The ongoing problem in my house is that my kids have no respect for me. And why should they? I don't discipline them. I try, but I fail. They walk all over me and can talk me out of anything.
I have turned into my mother in so many ways. Growing up, she never disciplined me. Compared to her I am military strict, or try to be anyway. It made me feel unloved, and I felt like she didn't care about me. Let me say that she was to the extreme. I would come home with a report card of all F's and there would be no talk, no consequence. (If my kids get a C, their phones get taken away.) I would scream at her and tell her to go to her room. I mean it was ridiculous. I think she was severely depressed after my dad left, and she never got over it, ever.
Anyway, back to me and my kids. I get it. I know how they feel and why, and everytime we have these talks where I say, you don't respect me, (they agree) I say you don't listen to me, they tell me it's my fault because they don't have any consequences. The most I will do is send them to their rooms or tell them they cannot hang out with their friends on the weekend. I have 3 teenagers. I started out as a very strict mom, that's the weirdest thing about all this! I was very consistent with them, I KNEW how important that was. It's these teenage years that have overwhelmed me to the point where I guess I am just a horrible mother. I feel like a total failure, not just parenting wise but in life, in general.
I know there will be comments where some will state the obvious, I suck at this parenting thing. But if any of you are interested in helping me, can you please give me ideas on how to be more strict with them? For their ages? They are 13, 14, and 17.
What are good consequences for talking back, not doing chores, being rude to me, ect. and fighting with each other. I'll take any and all suggestions. I know I've failed, but I am not going to give up and stay stuck there. I love them too much, they are all I have in this world.