that without some professional help. 


kattcooper
by Silver Member on Mar. 1, 2014 at 2:40 PM
I second this.

Quoting PinkButterfly66:

I would tell him to get his head out of his f*cking ass.  It is her body and it was her choice.  I would recommend that HE gets counselling as he is the ONLY one who has a problem with it.  

Alyssasmommy412
by Silver Member on Mar. 1, 2014 at 2:41 PM

No, it happened even before they met, he needs to get over it.

rfhsure
by beast mode on Mar. 1, 2014 at 2:41 PM
4 moms liked this
So he's upset that she doesn't feel guilt and regret over her choice because of how it makes him feel? Sounds like she needs to kick him to the curb, because he clearly doesn't have much concern for her emotional wellness.
Texor
by Platinum Member on Mar. 1, 2014 at 2:42 PM
4 moms liked this

No, she should not have told him before they married.  It was not his kid and thus none of his business.

He needs to get over himself. 

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