I, being the oldest, have uttered this to my mother countless times and swore to myself that I would never do it. That although I understand every child is different and should be treated as such, that I would never become a push over, that my youngest child would receive the same parenting as my first, that I would never become "lazy", which was the view I had garnered for my mother being that each child she had seem to accumulate more leniency. Now I am a mother of 2 children who are 5 years apart, I find myself becoming more lax (for lack of a better term). It seems almost as though with your 1st there is this picture of perfection almost within your grasp (like you have an idea of the best approach) that becomes more foreign with a 2nd child (and I'd imagine possibly more so with following children). Am I alone in this thought or is this just generally how it goes? I feel a guilt almost in doing what I do to my oldest but it's like a sick disease I can't stop... the idea that you must do whats right although that though seems to weak-in in time. I guess I am looking for any oldest child with multiple children to find out if this is the norm and how do you correct it or become more comfortable with your decisions"?