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my 4 year old dd is telling me to shut up!?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
My dd is 4 years old. She has a issues with her speech. It is delayed about 6 months back. She shes a speech therapist who has evaluated her twice now and still she says my dd doesnt have a comprehension about certain things which causes dd to get frustrated easily because she doesnt understand.

Aside from all this, my dd is an only child and only grandchild. She is very spoiled by my parents and sometimes myself. She never leaves the store empty handed. Recently she has started to demand more than one thing when we leave the store.

For instance; last night dd and I, with my mother, went to see the lego Movie in the movie theater. So my dd wanted some popcorn and a drink, she got that plus my mom got her some chocolate to go with it all. Shes fine and everything is okay. For her first movie in public she does great. Stays quiet and doesnt bug anyone. After she finishes her chocolate, she starts demanding more very loudly and right off the bat gets frustrated in a second. I give her some of my chocolate and tell her she has to be quiet. The show ends and she starts BALLING. throws a huge fit while yelling 'I want to see another movie!'. I tell her no and she goes on and on with her crying. We pass by those little toy machines. She starts demanding that she get two. I told her none because of the way she is acting. People stare obviously. I expect it. I just stay calm and smile while tagging her along to the car. We get in the car and I tell her its enough. She starts yelling that she wants toys r us. I again tell her no. Her behaviour was not acceptable. A few minutes later she says she is thirsty so I get her a drink. In the car she has 2 cup holders beside her. Instead of putting the drink in the cup holder like she always does, she tells me to grab it. I quivkly turn around and she THROWS the drink at me. I have enough at tgis point and I tell her sternly that she is a lucky kid to get all these toys and to go out to the movies or museums, some kids dont get to to do that. And most kids dont get a toy every store they go to. She finally stops, says sorry. We get home and she starts crying again that she didnt get a toy. I ignore it and tell her that we have to start getting ready for bed. She tells me to shut up and leave her alone.

I say strike one. She freaks out. (Strike 1 is a warning, strike two means to apologize and think about what you are doing and strike 3 is a time out for 3 minutes. Anything past that I take her computer, her tablet, any fav toy ect...

she just tells me to shut up. Im at loss of what to do. I have started the no new toys thing this week. Asking my mother to not get her anything. Of course my parents laugh and tell me that this is what grandparents do. My grandparents never did that but my parents have more money than they did. I underatand they want my dd happy and content but life is hell because of this. My 4 year old treats me like crap on the ground. This morning she woke up and came downstairs and looked at me saying 'WHY DIDNT YOU PICK UP MY TOYS!?' I looked at her and told her that she can pick them up. That ended in a 15 minute tantrum of crying and screaming right off the bat. I dont know what to do anymore. I am being more stern with her. Explaining things to her. Telling her that we dont say shut up. Telling her it hurts my feelings ect... she doesnt care.

Any advice? Was or is your child like this?

Dd can be sweet and caring. She can be loving and gentle. Its just her mood is more 'I WANT THE WORLD, I GET THE WORLD.'

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 2, 2014 at 11:33 AM
Replies (21-30):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Mar. 2, 2014 at 11:50 AM

Do you live with your mom?

mlg1989
by ZombieMegg on Mar. 2, 2014 at 11:51 AM
1 mom liked this
That's how I am. I say if he doesn't cut it out I'll count to three and that it's his last and only warning. I count from 5 down though, then time out or a swat on the tush depending on the deed.

Quoting OwlNuggets:

I kinda do? I announce I'll be counting to 3 before I actually do.

Quoting mlg1989: This except I usually give one chance for redemption lol

LyTe684
by Ruby Member on Mar. 2, 2014 at 11:51 AM
I totally agree.

Quoting abecee:

 Thank you.  I was afraid of other reactions.  I'm not honestly sure what I would do.  I think the OP is making lots of excuses for her 4 year old. I think she understand plenty.


Quoting LyTe684: Why did this make me laugh so hard. Lol!
Quoting abecee:

Serious problem for me.she would get nothing for the next 10 years.


 

Elyce225
by Emerald Member on Mar. 2, 2014 at 11:52 AM

Ughm you need to nip it in the bud now before it gets worse.

If your parents won't listen to you about not getting her anything she shouldn't be allowed to go out with them alone. Take all of her toys she doesn't pick up and pack them away.

YOU are the only one who can stop this. Is her father in the picture?
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OwlNuggets
by HAIL NUGGY! on Mar. 2, 2014 at 11:52 AM

I'm not against swats but we don't do them... my husband had a rough childhood and we agreed that we would try to abstain from physical punishments if we could. I have had to smack her hand and stuff before, though.

Quoting mlg1989: That's how I am. I say if he doesn't cut it out I'll count to three and that it's his last and only warning. I count from 5 down though, then time out or a swat on the tush depending on the deed.


AVE SATANAS!
mlg1989
by ZombieMegg on Mar. 2, 2014 at 11:53 AM
1 mom liked this
Understandable.
:)

Quoting OwlNuggets:

I'm not against swats but we don't do them... my husband had a rough childhood and we agreed that we would try to abstain from physical punishments if we could. I have had to smack her hand and stuff before, though.

Quoting mlg1989: That's how I am. I say if he doesn't cut it out I'll count to three and that it's his last and only warning. I count from 5 down though, then time out or a swat on the tush depending on the deed.
MariannLws
by Gold Member on Mar. 2, 2014 at 11:53 AM

You are too lenient and give in too easily. From what you described your daughter knows she can get what ever she wants when she wants it. If you do not nip this in the bud now it will only get worse as she gets older.

I am a very strict parent and my children were never allowed to act this way. When I tell my children to do something I expect it done now. Also, all those tantrums would never be tolerated. They would have gotten swats in their behinds as soon as the 1st shout left their mouths. But ... that's me. I am stricted and run a very tight ship. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Mar. 2, 2014 at 11:55 AM

I bet a good spankon would get her attention and help her 'behave'

Anonymous
by Anonymous 8 on Mar. 2, 2014 at 11:56 AM
That's what you get!!! And expect more the older she gets. Next she'll want another $200 IPad, her own car, a swimming pool, etc. SHAME ON YOU for what you've done. Buying and buying is NOT loving or caring. You're teaching her that she gets what she wants, when she wants. Now what will she do when she gets into the real world and spends every dime and has nothing or no one left?? If you truly care about your child you won't give them too much, just like parents who constantly feed children who demand it. Who is the parent here??? My DD EVER demands I clean her toys up, I go to her room, put them all in a trash bag, and throw them out then send her to her room for the day. Maybe get it at night and hide it so she thinks they're long gone but you can still give them little by little if she EARNS them, or give them for a birthday. She'll think they're new xD. lol And throw a drink at me? I'd dump it in her lap and let her be cold and soaked until we got home. Or I'd throw it out the window.
weeping_angel
by Don't Blink on Mar. 2, 2014 at 11:56 AM
My advice would be to stop the strikes. I quit giving DS warnings. When he does something he knows is wrong, he gets punished right then. It's work really well for him.
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