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my 4 year old dd is telling me to shut up!?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
My dd is 4 years old. She has a issues with her speech. It is delayed about 6 months back. She shes a speech therapist who has evaluated her twice now and still she says my dd doesnt have a comprehension about certain things which causes dd to get frustrated easily because she doesnt understand.

Aside from all this, my dd is an only child and only grandchild. She is very spoiled by my parents and sometimes myself. She never leaves the store empty handed. Recently she has started to demand more than one thing when we leave the store.

For instance; last night dd and I, with my mother, went to see the lego Movie in the movie theater. So my dd wanted some popcorn and a drink, she got that plus my mom got her some chocolate to go with it all. Shes fine and everything is okay. For her first movie in public she does great. Stays quiet and doesnt bug anyone. After she finishes her chocolate, she starts demanding more very loudly and right off the bat gets frustrated in a second. I give her some of my chocolate and tell her she has to be quiet. The show ends and she starts BALLING. throws a huge fit while yelling 'I want to see another movie!'. I tell her no and she goes on and on with her crying. We pass by those little toy machines. She starts demanding that she get two. I told her none because of the way she is acting. People stare obviously. I expect it. I just stay calm and smile while tagging her along to the car. We get in the car and I tell her its enough. She starts yelling that she wants toys r us. I again tell her no. Her behaviour was not acceptable. A few minutes later she says she is thirsty so I get her a drink. In the car she has 2 cup holders beside her. Instead of putting the drink in the cup holder like she always does, she tells me to grab it. I quivkly turn around and she THROWS the drink at me. I have enough at tgis point and I tell her sternly that she is a lucky kid to get all these toys and to go out to the movies or museums, some kids dont get to to do that. And most kids dont get a toy every store they go to. She finally stops, says sorry. We get home and she starts crying again that she didnt get a toy. I ignore it and tell her that we have to start getting ready for bed. She tells me to shut up and leave her alone.

I say strike one. She freaks out. (Strike 1 is a warning, strike two means to apologize and think about what you are doing and strike 3 is a time out for 3 minutes. Anything past that I take her computer, her tablet, any fav toy ect...

she just tells me to shut up. Im at loss of what to do. I have started the no new toys thing this week. Asking my mother to not get her anything. Of course my parents laugh and tell me that this is what grandparents do. My grandparents never did that but my parents have more money than they did. I underatand they want my dd happy and content but life is hell because of this. My 4 year old treats me like crap on the ground. This morning she woke up and came downstairs and looked at me saying 'WHY DIDNT YOU PICK UP MY TOYS!?' I looked at her and told her that she can pick them up. That ended in a 15 minute tantrum of crying and screaming right off the bat. I dont know what to do anymore. I am being more stern with her. Explaining things to her. Telling her that we dont say shut up. Telling her it hurts my feelings ect... she doesnt care.

Any advice? Was or is your child like this?

Dd can be sweet and caring. She can be loving and gentle. Its just her mood is more 'I WANT THE WORLD, I GET THE WORLD.'

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 2, 2014 at 11:33 AM
Replies (31-40):
scarletmeshell
by Platinum Member on Mar. 2, 2014 at 11:57 AM

What does a speech delay have to do with this? She has her own computer?

PinkButterfly66
by Emerald Member on Mar. 2, 2014 at 11:58 AM

First off, you need to nip it in the bud now or she's going to get worse.  Stop buying her everything she asks for.  She has grown to expect that her every wish and desire will be given into and that needs to stop.  No more buying toys everytime you go shopping.  Start telling her no.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 8 on Mar. 2, 2014 at 12:01 PM
This.. I'd tell the gps no more visits if they reward misbehaving. Idc if u 'have $' doesnt mean u spend it all. children should get MAYEB two or 3 new toys /month. evn tht is a lot. dd only gets new stuff 4 bdays and othr holidays w the occaisonal surprise 4 good behavior or potty training or othr good things. positive reinforcement.

i agree about throwing dds drink out the window and bagging up toys fom the floor. i wouldve ended the movie trip the SEOCND she started getting loud bout choclate. im 18 nd im not allowd 2 get ANYTHING @ movies bc its so expensive. take her 2 hoemless sheltrs 2 c how good she has it. NO MORE NEW TOYS. she is ovviously feeling she is the boss here. step u nd be a PARENT not a babysitr or bff.

Quoting Elyce225:
Ughm you need to nip it in the bud now before it gets worse.

If your parents won't listen to you about not getting her anything she shouldn't be allowed to go out with them alone. Take all of her toys she doesn't pick up and pack them away.

YOU are the only one who can stop this. Is her father in the picture?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 8 on Mar. 2, 2014 at 12:06 PM
I don't get why any parent is okay with spoiling, or why some feel good about it or brag like it makes them better parents. There is nothing okay or good about giving your child unrealistic views of the world, that they can always have what they want when they want, and they will hate you for it when they get pushed into the real world and realize you raised them pretty much in a lie. They will be spoiled little jerks. Nobody will want to be their friend because they'll likely just brag but not share, they'll be selfish little entitled monsters. Then even if they are nice sharing kids, people will be their friends just to step all over them and use or 'borrow' their things. There is nothing to be proud of when you raise your child teaching them to be materialistic. YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED.
Mommy1438
by on Mar. 2, 2014 at 12:07 PM
Hahahahaha, I had to check & see if this was anonymous. I didn't know such bad parenting really existedd lmao xD. GOOD LUCK! haahahahaha
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 9 on Mar. 2, 2014 at 12:09 PM
Why were the strikes only started after she told you to shut up? I can *maybe* forgive a tantrum from a tired kid that just spent almost two hours sitting still and being quiet, but throwing a drink would have been 3 strikes all at once. Being behind by 6 months doesn't justify anything...I mean my recently turned 3yo understands not to do stuff like that. You just need stronger consequences and to stop giving in.
Hanab818
by Ruby Member on Mar. 2, 2014 at 12:11 PM
1 mom liked this
This. It took a while for my kids to get it but when they hear 1 now they run to do whatever it is I told them to do. Also start taking toys away. Give her a warning then take them all away. Have her earn them back.

Quoting OwlNuggets:

screw strikes. when I ask my daughter to do something and she doesn't wanna I start slowly counting to 3. if she doesn't get her butt in gear by "3" she gets to go hang out in time-out.

othermom
by Ruby Member on Mar. 2, 2014 at 12:11 PM

Start punishing her soon her. If my child acted like that they would have been in trouble at the first fit. Stop buying her so much stuff.  When she acts up, put her straight in to time out until the fit is done, no talking. If she keeps acting up back to time out and she loses her toys. I would even spank for an attitude like that I would take away the toys and everything till she can be have. My daughter is 4 and she knows better than to act like that. She threw a fit a few months ago because I shut her door and she wanted it open. After 15 minutes of her crying, I walked in there, swatted her once on the bottom told her to knock it off and calm down. Walked out and shit the door. She came out a few minutes later and was quite and fine.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 2, 2014 at 12:12 PM
Post and run?
othermom
by Ruby Member on Mar. 2, 2014 at 12:12 PM

 I count too and usually don't get past 2, usually they start behaving at one.

Quoting Hanab818: This. It took a while for my kids to get it but when they hear 1 now they run to do whatever it is I told them to do. Also start taking toys away. Give her a warning then take them all away. Have her earn them back.
Quoting OwlNuggets:

screw strikes. when I ask my daughter to do something and she doesn't wanna I start slowly counting to 3. if she doesn't get her butt in gear by "3" she gets to go hang out in time-out.

 

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