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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I don't want to live like a pauper

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 40 Replies
My husband and I got married about 8 months ago. He is much more fiscally conservative than I am. I'm not careless with money and managed me household as a single parent for years. He just never buys himself things, and I do.

We sat down and wrote out a budget a couple of months ago because we are planning on buying a house and were saving for a down payment. Well, now we aren't making a down payment so I feel like we can loosen up the budget a bit, but I feel guilty and from his reactions and I can tell that it frustrates him. I don't go overboard with spending, but I hate feeling guilty for every purchase!!

We do have some debt that we are paying off as well, but I'm of the belief that it's ok to enjoy the present as well, even if you have debt. We are making well above minimum payments and it's little or no interest on everything, so it's not like we are losing that much money.

Suck it up and stop spending or tell him that he needs to compromise here?
Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 5, 2014 at 10:00 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 5, 2014 at 10:04 AM
Bump
JackieGirl007
by on Mar. 5, 2014 at 10:05 AM

Ok.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 5, 2014 at 10:05 AM
What are you buying that upsets him? There is a wide range of what you could be considering treating yourself.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 5, 2014 at 10:06 AM
Lunch at work once or twice a week. Yarn for projects. A CD here and there.

Quoting Anonymous: What are you buying that upsets him? There is a wide range of what you could be considering treating yourself.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Mar. 5, 2014 at 10:07 AM

That doesnt sound like living like a pauper. It sounds like living below your means..which is what more people need to do.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 5, 2014 at 10:07 AM
Yeah he's being ridiculous. You need to sit down and re evaluate your budget and give each of you a personal spending budget.

Quoting Anonymous: Lunch at work once or twice a week. Yarn for projects. A CD here and there.

Quoting Anonymous: What are you buying that upsets him? There is a wide range of what you could be considering treating yourself.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 5, 2014 at 10:08 AM
We live well below our means, even if I spend a little extra. That's my argument- there is no necessity to us not spending some money for fun.

Quoting Anonymous:

That doesnt sound like living like a pauper. It sounds like living below your means..which is what more people need to do.

bhow
by on Mar. 5, 2014 at 10:11 AM

My husband was so bad at one point and time that I  saved every receipt for anything I purchased and when he would start I would bring out my little envelope full of receipts and hand it to him.  After a bit I started asking him where his were.  He got sick of it and stopped.  I know what a pain in the ass a man like this can be, honestly.  IDK what else to tell you.  Sorry.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 5, 2014 at 10:15 AM
I took my son to Starbucks one day and spent under $5 and he found the receipt and commented that he saw we went . Maybe I am being overly sensitive because my mother was super passive aggressive, but it really ticked me off!

Quoting bhow:

My husband was so bad at one point and time that I  saved every receipt for anything I purchased and when he would start I would bring out my little envelope full of receipts and hand it to him.  After a bit I started asking him where his were.  He got sick of it and stopped.  I know what a pain in the ass a man like this can be, honestly.  IDK what else to tell you.  Sorry.

bhow
by on Mar. 5, 2014 at 10:18 AM

Been there done that, saying something back in a calm adult fashion should get him to stop sooner or later.

Quoting Anonymous: I took my son to Starbucks one day and spent under $5 and he found the receipt and commented that he saw we went . Maybe I am being overly sensitive because my mother was super passive aggressive, but it really ticked me off!
Quoting bhow:

My husband was so bad at one point and time that I  saved every receipt for anything I purchased and when he would start I would bring out my little envelope full of receipts and hand it to him.  After a bit I started asking him where his were.  He got sick of it and stopped.  I know what a pain in the ass a man like this can be, honestly.  IDK what else to tell you.  Sorry.


How2Be

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