Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

*Updated* DD18 is pregnant and DH gave her an ultimatum

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 606 Replies
21 moms liked this
DD is 18 and in high school. She does not have a job or a boyfriend. She is 7 weeks pregnant.
DH and I are very disappointed in her and we gave her an ultimatum.
Option 1: She can keep the baby, finish school, stay here and attend college with our financial support.
Option 2: She can give the baby up for adoption, get a job and pay us rent and utilities, or move out (her choice).
Option 3: If she chooses abortion she will be given 30 days notice to leave our home with no financial or emotional support from us.

Extreme? Yes, absolutely. She knew perfectly well our stance on teen/unwed pregnancies as she grew up. She also had Chrystal clear rules and expectations. Those are her consequences as set by my husband and agreed upon by me.


Update
For those of you who continue to insist I'm punishing her for adoption, that is not the case. All of our children pay rent and utilities ($300) to us upon the completion of high school. We, in turn, allow them to move into one of our guest houses and we pay for their college tuition and books. All of our children, upon the completion of high school, may choose to stay with us and pay our rent or move out and pay rent elsewhere. We still pay for their college as long as they attend full time.

We are not religious, I have no idea where you read that. Further, we have no problem with gay people and I have no idea where you read that. Our youngest DD13 is gay, and pro choice.

All of our children have 100% access to birth control, DD18 has been in it since 16 but I think she forgot to take it.

Finally, she is not being rewarded for keeping the child, and I am not going to be raising it for her. The child would go to daycare during the days she had school, and they would live in a guest house. We chose to wave rent and utilities only so that she would have the time to be an attentive parent and a full time student, we did not think it was realistic to expect her to also work full time without the child suffering.

So far, she is leaning towards adopting out the baby, paying us rent and attending college. She feels this may be the best option for her, but is unsure about how attached she will become to the baby during pregnancy. I've let her read through this post and she would like me to state that it is HER choice, and option number three was never an option for her. She does not feel pressured, as she knew these rules all along.

Thank you for your responses.
Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 1, 2014 at 3:02 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 1, 2014 at 3:03 PM
8 moms liked this
Good for you! Stick to your guns and good luck!
rebeccarae
by on Mar. 1, 2014 at 3:04 PM
85 moms liked this
Wow, so clearly she's not allowed to do anything but keep the baby to get her parents love.
paknari
by on Mar. 1, 2014 at 3:04 PM
Eh you have been clear all along.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Mar. 1, 2014 at 3:04 PM
Well....what'd she choose?
bowribbonmama
by Ruby Member on Mar. 1, 2014 at 3:05 PM
26 moms liked this
You are shitty parents.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Mar. 1, 2014 at 3:05 PM
6 moms liked this
Sounds like you want another baby!
sfigu16
by Platinum Member on Mar. 1, 2014 at 3:06 PM
4 moms liked this
#3 seems a bit.... Psycho but not getting on that

I do feel that you are giving your daughter a good option.

Has she mentioned she wants to keep the baby?
fluffball80
by Bronze Member on Mar. 1, 2014 at 3:06 PM
8 moms liked this

I feel bad for you DD.  It seems like the only way to have your love and support is to do what you want. 

Sparklepants747
by Queen Annie on Mar. 1, 2014 at 3:06 PM
52 moms liked this

I'm sick of seeing these posts. If you loved your daughter you'd help her decide what's best for her without threatening to disown her. She didn't get pregnant on purpose I assume? 

egrzesik91
by Bronze Member on Mar. 1, 2014 at 3:07 PM
4 moms liked this

Good! If she aborts you will not be financially responsible for her and that is her consequence. She is 18 and practically an adult- she will have to be responsible for a child or without one by being on her own.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)