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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

It's 11PM and my 9 year old is...

Posted by on Mar. 7, 2014 at 12:00 AM
  • 70 Replies
Still up doing homework. It's his fault too. I don't know what to do to make him just freaking get his work done!! Every Monday he gets a math packet (10-12 pages), a list of spelling/vocab words that he has to put into sentences, and a story to read and answer questions about sent home with him. It's all due back by Friday. His teacher said that it takes most kids about 30-45 minutes each night to get it all done by the end of the week. Not my son!! It takes him literally 4-5 hours every single weekday after school to get it all turned in by Friday.

I should clarify that it's not because he doesn't understand. He's VERY smart. He gets it. In fact, he already skipped one grade and his teacher has him doing even more advanced work. He just sits there staring at the paper spacing out or telling me random stories that come to mind. I have to remind him every couple of minutes to continue working. Then he gets frustrated because it takes him so long.

I tried just letting him turn it in unfinished thinking that he'd be so upset about getting a bad grade that he'd never do it again. That didn't work. He knows he can pull the grade up with tests. I tried taking away all privileges until he got it done. That upset him, but he still went slow as molasses. His teacher said he does the same thing in class. She's taken away recess and even isolated him from the rest of the class.

I'm at my wits end!! Why does he do this? What can I do to make him motivated to go faster? All of his smarts are going to get him nowhere in life if this is his work ethic.
by on Mar. 7, 2014 at 12:00 AM
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Replies (1-10):
funny_girl3
by Gold Member on Mar. 7, 2014 at 12:04 AM

My son does that too.  He's 11.  He was diagnosed with add-inattentive.  It's adhd, but instead of being physically hyperactive it's their brain that can't settle down and focus.  I would bet a lot of money that if you have him evaluated that will be his diagnosis.  You can put him on meds or try therapy.  My son is doing therapy to learn coping strategies but as he gets further along in school and there is more work to be done the coping strategies are not working.  We will probably end up putting him on meds soon.

DevinAnnesmom
by Sarah on Mar. 7, 2014 at 12:05 AM
Bump
Mom-does-hair
by Gold Member on Mar. 7, 2014 at 12:06 AM
It's because he is too smart. I used to babysit a kid who was super smart like that and I had to keep on him for hours about his homework. He just didn't see the point when he knew how to do it. He'd do like 1 math problem and be like, I get it, I 'm good. Um, no? You have to do all of that.
funny_girl3
by Gold Member on Mar. 7, 2014 at 12:06 AM

Also, you are going to have to take control of the homework.  Dole it out in small amounts that are easier for him to accomplish.  He might only be able to focus for 3 or 4 math questions and then you will need to take a break.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 7, 2014 at 12:07 AM
It's midnight here and I just caught my 10 year old playing minecraft on her tablet. She knows that the tablet is supposed to be off at 9:30.

As for the homework issue I'm no help. My dd refuses to do hers after school so we agreed to wake up an hour early and do it before school. She goofs off and talks about random things so she never gets it all done and usually has to stay in during recess to finish it.
DevinAnnesmom
by Sarah on Mar. 7, 2014 at 12:07 AM
I've wondered about add. I'll be honest. I think it's way over diagnosed, so I didn't want to jump the gun and put him on unnecessary meds. Kwim? I might have to get him evaluated though because this is becoming ridiculous.

Quoting funny_girl3:

My son does that too.  He's 11.  He was diagnosed with add-inattentive.  It's adhd, but instead of being physically hyperactive it's their brain that can't settle down and focus.  I would bet a lot of money that if you have him evaluated that will be his diagnosis.  You can put him on meds or try therapy.  My son is doing therapy to learn coping strategies but as he gets further along in school and there is more work to be done the coping strategies are not working.  We will probably end up putting him on meds soon.

pregnantmama105
by on Mar. 7, 2014 at 12:08 AM
There's two families kids playing in the hall outside our apt door.... on a school night?
katemckenzie
by Kate on Mar. 7, 2014 at 12:09 AM

I was that way in school. I could NOT get my brain to focus, ever. I still can't most of the time, but I'm not doing schoolwork now.

funny_girl3
by Gold Member on Mar. 7, 2014 at 12:09 AM
1 mom liked this

You don't have to medicate.  Like I said, we do therapy.  The therapist works with parents too, teaches us how to manage his short attention span.

Quoting DevinAnnesmom: I've wondered about add. I'll be honest. I think it's way over diagnosed, so I didn't want to jump the gun and put him on unnecessary meds. Kwim? I might have to get him evaluated though because this is becoming ridiculous.
Quoting funny_girl3:

My son does that too.  He's 11.  He was diagnosed with add-inattentive.  It's adhd, but instead of being physically hyperactive it's their brain that can't settle down and focus.  I would bet a lot of money that if you have him evaluated that will be his diagnosis.  You can put him on meds or try therapy.  My son is doing therapy to learn coping strategies but as he gets further along in school and there is more work to be done the coping strategies are not working.  We will probably end up putting him on meds soon.


PandTsmomjuly
by Florence on Mar. 7, 2014 at 12:10 AM
My 10 year old does the same thing -_- A's and B's but can't focus to do the home work.

I've found letting her listen to music on her earbuds helps a bit like it did me. Your kid might be the kind that needs more mental stimulation.

I drove my mom NUTS because she was a quiet learner and I needed music. We went round and round for years over this -_-
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