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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I cannot do this anymore

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 334 Replies
3 moms liked this
1 second ago
My 20 year old son decided to move out two years ago because he didn't want to live by our house rules. He worked, yes, but he spent all of his money and clothes, pot, and cigarettes. Now he's having a health crisis. It's not disabling him from working but he is leaning on it and hasn't worked for a month. Now his rent is due and he wants me to pay it. Says he's going to be homeless.

He has done this his entire life, expected everyone to take up for him, do it for him, etc. I don't want to do it anymore. What do you think? Give him the four hundred for rent or tell him tough!

And before women want to start bashing me and saying I created this issue, I have two other straight A gifted hardworking kids.

Thanks
Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 7, 2014 at 5:38 AM
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Replies (1-10):
MaiVal
by Silver Member on Mar. 7, 2014 at 5:42 AM
14 moms liked this
He needs to be hit hard, if not he will be a moocher like my sisters. They are meth addicts. I believe my mom should have let them on their own a long time ago. They (twins) just turned 25 and one lives with my mom and has a son with a known drug dealer in prison. Who is in his late 40's!
Sparklepants747
by Queen Annie on Mar. 7, 2014 at 5:43 AM
18 moms liked this

That's a tricky one. Are there errands he could run for you or jobs he could do to earn it? If he wants to act like a child, I say you should treat him like one. 

suzanneyea
by Ruby Member on Mar. 7, 2014 at 5:43 AM
9 moms liked this

I would not. I have been clear with my kids, go to college, get good jobs and you have my financial support. If you chose another path, I love you , but who pill never help out financially. I am always there emotionally.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 7, 2014 at 5:46 AM
10 moms liked this
I forgot to write piog. And I meant to post in ere the first time. But thanks for noticing mrs perfect

Quoting imyourPuppy: :-) why did you post this twice???
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 7, 2014 at 5:47 AM
1 mom liked this
No, he won't pay his car insurance and therefore has no vehicle to drive. He's stolen from us, lied.

Quoting Sparklepants747:

That's a tricky one. Are there errands he could run for you or jobs he could do to earn it? If he wants to act like a child, I say you should treat him like one. 

atoney15
by Member on Mar. 7, 2014 at 5:50 AM
16 moms liked this
In that case I would tell him no. He's never going to take care of himself until he has no other option. Good luck!

Quoting Anonymous: No, he won't pay his car insurance and therefore has no vehicle to drive. He's stolen from us, lied.

Quoting Sparklepants747:

That's a tricky one. Are there errands he could run for you or jobs he could do to earn it? If he wants to act like a child, I say you should treat him like one. 

Sparklepants747
by Queen Annie on Mar. 7, 2014 at 5:51 AM
13 moms liked this

I think he's on his own then. He probably has a friend with a couch he could crash on. This will be a hard lesson, but he needs to learn it. :( Otherwise, he will keep running to you for more help and more money. I'm sorry. 

Quoting Anonymous: No, he won't pay his car insurance and therefore has no vehicle to drive. He's stolen from us, lied.
Quoting Sparklepants747:

That's a tricky one. Are there errands he could run for you or jobs he could do to earn it? If he wants to act like a child, I say you should treat him like one. 


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 7, 2014 at 5:55 AM
1 mom liked this
I know. It breaks my heart but we have to deprive our other children of things they've EARNED because he keeps asking for money. And the more we make it seems the more he asks for.

Quoting Sparklepants747:

I think he's on his own then. He probably has a friend with a couch he could crash on. This will be a hard lesson, but he needs to learn it. :( Otherwise, he will keep running to you for more help and more money. I'm sorry. 

Quoting Anonymous: No, he won't pay his car insurance and therefore has no vehicle to drive. He's stolen from us, lied.

Quoting Sparklepants747:

That's a tricky one. Are there errands he could run for you or jobs he could do to earn it? If he wants to act like a child, I say you should treat him like one. 

skipp2
by Bronze Member on Mar. 7, 2014 at 5:58 AM
9 moms liked this

That's rough, I'm sorry you're going through this. Does he have any history of depression? It can present in different ways with different people and if missed in childhood can become worse in adulthoood. (not bashing you at all - childhood depression can be easily passed off as age/horomones etc)

I think allowing him to become homeless is not an option.

His current illness, is it something well known? Are there support groups? How much education does he have? How much job experience?

I would also not let him let his rent slide. Bad credit will only hurt him further. Can he take a roomate? Or find someone to sublet and have him move home under mutually agreed upon conditions until he gets his life straitened out?

There's a big difference in maturity between an 18 year old and 20, it's possible he just needs that boost to get him out of his hole. Before you make any decisions though I'd advise you to check out any and all resources available to him and the rest of your family.

Good luck with this.

Sparklepants747
by Queen Annie on Mar. 7, 2014 at 6:03 AM
3 moms liked this

If it makes you feel any better, my aunt had to do this to my 21 year old cousin last year. She's fine now, she got back on her feet and she started a dental hygienist program at her local community college last fall. She needed a shove rather than a little push. 

Quoting Anonymous: I know. It breaks my heart but we have to deprive our other children of things they've EARNED because he keeps asking for money. And the more we make it seems the more he asks for.
Quoting Sparklepants747:

I think he's on his own then. He probably has a friend with a couch he could crash on. This will be a hard lesson, but he needs to learn it. :( Otherwise, he will keep running to you for more help and more money. I'm sorry. 

Quoting Anonymous: No, he won't pay his car insurance and therefore has no vehicle to drive. He's stolen from us, lied.
Quoting Sparklepants747:

That's a tricky one. Are there errands he could run for you or jobs he could do to earn it? If he wants to act like a child, I say you should treat him like one. 


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