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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

"But mom... I was never allowed to do that!"

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 17 Replies

I, being the oldest, have uttered this to my mother countless times and swore to myself that I would never do it. That although I understand every child is different and should be treated as such, that I would never become a push over, that my youngest child would receive the same parenting as my first, that I would never become "lazy", which was the view I had garnered for my mother being that each child she had seem to accumulate more leniency.  Now I am a mother of 2 children who are 5 years apart, I find myself becoming more lax (for lack of a better term). It seems almost as though with your 1st there is this picture of perfection almost within your grasp (like you have an idea of the best approach) that becomes more foreign with a 2nd child (and I'd imagine possibly more so with following children). Am I alone in this thought or is this just generally how it goes? I feel a guilt almost in doing what I do to my oldest but it's like a sick disease I can't stop... the idea that you must do whats right although that though seems to weak-in in time. I guess I am looking for any oldest child with multiple children to find out if this is the norm and how do you correct it or become more comfortable with your decisions"?

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 6, 2014 at 11:50 PM
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Replies (1-10):
curvygurl1912
by Renee on Mar. 6, 2014 at 11:52 PM
2 moms liked this

We get wiser with more experience.

belindah
by on Mar. 6, 2014 at 11:59 PM
1 mom liked this

I am the oldest and with the third child my parents were very lenient.  She did things, that would have gotten me decapitated. I now have four kids and the oldest one is hardly gets into trouble, but the youngest one seems to like to get into trouble so I am more strict with her.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 7, 2014 at 12:13 AM

My oldest is a Saint. he is so good. My youngest one is definately more work. I am, not sure if it's because I've been more lienent or because they are just a different person entirely though. My kids are 8 and 4 1/5. How old is your youngest?

Quoting belindah:

I am the oldest and with the third child my parents were very lenient.  She did things, that would have gotten me decapitated. I now have four kids and the oldest one is hardly gets into trouble, but the youngest one seems to like to get into trouble so I am more strict with her.


katemckenzie
by Kate on Mar. 7, 2014 at 12:19 AM

This.

Quoting belindah:

I am the oldest and with the third child my parents were very lenient.  She did things, that would have gotten me decapitated. I now have four kids and the oldest one is hardly gets into trouble, but the youngest one seems to like to get into trouble so I am more strict with her.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 7, 2014 at 12:21 AM

Do you have more then one? If so do you find yourself become more lenient?

Quoting katemckenzie:

This.

Quoting belindah:

I am the oldest and with the third child my parents were very lenient.  She did things, that would have gotten me decapitated. I now have four kids and the oldest one is hardly gets into trouble, but the youngest one seems to like to get into trouble so I am more strict with her.


cybcm
by Platinum Member on Mar. 7, 2014 at 12:21 AM
1 mom liked this

Oh yeah, I've become a lot more lenient as time has gone on.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 7, 2014 at 12:22 AM
1 mom liked this
The issue is our home is DH is more strict with our daughter's than our sons. For example, senior year our son had a midnight curfew but our daughter has a 10:30 curfew.
katemckenzie
by Kate on Mar. 7, 2014 at 12:42 AM

If anything we're MORE strict with DS than we were with SS when he was DS's age. DS doesn't give two shits about what you say, he's going to do whatever the hell he wants anyway, so he's always disciplined. SS has always been a very obedient kid, fit throwing is rare. I can count on one hand how many full meltdowns I've witnessed SS have... DS has that many in a day.

Quoting Anonymous:

Do you have more then one? If so do you find yourself become more lenient?

Quoting katemckenzie:

This.

Quoting belindah:

I am the oldest and with the third child my parents were very lenient.  She did things, that would have gotten me decapitated. I now have four kids and the oldest one is hardly gets into trouble, but the youngest one seems to like to get into trouble so I am more strict with her.



belindah
by on Mar. 7, 2014 at 8:26 AM

She is seven, and she is definitely more work.  We have 12, 10,8 and 7.

Quoting Anonymous:

My oldest is a Saint. he is so good. My youngest one is definately more work. I am, not sure if it's because I've been more lienent or because they are just a different person entirely though. My kids are 8 and 4 1/5. How old is your youngest?

Quoting belindah:

I am the oldest and with the third child my parents were very lenient.  She did things, that would have gotten me decapitated. I now have four kids and the oldest one is hardly gets into trouble, but the youngest one seems to like to get into trouble so I am more strict with her.



belindah
by on Mar. 7, 2014 at 8:30 AM

It's the same way here too.  Her older brothers and sister will do what they are told, (the one closest to her age will do what he is told just half assed lol) but this one is defiant, and you can see her brain working on loopholes to avoid getting into trouble, or to turn the situation around to benefit her.

Quoting katemckenzie:

If anything we're MORE strict with DS than we were with SS when he was DS's age. DS doesn't give two shits about what you say, he's going to do whatever the hell he wants anyway, so he's always disciplined. SS has always been a very obedient kid, fit throwing is rare. I can count on one hand how many full meltdowns I've witnessed SS have... DS has that many in a day.

Quoting Anonymous:

Do you have more then one? If so do you find yourself become more lenient?

Quoting katemckenzie:

This.

Quoting belindah:

I am the oldest and with the third child my parents were very lenient.  She did things, that would have gotten me decapitated. I now have four kids and the oldest one is hardly gets into trouble, but the youngest one seems to like to get into trouble so I am more strict with her.



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