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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Adoption do you know how rude you are?

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http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/02/28/ignorant-things-about-adoption-_n_4859783.html?utm_hp_ref=fb&src=sp&comm_ref=false#sb=3798246,b=facebook

 

 

A woman who adopted from china put up a series of pics showing how some of you really sound to us. We adopted six and the things people say in front of and to the kids since they were little is incredible.  I can identify with  some of it even though our kids are from the US we adopted all diff races.

by on Mar. 2, 2014 at 9:40 AM
Replies (41-50):
TableforSeven
by Platinum Member on Mar. 3, 2014 at 12:56 AM

My brother and I are both adopted....we are both white and were raised by white parents (he and I are NOT blood relatives).  I heard many of these things as well -- so it isn't just kids who are a different race from their parents who hear these things.  Heck, one of our grandparents' neighbors once told my brother and I that we should get married some day since we weren't really related!  

My brother's two children are both adopted from South Korea.....he and my very Italian SIL hear a lot of rude comments as well.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 3, 2014 at 1:00 AM

Birthmoms hear plenty of stupid crap too...

momaof8
by Silver Member on Mar. 3, 2014 at 5:46 AM
Quoting Anonymous: This article disgusts me. First of all, that people say things like that. Second of all, that she made her children hold those signs like that. She can say she is empowering them, but truth is that it surely hurts them. I also find it hard to believe that those things are said to them regularly or even at all. Maybe all those comments are from a handful of people. The absolute only one that I can see her getting a lot is the one about being real sisters. That one I have heard a lot. Sounds to me like she has a chip on her shoulder and is trying to use her children for attention. I'm sure people won't agree with me and that's fine.
Oh no I can tell you we here that stuff aaaallll the time people asked me if they were all mine soo much I made it the title of a book. You would be surprised how rude complete strangers can be.
mcginnisc
by Platinum Member on Mar. 3, 2014 at 6:05 AM
1 mom liked this


Quoting Anonymous: I'm against international adoption. Leave babies in their own country!!!!! Why adopt overseas, and not from our own country? There are lots of babies/kids in America who need a living home and family.

1.) How many have you adopted from the  US? 

2.) There are more children adopted from the US foster care system than any other process

3.) There are NOT a lot of kids in the US that *need* loving homes that are available for adoption. 

4.) I'm the mom of a little girl adopted from China. :-) 

Claire


" I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 3, 2014 at 8:10 AM
Interesting. My dd is adopted and a different race than both dh and myself. Yes, we get curiosity. We very, very rarely encounter rudeness. I still think it was wrong for her to have her dd's holding those signs. From the article, I'm not the only person in the adoption community that thinks it's wrong.

Quoting momaof8:
Quoting Anonymous: This article disgusts me. First of all, that people say things like that. Second of all, that she made her children hold those signs like that. She can say she is empowering them, but truth is

that it surely hurts them. I also find it hard to believe that those things are said to them regularly or even at all. Maybe all those comments are from a handful of people. The absolute only one that I can see her getting a lot is the one about being real sisters. That one I have heard a lot. Sounds to me like she has a chip on her shoulder and is trying to use her children for attention. I'm sure people won't agree with me and that's fine.





Oh no I can tell you we here that stuff aaaallll the time people asked me if they were all mine soo much I made it the title of a book. You would be surprised how rude complete strangers can be.
bleumonster
by Ruby Member on Mar. 3, 2014 at 8:24 AM
I have no opinion on the signs. I would have to have more information about her kids. They may have told her the ones they hear all the time.

I adopted two biracial AA/C siblings and I get some of those questions.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 3, 2014 at 12:04 PM
lots of reasons. while they make enough money (shes a dr, he owns a few different businesses) because they are "little" they do have increased risks for certain health problems\disabilities etc that the USA wont work with that other countries will. stuff that i dont believe should automatically bar them from adopting here...more precautions\backup plans if this or that were to happen, yes of course but automatic denial...no

Quoting Anonymous: Can't? Is the process different ? Im curious as to why. (Looking into adoption atm )

Quoting Anonymous: while generally i agree with you some people CANT adopt in the USA. and they make wonderful parents. like that couple on tv, the "little couple" they wouldnt be able to adopt here.

Quoting Anonymous: I'm against international adoption. Leave babies in their own country!!!!! Why adopt overseas, and not from our own country? There are lots of babies/kids in America who need a living home and family.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 3, 2014 at 12:14 PM
so many people assume that once a kid is in the foster care system they are automatically avaliable for adoption. i used to, until i worked at a daycare with a lady who was also a foster mom. thats when i learned that MOST of the kids in foster care are not avaliable for adoption and infants even less because it can tae a few years to take parentl rights which means child goes from infant to toddler or toddler to young child and most people only want infants.

Quoting mcginnisc:

Quoting Anonymous: I'm against international adoption. Leave babies in their own country!!!!! Why adopt overseas, and not from our own country? There are lots of babies/kids in America who need a living home and family.

1.) How many have you adopted from the  US? 

2.) There are more children adopted from the US foster care system than any other process

3.) There are NOT a lot of kids in the US that *need* loving homes that are available for adoption. 

4.) I'm the mom of a little girl adopted from China. :-) 

nanny1918
by Silver Member on Mar. 3, 2014 at 12:14 PM
I think out says a lot about a person when they adopt a child. No matter where the child is from !
muppet_mom
by Member on Mar. 3, 2014 at 9:40 PM


Quoting Schauseil: Some of those were rude, and some of them I find to be completely acceptable. For example, if any of my friends adopted a child from overseas I would ask why. I see nothing wrong with it, I would just be curious. If I adopt I will adopt within my country and have a truly innocent curiosity as to why other ppl choose to adopt from other Countries.

I think a lot of it is about context.  I don't find it offensive if someone like a friend or family member asks me why I chose to adopt internationally.  I have no problem sharing information about adoption with someone who honestly just wants to learn.

But it is offensive when the person in the grocery store line rudely asks you or even asks in front of your child.  It is rude because it is a very personal question to ask a stranger and often the person asking isn't asking to learn.  It is rude when it is asked as a retorical question.

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